Inside the Belly of the Worm: A Heroic Dose (P1)

in #philosophy6 years ago (edited)

The term “heroic dose” was first used by the author and famous psychonaut, Terence McKenna to describe a recommended dosage of psilocybin mushrooms. McKenna often recommended that when ingesting hallucinogenic or psychoactive plant medicines that one should take a substantial dosage in order to fully experience the effects of the substance and the journey within. A heroic dose is typically considered to be 5 grams or more of psilocybin.


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The following is a piece of my heroic dose story. My only regret in sharing it is that words do not do the experience any justice.


A few years back my friends and I bought an 8th (roughly 28 grams) of psilocybin mushrooms and eagerly divided the amount among the four of us. This was not our first time taking mushrooms but my friends none the less aired on the side of caution and only ate a portion of their share. I excitedly chewed and swallowed my entire 7 grams.

Within 30 minutes or so I began to notice the effects. I remember feeling a bit disoriented like I was a floating head drifting through the room. A conscious balloon that had forgotten it had a body. My body I viewed as a clumsy thing that I was trapped inside of, but which also grounded me to the material world of reality. I wanted to escape its confines. To burst outward and be free.

I asked my friend if he could turn into a mouse or a fox and I truly believed that he could if only he set his mind to it.

Outside the snow glittered on the ground and I walked through it without a care. I felt untouchable. I laughed at how ridiculous it was for me to believe that such a beautiful thing could cause me harm.

I didn’t feel cold or wet.

I felt that I was literally creating reality in my mind, so why should I hold onto beliefs that limit me with fear?
I looked around, breathlessly at the world’s beauty. I stood in awe as everything around me sparkled with a radiant energy.

The same energy.


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Suddenly I felt overwhelmed. Everything that surrounded me was alive.

Not alive in the sense that a human being or an animal is alive, but alive in that everything within my perception was made of the same energy. There was no difference between the energy that made up my body and the energy that made up the trees, the sidewalk, the buildings or the snow. It was all the same energy flowing through the various material objects of my perception.

Each object vibrates at a different frequency which causes light particles to reflect back to the eyes at different speeds. The whole process creates our perception which is a very realistic illusion that the world is made up of separate objects.


The atoms which made up the houses and the trees and the sidewalk, were all alive with the same energy, much like the cells of a body are all alive. The body is made up of individual cells and each cell contains life.

Humans exist with every aspect of themselves being alive and now I was seeing that the rest of the world exists in this state as well.

It was all very clear to me and yet I was confused. I could sense it but my brain fought to understand it. I could feel it searching for logic to explain this great mystery. A mystery that is always present but that normally exists below my conscious awareness.

Finally in its struggle, my brain formulated the idea that I was trapped inside the belly of a large worm. This was symbolic of course. The world around me looked the same as it always had, but it was how my mind attempted to make sense of the information overload.

The human body is made up of different parts – a heart, a liver, the lungs and the intestines...etc. All of these parts are each made up of individual living cells that are alive in and of themselves. I was like a single living cell that was existing within an organism that was much larger.

The entire world around me and perhaps the universe or even god itself, existed as one living organism, that was made up of seemingly individual parts, that all had the same living energy flowing through them. One thing that could not be separated.

And there I was, an awakened single cell, standing inside the belly of the worm in awe at my surroundings and my newly found awareness.


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I have had different, but relateable experiences on both drugs. Both times featured actual visible energy lines or songlines if you prefer, superimposed on the natural landscape.
The time on mushrooms that it happened was tamer and more natural, it happened in the 'dunes' at Sandgate, and was very aboriginal in texture, very aboriginal art, if you like.
The main time I remember on LSD was after two weeks with only one sleep at Stanthorpe, and was very vivid, electric blue ley lines, that met in a point not that distant from me and gushed into the heavens in a spectacular display.
Just part of an amazing trip that I will always remember, real late in the game really, once most people had gone off to sleep.
I went out into the bush and it all got real.

gotta love them drugs.

that's really interesting. I have never heard of an experience like that. The lines you speak of remind me of your art. I wonder if the two are related and if so, I wonder which came first or which influences the other. Do es your artwork influence the experience or did the experience influence the artwork?

I don't know how to answer that, the art started before the drugs, by a few years, but was really different then.

I have been taking drugs since I finally cottoned onto them at 18
I have been considering myself first and foremost a famous artist of the future since I was about 14
haha
both those dates are a long time ago, and I still take drugs, and I still consider myself a famous artist of the future.

But I can get through the day without art. I don't want to, but many days go past and I have nothing to show for them.

worse now than ever really

never go a day without drugs, although I have considered the possibility

so I don't know what my art would be without drugs.
Although it occurs to me, that I do have two things that I painted in my three years clean.
I may post about them, or using the images at least.

thats very interesting.
An artist from the future - I like that :)

well, I did say an artist of the future, but whatever

haha

right, yes. Sorry, I misspelled that lol. I did mean of not from

They should start selling mushrooms otc, we need this experience once in a while. I never got to experience things like you narrated but once, long ago, I tried LSA through hawain woodrose. It was plain nasty and I can only advise people not to try it plus it's not a psychedelic, probably a substance pushing you to near death experience and you're just waiting for the trip to subside.

I have also tried hawain woodrose and wrote an article about it a few months ago. See below if you're interested. https://steemit.com/life/@leaky20/that-time-i-poisoned-myself-and-had-a-spiritual-epiphany
I agree, it was more of a near death experience then anything, but it did give me an epiphany that changed my outlook on water. Sounds strange lol. You should write about your experience

Definitely strange. Lol. I will go read that. water would be the last thing on my mind on a woodrose trip. one night, i was praying not to die. I thought I would, Too scared to have any epiphany.

yeah that makes sense. My experience was intense but it sounds like yours was more intense then mine. You may have done a larger dose then I did.

I think I had 4 seeds and never took time to clean well. I crushed it, emptied a tea sac and replaced the content. I kept it in my mouth for an hour. My heart was beating like 1000 times a minute. I cant even forget how I thought I would be dead by morning. I was weak the whole of the next day. I did it two more times and threw them in a locker. I think maybe it worked because you cleaned it and didnt over dose.

yeah from what I read most of the toxins are contained in the skin of the seed, so cleaning them is very important.I actually took 15 seeds so I'm guessing it was the lack of cleaning them that gave you such a bad experience. Personally, I wouldn't recommend them to anyone.

15!? is an overkill for me. I would probably kill myself. That's true, I read that later. Definitely, no one should try this at all. Whoever is reading should stay away from LSA.

Great trip story. I'm still waiting for my chance to try mushrooms. LSD is my most used psychedelic but I need different experiences.

I'm the opposite I guess. I've never tried LSD. For me, psilocybin was a very spiritual experience.

I feel like LSD makes you learn more about yourself and how you can change for the better. You also come up with some great ideas.

Something very interesting about mushrooms is that when you do a lot of them, you actually lose your internal dialogue - completely. Its a strange experience because you literally cannot think. For instance, you may know what your name is and if someone calls it then you respond. However, if someone were to ask you why you have a name - you literally cannot answer because the "talking to yourself" in your own head is completely shut off. Its a hard concept for some people to grasp if they have not experienced it but basically, its like trying to describe an apple without using words lol - it doesn't work. I think its what I am going to eventually write about in part 2 of my heroic dose story.

I think Lsd is a great one from accounts I have read too. Did you have anything resembling communications with intelligent entities outside you? Do you keep a journal you can post here?

I haven't had any experiences with intelligent entities now. I keep an idea journal but I haven't written in it in a while. I stopped posting my journal entries lately.

maybe with some free time, you might get back to putting in some new entries especially since you have people reading them. I read people like Grant Morrison (Comic artist) along with guys like Anton Wilson. They always spoke about communication with some entities while high on LSD.

Yeah I believe it. Its common with a lot of hallucinogens and psychedelics

I think so too. 'Will be looking forward to your new entries or old ones.

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