Love Is Painted Blind "*-* Blind Love *-*"
Love is a feeling that we all experience at some time. We all have different ways of loving, because each one expresses himself in a different way with the person he loves. Thus, there are different forms of love: love of a couple, love of a brother, love of a son, love of parents, a family member, love of friends, love for what we do ... And each of these loves can be a blind love.
Now, sometimes we can have a boundless love, in which we make the other person a flawless being, whom we deeply admire. We marvel at everything he does, and he becomes a must in our lives. Then, without this person we might feel that we would not be anyone.
So, sometimes we can love a person so much that we are not able to see what he really is like. What we do is create a kind of distorted reflection in our mind. It is about blind love, a love in which we can get to idealize the person we love and give everything for her, forgetting about us. Here we tell you how that love can be, we will focus on the blind love of relationships.
"Love is painted blind and with wings. Blind to not see the obstacles and with wings to save them. "
-Jacinto Benavente-
Blind love: when we idealize the person we love
Sometimes we do not see what the person we are with is really like. This blindness can be the product of idealization: we believe that the person we love is perfect and we could even stop seeing "his human side". We exaggerate its qualities, ceasing to value ours, to be able to say that it is perfect. We feel good because we are before someone incredible and often unattainable.
Sigmund Freud proposes that idealization consists in overestimating someone, either consciously or unconsciously. In addition, idealization is a defense mechanism, that is, a form that we use to appease what ails us. Then we give a lot of value to the other person, to mitigate our anguish.
Through this defense mechanism we cover a part of our needs, we stop feeling alone or unmotivated because we see the other person as a complement. And, that love fills all that we needed. We can have that love of a couple or not, idealization does not have to do with being physically next to someone, but with how we overestimate the lover.
Blind love, love at all costs
The idealization of the other, together with a devaluation of one's own, makes many people give too much in their relationships. This delivery without measure can end up overwhelming the other or, when there is a wolf in sheep's clothing, facilitating his evil plan.
When we give everything we have to others, placing us in the last place in the hierarchy, we are completely unprotected. If we have good luck, nothing will happen to us, but if we run into someone with no noble interests, we can have a very bad time. We do not worry about what we are and what we want to be and do, because we live for the other. Even if the person has interests different from ours, we leave aside what we want and do everything the person says or wants.
When I love you more than me
This type of love could be summarized in the phrase: "For me you are more important than me". In other words, when the beloved person is prime, an imbalance occurs. The characteristics that could arise as a consequence of this situation are the following:
- Forget what we are.
- Allow the other to pass over us.
- Make our self-esteem decrease
- Not knowing what to do if the other person is not there.
- Live the life of the other.
All this can happen when we put the other above us. On the other hand, often putting this over is not a conscious decision, not even an interest. In many cases it is that the other person does not know how to say no to the requests of the other that he can not assume. Either because it is very large, because they are very frequent requests or because they do not have the necessary resources to respond adequately.
I'm in love with love
There can also be a blind love when we are in love with love. What does this mean? When we have an idea in our heads that love is the most wonderful thing that can exist. And, we want to have love regardless of the answers to the most important questions. How? With whom? Under what circumstances?
When we fall in love with love, we may not really care what person is at our side. It does not matter, no matter how it is because we will be responsible for generating a superimposed image that fits with what we really want. In other words, we look for a relationship at all costs because we believe that this is the way to find love and have that which we long for.
We are so busy fulfilling our expectations of what we dream of love that we fail to know each other. We went on to imagine, and what we imagine is fantastic. The fact of relating to that fantasy often ends up feeding the fantasy itself. Until the point where the bubble breaks and we open our eyes, between bewildered and hurt.
In this case we do not idealize the person, we idealize the love. We have a great enthusiasm for doing things in love, to the point that our self-esteem is implied. Thus, indirectly, the search for love in these cases, under this umbrella of thought, is a logical response to preserve or improve the image we have of ourselves.
Now, when we stop seeing the other person, we could lose the opportunity to have an authentic relationship. So, we concentrate so much on our idea of
love, that we do not see what the other wants and we do not let ourselves be surprised by every moment, by living the present moment. Thus, we exalt the infatuation, we forget the other and ourselves. What matters to us is to fulfill that magical love, as comfortable as it is dangerous because it lacks reality.
Love without becoming blind
All love is not blind. So, some ideas to love without blindfolds in the eyes would be:
- Have a deeper connection with you. It is about dedicating resources that take care of your focus and your internal dialogue. In this way you will not forget that you are important and unique to the people who love you. In this way, you can really love someone and not a surface on which your imagination draws on a whim.
- Set limits It consists of being clear about what you want and showing it to your partner. It's about being assertive.
- It is important to know that in the other there are both qualities and defects. Do not dehumanize your partner, as everyone has bad things and good things.
- Do not go beyond your possibilities. Give what you can without passing over you. Loving another person does not mean sacrificing everything.
- Leaving your life behind should not be an option. It is possible to love and not neglect yourself.
- Cultivate yourself to have something to offer to the other. When you love yourself and know yourself, you can empower the best of you. So, indirectly, for the other you can also be better.
Love does not make us blind, we can become blind with love. In other words, it depends on us to put on a bandage and omit a good part of what happens around the relationship, of the person and of us. Then we are the ones who can turn the matter around. To know if you have a blind love, connect with yourself and be honest, in you is the answer.
"Love does not hurt anyone, if you feel that you have been hurt by love, it is something different inside you that has been hurt, and not your loving quality".
-Osho-
Amen! i like this a lot ♡ thanks for sharing the love!
Love is strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.
I hear that love is blind and in my opinion love must should be blind
because when we feel some awesome, lovely feeling for someone
then should forget him/her mistake.Only love him/her.
Love is great feeling.
Thanks for great post.