This is no real needlework post - ranting about health, grief and crafting

in needleworkmonday •  3 months ago  (edited)

This is no real #needleworkmonday post, more an update, whining and excuse… (something about knitting is at the very end of the post… hop downwards to avoid my whiny ranting)

Kopie von titel pinterest blog(4).png


This post rant is an excuse/explanation why I am not writing concise or funny today and for sometimes commenting belated or much too short (so many great needlework post... I so want to engage much more). And for evoking the appearance in my Frankencoinster post that I am tough because I can crochet with migraines, which I can’t (I only crochet or knit in the beginning stage of migraine). I feel like explaining it a bit:

You see me smiling and posing my newest knitting, crochet or sewing project. Yesterday you saw me dancing … But the reality right now is neither funny nor productive. I made the dance film last weekend because on Sunday I had a rare day completely without headache. I used it, I used I in a way for which I had to pay the next day. I am still glad I made the film (mostly because I loooove the paper installation from Silvia Müller and Knut Lenkewitz), but the physical cost were high.

Kopie von Kopie von Soziale Medien – Design ohne Titel(5).png


You see me smiling and posing my newest knitting, crochet or sewing project…. But I am often are very sad. Some weeks ago, one of my oldest friends died and I still miss her very much. I can hardly bear it to think of her. The rest of the day I am mostly sitting at the hospital or helping my mother, and if time is left I have migraines (or so it feels). Not so funny.

Kopie von Kopie von 1800px × 768px – Design ohne Titel(2).png


I for example went on Thursday with my husband to a city festival. Sun was up. Houses were picturesque, and I made nice photos. Not visible on the photos is, that I had headaches and we had to go home without sitting down or eating anything. You also cannot see my bad conscience for depriving my husband of a bit of fun on a free day (he is super lovely and sympathetic … Its only my angst, that I disappoint others by not being fit).

old neckline(6).png


Back home I try to avoid taking pain medication (yeahhh, frightened for taking too often pain medication) and so I sit at the open window, knit or crochet something simple and hope the headaches will subside. Which they seldom do. But in this way a Frankencoinster comes into being (and many of my easy top-down stockinette cardigans)

Kopie von Kopie von Soziale Medien – Design ohne Titel(6).png


I am writing this not to claim your pity, but to again show how deceiving appearances, photos and social media can be. I write this so that you don’t feel alone if you are grieving, hurting or simply have a row of bad days.
I am also writing this, so that you don’t feel bad if you were too groggily to crochet one row or too unfocused to sew a seam or too sad to knit.

Kopie von 1800px × 768px – Design ohne Titel(10).png


Just because its Monday: here is my newest knitting project. A top-down cardigan in thick tweed wool in a for me amazing and cheery colour. I try to emulate the Frankie pattern form Pompom mag, which I cannot buy around here. I started the cardigan several times (as you can see on the photos above), but every time the neckline was not to my liking. The originally pattern shows an open front and I guess this also affects the neckline. I however want a cardigan which will close at the fronts and so my neckline was too small and too stiff.
This fourth attempted will hopefully become a whole cardigan :-DD
But I will write more about this cardigan in the next weeks.


Sending everyone love and hugs who needs them right now....


Thank you @crosheille for initiating and @muscara, @shanibeer, @marblely for hosting the #needleworkmonday. If you want to see more beautiful projects with yarn, fabric and most of all needles, follow @needleworkmonday. Or even better grab your needles and keyboard and join the #needleworkmonday community.


needleworkmonday.png


Want to see more_Follow me neumannsalvaor visithttp___neumannsalva.de_(1).png

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

💗
Good of you to post. There are weeks, months. and years when simply continuing is about all any one can do. Actually having a life outside of pain is hard enough. But when you know it will hurt later and do it anyway... THAT is living.

The pink tweed is lovely! And there are decent migraine meds available which don't lobotomize users. You might have some luck with some of the newer meds that have come out. I find that taking 2 Ibuprofen and going somewhere dark as soon as I start seeing shadows and stars will sometimes short circuit the incoming days of pain. Your mileage may vary.
Hug

I have read about these new antibody meds for migraine, but I don’t qualify for them. Possibly in some years, when they are cheaper, this could be a try. And with other prophylactic meds I don‘t have good experiences. I am like you, I mostly take naproxen or Ibuprofen + bed. This does not stop the migraine, but makes it bearable and sometimes prevents, that I have them for days. My problem is the decision when to wait and when to take the ibuprofen (because of the 10/month rule) and often I wait too long and they don’t help at all (and my doctor wants me to switch between ibuprofen and aspirin, but the latter does not help so much)
And thank you so much for your supportive and sympathetic comment. I guess, I am a bit tired/angry of being in this ‚hold‘ position. Of not being able to work and for having multiple fronts (one of them being my whiny self) to fight. On the other hand I do not want to contribute to this ‚all is beautiful‘ culture of Instagram or facebook. I know that I also choose photos of me, on which I look (in my eyes) ok, or write funny things and that I brag with my accomplishments... but this should not be the only thing I present to friends and readers... argh ... ranting again 😂😂😂
So, I better stop with: Thank you 😍💕🌈

I have never heard of a 10 Ibuprofen per month rule, that bites! I try to only use it when needed but 2-3 per day was acceptable to my DR when I screwed up my neck a few years ago.
You are welcome! hug

If you use Ibuprofen or similar meds regularly (over months and years) you get overuse headache if you take it on more then 10 day per month. For triptane only 6 days per month. And it will loose its ability to alleviate the migraines.
The daily dosage is not relevant for this overuse problem (strangely...)
But this is only relevant for longtime use and mostly for migraine/ tension headache etc. I think the approach for rheumatic pain may be different.

Interesting, I had never heard that. Will have to look into it!

Thank you for writing this. Pictures don’t always tell the whole story and sometimes we just never know what someone is really facing. Sending thoughts of love for your dad and your family.

That’s the joy of family and especially of having a loving, caring and supportive spouse. I’m sure your needs are more important to him than having fun. I understand how you might feel that way but don’t beat yourself up about it. You don’t invite those migraines they invade your life. I too do not like taking a lot of medication. I’m hoping for a miracle for you, that these migraines will cease permanently and you can have your life back.

I love the color of that yarn, it’s going to be such a bright and pretty cardigan. I love the style of the Frankie pattern.

💗

Thank you so much for your supporting and lovely words. And naturally you are right, that my family is more accepting of these 💩💩 migraines than I... Nevertheless, I am not good in accepting, but very good at being angry at myself (which I know is helping nobody... a dilemma)
I hope with my post to show a bit more of my ‚reality‘ not only a polished image.
And with the yarn: yeeeeees I saw it and I loved it. It’s (as always) from this Netherlands bargain shop. THey have four varieties of this tweed yarn and I have used them for several projects. The yarn is a nice mixture of wool and acrylic and not expensive. Sadly this pink colour is not in the shop anymore. I hope it will come back in winter.

Of course! It’s nice to share the “real” sometimes and let others know what’s really going on. That’s how I’ve always been, I love to share the fun side but there’s a time to get real and reveal the not so fun times. We all face them, why not be supportive of one another? 😉

A person's public face is not always the same as their private face. I think this happens a lot more than most people realize.
Thank you for sharing, and I think the occasional bits of other colors in the cardigan yarn is cool.

Thank you for your support. When browsing social media I often forget, that people mostly show their best and I find it comforting to read more about the real life struggles (or wins) and from time to time I also get afraid that I send the wrong (brightened) message with my posts.
And the yarn - sigh - yes... I am in love. The little blue and yellow dots are so cute and although I unravelled several times, they stay in the yarn 💕😍🌈

You are brave and beautiful and gifted. You are also in my prayers. I have friends with chronic pain and understand how hard you fight for those precious days of normal.

Posted using Partiko Android

Thank you so much for your support!!! It means a lot. I send you all the love back 💕🌈

Hard to keep going sometimes :)
I listened to a play on the radio the other day which ended with a conversation about the gentle powers. The play, Westwood, is in two parts:
Challis Charm and
Disillusionment
You might enjoy it, it's old-fashioned and very English. If you just want to hear about the gentle powers, listen to the end of the second part. It comforts me each time I hear it.

Ohhh thank you for the link. I didn’t know this play and I always love to discover new things I would not have found on myself. Sadly BBC (or my internet) seems to have some issues, because the play will not load, but I will retry later.
I hope you (and your loved ones) are ok right now and I send you hugs!
By the way... after your last #needleworkmonday post I want to make a wide skirt with pockets.... I am easily convinced of skirts :-D

I hope you enjoy it. I am never sure whether radio and tv programmes are accessible outside the UK.
We are all well and enjoying a very hot day. I am thinking about making loose cotton trousers to wear :)

I hope you will share your trousers experiment (although I am still very interested in the gypsum skirt and how it works out and if you like the fit on you....)

Hello!

This post has been manually curated, resteemed
and gifted with some virtually delicious cake
from the @helpiecake curation team!

Much love to you from all of us at @helpie!
Keep up the great work!


helpiecake

raw beauty contains both good and bad. Thank you.

Thanks for sharing your struggles @neumannsalva
For me it's always inspiring to see people like you, who just get on with things despite their unpleasant circumstances. I know, you say you don't feel that way, but looking from the outside, your willingness to be playful and happy in those pain-free moments is a huge on-going achievement.
Sending you my thoughts and prayers :)
I always look forward to reading your fun and thoughtful posts :DDD

Thank you so much for being so supportive and sympathetic. As written above I sometimes feel like a fraud with all my funny posts and curated photos. I don’t want to contribute to media pressure. I want to try (as far this is on a social media possible) to be honest, so that nobody has to feel bad for having pain, or being sad or not being able to accomplish things which society deems worthy.
I am so happy to have met you here. I love your projects and your artfulness (and your love of soft pink hues 😊) and that you are also honest about how long projects need and that there could be obstacles.
Thank you for being here ❤️🌈💕

Thank you too @neumannsalva for your willingness to share the challenges you face. :-) You are so so right, there's so much artificial happiness and fake good looks on social media, that it's really refreshing to meet someone who says it as it is :-) Thanks for being so open and for your friendship that makes me smile and think.

And you are right - soft pink hues are the best, there's no argument about that. And if someone says otherwise, I'll vote them DOWN :-DDDDDD and report to steemit police :DDDD

votogif.gif

THank you so much for taking time to read my post and luck is always welcomed 🌈🌈