Death and Mushrooms: analyzing the psychology of a magic mushroom experience
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I recently had a conversation with some colleagues about the topic of death. It is a bit of a strange topic for discussion but it was quite interesting to say the least. We mostly discussed our relationship with the idea of death and how in Western society people tend to fear death, ignore it, and pretend like it doesn’t exists.
However, the conversation eventually took a turn when one of my colleagues stated that her partner used to fear death until he tried magic mushrooms (psilocybin). She stated that since taking mushrooms he no longer feared death. This comment prompted me to chime in and confirm what my colleague had said. I informed the group that the same thing had happened to me after I tried mushrooms. Soon after my comment, another colleague who was a part of the conversation also concluded that she no longer feared death, for the same reason.
From this conversation I naturally concluded that a common experience among individuals who consume magic mushrooms is an abandonment of the fear of death.
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Later that night, in trying to understand what takes place in the mind and brain when an individual consumes magic mushrooms, I contemplated my own mushroom experience further. Though I am not an expert on the subject or on the human mind in general, I nonetheless think that I have come to an understanding of what happens in the brain when an individual consumes psilocybin. However, I will note that this explanation is not based on science but rather on my own understanding of the brain along with my own interpretation of my experience.
A Brief Description of my Mushroom Experience
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After consuming a “heroic dose” of psilocybin mushrooms my awareness and vision became vivid and crisp. I experienced a clarity of mind and vision like nothing I had ever experienced before. There was no fogginess or hallucinations. To the contrary, my mind was clear and my awareness was heightened and precise. It wasn’t like being in a dream but rather, like being awake for the first time. I felt a connection to the present moment that went beyond any meditation practice I had ever engaged in. I could see energy radiating from the world around me that flowed from one object into the next seamlessly, as if the world is not made of distinct and separate objects, but rather one continuous mystery that cannot be separated. I felt that I was a part of my surroundings and I felt at one with the world and with the universe at large. In that moment I felt as though I was seeing god for the first time. God was not a personified being who lived in the clouds who secretly judged and controlled its minions. God was the singular energy that flowed through the universe that not only connected all things, but was all things. In that moment I lost all fear of death. In fact, I felt content and at peace with the idea of dying right then and there. I had seen everything that I needed to see and that I would ever need to see. Nothing in my life to come would ever be as important as this moment right now, so if it was my time to go, then I was okay with that. Time was infinite.
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At that moment I had not noticed it, but a shift had already taken place within my brain. It became apparent to me a little while later. Images began to pop into my mind and I began to questions things.
What is a mother? What is a sister? Why do I need to eat and drink to live? What is death and what does it even mean to be alive? Are you and I different people?
I had these questions and others, some of which would have been simple to answer under normal circumstances. However, in this moment I could not answer them, or think them through or even comprehend them if someone were to explain them to me. Actually, I could not “think” at all. I had completely and utterly lost my internal dialogue, and along with it, my minds way of reasoning. It wasn’t that I was having trouble with it, as if I couldn’t find the exact words to describe something - no. “Thought” didn’t even exist. I had complete blankness in the mind. I could talk fine out loud. But I could not for the life of me formulate a single word in my head.
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In that moment, I had complete awareness of myself and my environment and I remember every detail and every part of that night even to this day. I even knew in that moment that I wasn’t able to “think,” something that I was supposed to be able to do under normal circumstances. But even knowing all of that, I still could not will myself to think and formulate words in my mind.
Left and Right Hemisphere
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My understanding of the brain is that the right and left hemispheres generally communicate with one another and work together to create a full picture of reality for an individual. That being said, my understanding is that each hemisphere does in fact process information differently in that, each hemisphere takes on a more predominant role in certain brain functions. In other words, each hemisphere tends to focus its attention on different aspects of an individual’s reality and tends to provide a different function for the individual.
For instance, the right hemisphere tends to be involved in things like feelings and emotion, visualization, imagination, creativity, intuition and holistic thinking.
On the other hand, the left hemisphere tends to be involved in things like language, logic and reasoning, facts, linear thinking and sequencing. Unlike the right brain which tends to focus on the big picture of things, the left brain is said to process information about the finer details of life.
Taking these concepts together and simplify things, we could say that the role of the right brain is to interpret an individual’s reality through feelings and intuition whereas the role of the left brain is to interpret an individual’s reality through words and logic.
What Happens in the Brain when on Mushrooms
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What I believe happens when an individual takes a high dose of psilocybin mushrooms is that the left hemisphere of the brain shuts down (or takes on a much lesser role in interpreting reality than what the individual is used to). This has the effect of allowing the individual to perceive their reality strictly through right hemisphere processing. If this is correct then I believe that it explains my personal experience with mushrooms.
Since the logic, reasoning and internal language functions of the brain shut off when psilocybin is consumed the individual is no longer able to perceive their reality through words. This would explain not only why I was unable to think or formulate words in my head but also why I perceived my environment to be a singular, continuous, non-separated mystery. My brain was essentially unable to categorize objects and separate them from one another - with words. It would also explain why I felt an immense sense of oneness with the universe. I was only able to perceive my reality through intuition, feeling and emotion.
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It is common during a mushroom trip, for time to lose all meaning for an individual. Many people on mushrooms (including myself) talk about time being perceived much more slowly or as infinite. This may also be explained by the idea that the left hemisphere shuts down when the individual is on mushrooms. Since the left hemisphere tends to be associated with sequential ordering of events/things, the individual may not be able to perceive time in a linear fashion as they are typically accustomed to doing.
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If I am correct in that the individual relies solely on right hemisphere processing when on mushrooms, the aspects associated with right hemisphere functioning would likely also be amplified. This is due to the fact that one of the brains normal filters (the left hemisphere) is removed. Removal of the left hemisphere filter may cause more information to be processed through the right hemisphere. As such, the individual would perceive their experience of reality through a heightened sense of feelings, emotion and intuition.
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Furthermore, when an individual is on psilocybin, I believe that they also take in more sensory data then they would naturally when not under the mushrooms influence. This is especially the case for visual data. This is because their eyes (specifically their pupils) dilate to an extreme. Increased pupil dilation means that increased amounts of photons reach the individuals retina, optic nerve and part of the brain that processes visual information. As such, the individual perceives their reality in high definition simply because they are taking in more visual data. In these moments, perhaps we can even see energy which always surrounds us but which we are typically unaware of? Perhaps we can also perceive photons bouncing off objects? This would explain why I perceived energy to be radiating from objects in my environment.
The Loss of Fear of Death
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As stated at the beginning of this article, a common experience for individuals on mushrooms appears to be a complete abandonment of their fear of death. I personally believe that this comes from the feeling of oneness that the individual experiences when on mushrooms. Since the left hemisphere functions turn off, the individual is unable to perceive their reality through words, logic and/or reasoning. As such, they are unable to separate themselves from their surroundings, which gives them a feeling of oneness with the universe. They are also unable to explain what is happening or what they are seeing so the individual perceives their experience as a mystery and like me, may label that mystery - “God.” If an individuals does not feel as though they are a separate thing/person but instead feels that they are part of the mystery’s oneness then they may also feel as though they are a part of God. If the individual feels that they are a part of god then there really is no reason to fear death.
Conclusion
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This explanation of what is happening in the brain when an individual is on mushrooms is of course very generalized and simplified. I am sure that there is much more taking place within a person’s mind and brain. For instance, I am sure that the left hemisphere of the brain does not shut off entirely but that some functions continue to operate. Similarly, it is possible that many of the functions of the right hemisphere also shut down. Individuals may also have different experiences while on mushrooms.
Nonetheless, I hope that my interpretation makes sense. If you disagree of have your own thoughts of what is taking place in the brain and mind when an individual consumes magic mushrooms, please feel free to share them with me in the comments.
dear @ leaky20
I read your article with great interest and will certainly read the previous ones too. In fact it is a very interesting and fascinating subject, even if the idea of proving them frightens me, I'm probably afraid of the unknown and losing control.
The description you make of that is very beautiful, without fear and without strange hallucinations, or rather an awareness of yourself and your union with the whole universe. And the contact with the primordial energy that everything creates, being part of God. But I wonder: if it's so simple, why don't we take those mushrooms every day and we're all happy? Why don't use them to break down our rational defenses and live with pure emotion? Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience, I hope others people write some comment about it!
Thanks @road2horizon I'm glad that you liked the article. Regarding your question - though I believe that it could be a good thing if everyone were to try mushrooms at some point in life at least once, I do not think that it would be good to take them every day. I dont think society would be held together if everyone was on a giant collective mushroom trip lol. I personally think that their benefit comes from getting a glimpse behind the curtain of normal reality. They remind us that we are part of something bigger, that the universe is made of love and to not take life too seriously. These things tend to be forgotten over time when the stress of our jobs, money, mortgages, taxes, families, and life in general, take precedence.
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I have been quite interested in mushroom recently and how it all works, I have read a little bit about it and now, I have a little bit in a clearer and a more simpler view of what really happens when one takes it. I have no plans of trying it out though but this was quite informative.
It is so cool to know that it actually helps people overcome their fear of death, maybe it someday will be a form of "therapy" to help people with extreme cases of fear of death? Well, it will be really cool. I do feel like people that have had near-death experiences to do overcome their fear of death to an extent (of course that doesn't mean that people should harm themselves to achieve that).
Over the years though, I think I have been able to overcome that little fear of death that I used to have (maybe not completely but to a really great extent), as I would like to say "I have made peace with death".
I think realizing that was what helped me deal with that fear.
I have heard/read that mushrooms have been used in therapy to help individuals with depression. I believe that there is some research being conducted on that as well. It is nice to hear that you found peace with the idea of death. I think many people come to that mindset on their own without the help of plants or other substances, which is great.
:)
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Oh, really? It's great to know that it's been used to help people, that probably will be a much better way to deal with depression since it is less addictive. Was there a high success rate?
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I dont recall the success rate with treating depression. It was a while ago that i saw the article and It wasnt something that I looked up but something I came across randomly. The results of the study didn't stick with me, I just recall - research on mushrooms and depression. Lol. For all I know, it wasnt effective at treating it - but those types of studies rarely get media attention or stand out in scientific journals either. Anyway, Sorry I dont have a better answer :/
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That's no problem! I guess that's another undiscovered "world". Lol! It would be great if theses research are often given a little bit more media attention, we never can tell where the gem is hiding....
I agree :)
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This is interesting to me on a couple of levels. I do not have a fear of death and lost it long ago. I have had many close calls for health emergencies, surgeries, and accidents. I have woken up many times to people yelling at me that I almost died, or they thought I was dead, or that I should be dead.
After many years of this - I gave up ever worrying about death. When it comes, it comes. I was supposed to be dead before 21 with one of my health conditions and I am 59 now, so thank God I did not worry about it all this time.
I have also taken the left brain vs right brain tests on several occasions when I saw them online. I always chart at 90% right brain and sometimes 100%. I always thought that was odd since I am an accountant, but it never fails. Apparently I have no left brain.
And finally, I am a mom, and when my son and his friends were in their late teens early 20's "shrooms" were a thing they did fairly often. They would hang out at my house for this sometimes since I was the "cool mom."
10 boys with big grins on their faces talking a mile a minute about the meaning of life is what I remember of that.
Wow. It sounds like you have had some pretty intense and significant brushes with death. It makes sense that you have relinquished all fear of death. Sounds like you are a survivor and very resilient :)
I'm not familiar with the tests that you are referring to so I cant really comment on how accurate they are but that is interesting that you score so high on the right brain. Seems almost contradictory to you being an accountant, as you suggested. But then again the brain is a very complex organ that's not fully understood at this point in time. So who knows
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You can find them online. "Are you a right brain or left brain thinker?" It's normally 10- 50 questions and then the answer pops up. I thought for sure I would be left brain all the way. I'm left handed and my right hand is almost useless for most tasks lol.
I keep going no matter what, that's for sure. If I gave up every time people told me to, I would be nowhere. I have had a lot of trauma, and at some point I noticed people want to yell at you when you "almost died" like its your fault.
Note - I have never seen one thing in any of these experiences - no tunnels, no light, no floating out of my body - nothing. Does that mean I have actually never been close to death?
I'm very glad I saw your post - It's got me thinking :)
Hi leaky20,
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A truly interesting text and approach that you present here. Beautifully written and the unpretentious thing about it is so warming. Unfortunately, I have no fresh memories of Psylocybin and don't know how to name the dose I took at the time. It was, I think, quite little and possible that therefore our experiences differ.
What I see in common is the intensified view of things, a glow and an intensity in the colours, as if the matter was wafting and shining. Interesting how you describe your thoughtlessness and the inability to even formulate thoughts in the mind. Unfortunately I don't know if I felt the same. I strongly remember the feeling that I was unable or unwilling to lie or pretend. I said what just came to mind spontaneously and one last splinter of inhibition in the back of my head wanted to warn me to wear my heart on my tongue too much. But it didn't bother me, I was infested with an irrepressible humour as well as a deep seriousness, and sometimes I completely lost control of my body. To say I hit the ground without any attempt to intercept myself. I can't remember the impact, but a vague memory of the falling itself. ....
I suppose the dose might have been a little higher as I now think again of this experience, since I had never lost body control in this form before or after.
Basically, the experience is inexplicable ... . I have no words for it. But it was a deep experience, nothing to compare with and I didn't find it frightening, but rather refreshing and unique. I can't confirm that it took away my fear of death, but people are very different in spirit.
I am rather of the opinion that I try to meet death through practical experiences or that I am of the notion that one never loses the fear of it completely and can only look at the habit that one accompanies dying people or often sees dead people. Unfortunately, there is no mortuary cult anymore in this country, we lock the topic in a septic bottle.
... From the Buddhists I hear that one doesn't have to block oneself against this fear and accepts that dying is something frightening. This is to make it easier.
After all, we are afraid to walk over a narrow ridge when there is a deep gorge below us and it would be unusual not to have anxiety. The fact that we do not block fear, but accept it, it is said, would then soften it, or the practical exercises and contemplation on the subject "death" would soften it.
Thanks for giving space to also share.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I always enjoy hearing about others mushroom experiences. I agree that not everyone will have the same experience. I think that there will likely be commonalities but each individual is unique so naturally each experience will be unique to that person. I think that mindset, setting and dose (among other things) also plays a large role. "Inexplicable" and "no words" are a good way to describe it. I also agree that having some fear of death can be helpful if it is rational - it keeps us safe and alive and helps us avoid risks etc. Thanks again for the thorough and well thought out comment :)
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