On your terms, your shoulders
Are you where you want to be in life, do you have the job you want, the relationship you want, the things you want? What is stopping you from having these things?
We often make our lives much harder than they need to be because we have chosen to commit to the way we do things, often without considering if they are the most effective ways at all. Much of what we have learned is the teaching of others who have learned in different times and different environments. On top of this, what may have worked for us at one point in time under certain conditions, might not be suitable as those conditions change.
Learning from others can be very valuable or, not. And, just because something has worked in the past, it doesn't mean it always will. Our actions require continual attention to make sure they are suitable to keep us on the path to where we think we want to be.
Because we become attached to some actions, make them habitual or identify with them as part of us, it can be difficult to change them, even when we recognise we should. It is also difficult when we realise that what we need to do, we are uncomfortable in doing. Changing our behaviours is not an easy task at all and is often coupled with various forms of failure to boot.
When what we do is not suited to the environment, the environment becomes hostile and when we think that what we do is who we are, we feel victimised. We can feel that the world is against us and all those people who are benefiting from the environment are doing something wrong or have advantages. But is it true?
Potentially yes. It is true that some people have traits that help them in particular circumstances over others and when the conditions are favourable, they have advantages. However, winds can change direction, circumstances shift and who was just in a position of privilege is now struggling.
What happens if the changed conditions now favour the previous victims? Do they feel sorry for those who have lost favour and privilege or do they think they deserve it? Do think their new found success is their own, or part of the randomness of nature?
In general, people over-estimate the role of luck in their successes and instead attribute it to the self and very soon develop feelings of entitlement. The same people will see the success of others as lucky success though. When it comes to failure, lucks role is reversed. I failed because luck didn't often an ear, they failed because they weren't good enough.
But, people also discount the role that the person plays in the success factors also and underestimate how limiting they can be on their own success. People want to both feel they have the power to achieve their goals and not take responsibility for what it takes. They want to be successful as long as that means they do not have to change in order to be so.
Very few people are suited to being successful in this world and for those that become so, it is generally a combination of luck and a dedication to learn, practice and change behaviours as necessary to suit the environment. Not everyone is willing to do that of course as they want to do it on their terms which generally means with whatever skills they have now.
When it comes to guided personal development it requires objective looks to see where we are, where we want to be and what it is required to get there. Where we are is a position in reality, where we want to be is yet to be created but, it is our actions that move us.
Stand still, we are where we are and at the mercy of the conditions that will push, pull and victimise us. Act thoughtlessly and the chances of being where we want is severely diminished. Travel blindly and as the conditions shift, we will not see that our course must change.
But, pay attention to it all and our actions will shift with the conditions, adapt and allow us to course correct. The future destination might change also but with the new information, skillset and perspectives, we might be glad it has.
We do not carry the world on our shoulders, we carry our world on our shoulders. Why is it so heavy?
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
It's a great idea to re-evaluate our goals from time to time and to be honest with ourselves about what we're doing to reach those dreams. It's not about being hard on ourselves, but simply course correcting to make sure we're taking the necessary steps.
small adjustments can create asymmetrical results (positive/negative) plus they tend to compound against each other. Paying a little attention and being willing to be a little uncomfortable goes a long way.
Absolutely. It's something I've been trying to remind myself weekly. I tend to aim for something with a plan in mind, and continue on that course for a long time without realising that there may be a few things I could do/stop doing to make my actions more effective. This is true of all kinds of things, whether it be business, studying, or even things I do in my spare time like learning to play the guitar.
"The unexamined life is not worth living"
It doesn't take much effort with some practice.
Generally, I believe there's no standard formula for success in life. However, there are are certain tested principles which we learn from people who have pass through the same path we follow and can use them as a guide in our own journey. Note it that this principles should only be used as a guide but not a formula. As individuals we are to develop our own unique approach, we can learn from the examples of others and mold them into our own unique approach for each situations.
You are right, people need to be adaptive and flexible to be able to respond well to a variety or circumstances or be swallowed like the dinosaurs. One of the ways to improve on your adaptivity is to increase your scope of knowledge by learning new things in broad areas. I talked a lot about this in an article I posted about two weeks ago on my blog. Being knowledgeable and skillful in a broad area will increase your associative thinking ability which is a key to adaptation in changing environments.
You also talked about the role luck plays in our success and failures. It remind me of a verse I read once
Thank you for sharing these words with us, I hope it will serve as a guide to most as we journey through life.
"what may have worked for us at one point in time under certain conditions, might not be suitable as those conditions change." I swear it was the concept that made me change from a loser on steemit into a guy with a consistent weekly income can increase but can't decrease in my own way. I just got it after stopping thinking like others.
for sure everybody has to consider his abilities and make it his way not others' way
Glad to hear it.
thank you so much
Congratulations, you found the wise wizard. Now you are at your best for you have discovered what works for you.
thanks a lot. I appreciate that
Thoughtful piece Sir. I love this quote so much as it lay emphasis on the theme of the write up
My point is sometimes to be successful, one need to be flexible, there's really no shame in abandoning that method that fails to work for a new one. But sometimes, it's hard yielding to change.
It is hard indeed and it is a good quote.
Talking of change, it looks like your vote isn't worth much but you upvote your comment. I am not against this so much for small accounts but here is something to consider if you comment on my posts. I often give 1 perent votes (currently 6c) but, sometimes more. Sometimes I use it to push a comment to the top. However, if someone has self voted, it means it that it will push their comment to the top, which I may not want, which means I don't vote at all. I will vote on this but it is something for you to consider as it is likely that my vote is more valuable to you than your own vote. Voting on comments is a very powerful tool in my opinion.
Okay noted. Thanks for the correction.
Just something to think about.
This is true, sometimes we do things because we feel it worked in the past or because it worked for someone. We dont take time to study the circumstances that made it work then and for whoever it worked for
Yes, as conditions change, we need to reevaluate action and doing what another does does not guarantee the same result.
very true. i work on cars for a living so we are constantly having to relearn , unlearn, and relearn as the cars change and are designed by different engineers every now model.
Are you worried that soon they will drive in solo and fix themselves?
One of my brothers was a mechanic and it definitely is one of those things that one must continually upgrade skills for.
not really. they are already running programs on our scan tools they have dubbed "guided fault finding" as a crutch for people that don't have good diagnostic skills. To be honest it is a pretty crappy program and ussually leads people in the wrong direction. In my personal view i think that i will be dealing with a lot more high voltage cars in the next 20 years and less with gas/ diesel driven. We will be dealing with a lot more self driving stuff also. Plus porche is looking into using block chain tech
https://steemit.com/blockchain/@doomsdaychassis/porsche-is-looking-into-block-chain-tech-for-cars-this-could-be-huge
so that will be really neat to mess with. There is really going to be a steep learning curve in the next 10 years that is going to cull out the people that are not willing to / able to absorb what is coming at us.
Attention is the most important tool we have in our arsenal, what we put our attention is what manifests in our lives. Thank you for these thoughts
Absolutely. I think a lot of people underestimate what it takes to really change your habits and become the "ideal" person you want to be. It's about changing the way you've done things your whole life, and that takes commitment, strength and A LOT of patience. Being successful is about being honest with yourself and giving more value to the long-term results than the short-term profits. It's hard to do, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for those who succeed in that day after day.
I think this is an increasing problem as we move forward with an instant gratification mindset. It is definitely going to be one of the 'class' gap drivers.
yes, changing behavior isn't easy and can be followed by some failure but there will be no taste for success without failure
Nice read