On your terms, your shoulders

Are you where you want to be in life, do you have the job you want, the relationship you want, the things you want? What is stopping you from having these things?

We often make our lives much harder than they need to be because we have chosen to commit to the way we do things, often without considering if they are the most effective ways at all. Much of what we have learned is the teaching of others who have learned in different times and different environments. On top of this, what may have worked for us at one point in time under certain conditions, might not be suitable as those conditions change.

Learning from others can be very valuable or, not. And, just because something has worked in the past, it doesn't mean it always will. Our actions require continual attention to make sure they are suitable to keep us on the path to where we think we want to be.

Because we become attached to some actions, make them habitual or identify with them as part of us, it can be difficult to change them, even when we recognise we should. It is also difficult when we realise that what we need to do, we are uncomfortable in doing. Changing our behaviours is not an easy task at all and is often coupled with various forms of failure to boot.

When what we do is not suited to the environment, the environment becomes hostile and when we think that what we do is who we are, we feel victimised. We can feel that the world is against us and all those people who are benefiting from the environment are doing something wrong or have advantages. But is it true?

Potentially yes. It is true that some people have traits that help them in particular circumstances over others and when the conditions are favourable, they have advantages. However, winds can change direction, circumstances shift and who was just in a position of privilege is now struggling.

What happens if the changed conditions now favour the previous victims? Do they feel sorry for those who have lost favour and privilege or do they think they deserve it? Do think their new found success is their own, or part of the randomness of nature?

In general, people over-estimate the role of luck in their successes and instead attribute it to the self and very soon develop feelings of entitlement. The same people will see the success of others as lucky success though. When it comes to failure, lucks role is reversed. I failed because luck didn't often an ear, they failed because they weren't good enough.

But, people also discount the role that the person plays in the success factors also and underestimate how limiting they can be on their own success. People want to both feel they have the power to achieve their goals and not take responsibility for what it takes. They want to be successful as long as that means they do not have to change in order to be so.

Very few people are suited to being successful in this world and for those that become so, it is generally a combination of luck and a dedication to learn, practice and change behaviours as necessary to suit the environment. Not everyone is willing to do that of course as they want to do it on their terms which generally means with whatever skills they have now.

When it comes to guided personal development it requires objective looks to see where we are, where we want to be and what it is required to get there. Where we are is a position in reality, where we want to be is yet to be created but, it is our actions that move us.

Stand still, we are where we are and at the mercy of the conditions that will push, pull and victimise us. Act thoughtlessly and the chances of being where we want is severely diminished. Travel blindly and as the conditions shift, we will not see that our course must change.

But, pay attention to it all and our actions will shift with the conditions, adapt and allow us to course correct. The future destination might change also but with the new information, skillset and perspectives, we might be glad it has.

We do not carry the world on our shoulders, we carry our world on our shoulders. Why is it so heavy?

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]