A Lagos Bus Conductor

Do I even need to describe a typical Lagos bus conductor? Okay, I will do so just for the sake of my foreign friends and other Nigerians who have never been to Lagos. Also, I will do so for those persons who have actually been to Lagos but did not have the privilege of boarding any of the yellow Lagos buses:

A Lagos bus conductor is usually a young man between the age bracket of 17 to 35. He works all day long, wearing a pair of bathroom slippers, a dirty white singlet, and a small towel round his neck. However, you may be stunned on a few occasion when you see him wearing the latest designer shirt in town.

On the average, a Lagos bus conductor has at least a missing tooth. The missing tooth is usually lost to either street riots or some other kind of violence or police brutality. A Lagos bus conductor reminds you of Jet Li; he hangs firmly to the door of the moving yellow bus. He doesn't tolerate nonsense and he is ready to punch Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali at the slightest provocation.

However, that doesn't mean that all Lagos bus conductors are belligerent. Let me quickly warn you, peradventure your fare isn't complete please inform a Lagos bus conductor before you hop into his bus; otherwise, you may have the devil to pay. And don't forget, also, to shout the Yoruba word Owa on top of your voice when you get to your bus stop.

A Lagos bus conductor doesn’t have the latest version of the English dictionary in his house, but he knows the latest slang to hit the street. And let me warn you again, don't try to engage a Lagos bus conductor in a drinking competition. This is because he drinks like a fish and smokes like a chimney. His genre of liquor is a mixture that you cannot fathom its chemistry.

A Lagos bus conductor may not know anything about auto mechanics, but he surely understands what every sound that comes from the engine of his bus signals. He knows nothing about geography but he has mastered his routes and the roads to the extent that he knows where even the smallest pot hole on the road lies. He knows nothing about strategic studies but he surely knows the peak and off peak hours in every business day.

The fact that the Lagos bus conductor knows the aforementioned things means that his brain has the potential to actually understand Auto Mechanics, Geography and Strategic studies. In addition, the fact that you cannot outsmart a Lagos bus conductor when it comes to the amount of change he owes you means that his brain has the potential to understand Mathematics and Accounting.

A Lagos bus conductor deals with people daily on his bus; this means he can understand Sociology and Industrial Relations. A Lagos bus conductor knows the names of the President, the Governors, Head of unions, state capitals, Senate president and even the first lady of the country; this means that his brain can understand Political Science. All I'm trying to say is that those bus conductors you see around can understand every field of knowledge they need to survive in their business.

The story of the bus conductor highlights the fact that the human brain is intricate and adaptive. Because you were privileged to pass through a university doesn't mean you have a smarter brain than those who have not passed through the system. This reminds me of the story of the fisherman who knew nothing about any field of education, but he surely knew how to swim and catch fishes.

I will now drop my pen in grief because no Lagos bus conductor will read this post.

Image sources

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The Tale of the two goats

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Don't forget to upvote/resteem this post if you found it interesting. I would also like to read your comments about the bus conductors, if any, in your country. Thanks for your time. You may follow @majes.tytyty if you love good photography and want to improve on your vocabulary. Want to be inspired? Follow @steem-lagos and @stach.