Steps of Healing # 2: I Will Rise From The Ashes

It has become a cliché to reference the mythological Phoenix as a means of invoking hopeful rejuvenation.

We seem to slap the inspiring image of the fiery bird on all kinds of situations. From tumultuous emotional times, to getting over a less-then-ideal midterm exam.

And listen, I'm not demeaning how you use this phrase and your triumphs. I bet that you will rise from the cigarette ashes of last night’s bender, so you do you baby. Don't let me separate you from the inspiration you need to get your hungover-self out of that stranger's living room.

For me, rising up from the destructive reality of unchecked flame is a deeply personal idea. My city has even embroidered the notion onto itself.

The Detroit Seal, which is also the center of the Detroit Flag, reads in latin: Speramus Meliora; Resurgent Cineribus.
In English, that translates to:

We hope for better things; It will rise from the ashes.

As the artwork and inscription imply, Detroit suffered a sweeping fire early in its history.

During the early hours of a mid-summer day in 1805, a fire broke out in the French-settlement-turned-American-city. Detroit sits right on a pretty major river. Well, it is also technically a strait because it connects Lake St. Clair and Lake Erie. The original French settlers actually named it Rivière du Détroit, which means River of the Strait. But that is neither here nor there.

Not having a Fire Department, the 600 or so Detroiters starting drawing water from the river with buckets. Literally like you see in cartoons.

Unfortunately, the Bucket Brigade was unsuccessful in saving the wood city. Every structure, short of a stone fort, was leveled.
The flag shoes two women. One weeping over the loss of the city, the other looking forward to what shall replace it.

You may be thinking

That’s nice and all, but you said there was a personal connection. Who cares if your city burned down 200 years ago?

Thanks for asking!

Last week, I wrote a post about my symbol for hope and healing and how that relates to some of my struggles.

Spoiler Alert

I deal with physical self-half behaviors and have for quite some time. For me, that sometimes means intentionally burning my skin. I hit a low three years ago and came to the edge of myself (more about that in future posts). It took some time to come out of that spin. It took even longer to feel like I had started to build something new that was stronger than what existed before.

But prior to actually seeing the improvement, I had hope for things not yet seen.

That was a turning point for me. I haven’t lived most of my life with a strong hope for anything. It has been shaky at times these past 3 years, but I am indebted to that hope.

About a year after my bottom, I got this:

There are some small details that are intentional, but beyond those, my tattoo carries three main meanings.

1. The Words
You may have noticed that the phrase is the same as the one mentioned earlier: “Speramus Meliora; Resurget Cineribus.” We hope for better things; it will rise from the ashes. It was true for my city in 1805 and it became true for my life two thousand and ten years later in 2015. The hope continues to unfold into reality.

2. The Color
This is a water color tattoo designed to resemble a splatter and drip. On top of being gorgeous and one of my favorite styles of tattoo, it says something about my pain. I was confronted with the idea of beauty in struggle and have started to see pain as more than an uncomfortable or negative experience. It’s not fun, for sure. But it does often produce something deeply unique and stunningly beautiful.

3. The Semi-colon
I did not come up with the meaning behind a semi-colon tattoo, but I really connected with it. In my despair, I stopped wanting to live. I wanted my life’s story to come to an end. I wanted a period.

A semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.

This reminds me every time I see it that I chose life and that life is worth choosing.

I continue to hope for better things while also embracing the entirety of my story.

Be blessed,
~Sam

Image Sources: Phoenix, Detroit Seal, Bucket Brigade, Detroit Flag

Recent Posts:
You've Become My Safe Space—Original Poetry
How Do You Know My Name?—Original Poetry
Sunday Soul Tap #2: Change is Weird
Steps of Healing #1: My Symbol

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