Sunday Soul Tap #2: Change is Weird

Sometimes change is spontaneous, unexpected, and quick. Other times, it is planned and drawn-out.

I generally have an adaptive personality and always thought I handled change well.

But I really don’t.

I don’t handle unexpected change well. The reason I thought I did is because I am a people pleaser. This overwhelming impulse has often moved me along to comply with changes with apparent pleasure. All the while, I will experience building anxiety that finds unhealthy outlets at later times.

And the more that I think about it, I am not so sure that I handle planned changes in a healthy way either.

I have always been impressed by my wife’s ability to maintain friendships over decades+ and through all kinds of life-situation changes. For example, we recently attended a birthday party for a friend of hers and the core group is 6 girls who met almost 20 years ago in 6th grade. That’s pretty cool if you ask me and it is something I cannot really relate to.

For better or for worse, my past is often dead to me

I think it has something to do with my dissociative tendencies, but when it is time to move onto to the next thing, I don’t look back. To be honest, it makes me sad to realize that my best friends often become afterthoughts.

In Henri Nouwen’s book Can You Drink The Cup?, he explores the idea of truly embracing your entire life.

He asks,

Can you lift up the cup of your life, with the joy, the sorrow, the pain, and the victories, affirm that this is your story, and commit to drinking it to the dregs?

There is something very important about living in the present, but I think we miss the point of that if we deny our past or try to cut ourselves off from our own story.

I will be working on my anxiety response to spontaneity—especially since my bride often flies by the seat of her pants. But, it is my response to this latter change that I think has a more lasting negative impact.

I want to not lose part of who I am every time that I enter a new stage in life.

I want to hear from you.
How do you react to different kinds of changes? How does this effect your spirit?

Be Blessed,
Sam

Image Source: Change.

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