I'm gonna get there: defeating negative self-talk
Self-portrait by my 5-year-old son (could anything be cuter?!?)
Someone pointed out to me the other day that I seem to be extremely hard on myself, like pretty high on the scale of being hard on oneself compared to most people - OK, so that someone was my therapist...
My reply? "Well, at least I'm good at something!" I know, it's "funny," but only in a painfully awkward, self-deprecating kind of way. My therapist said she should write it down, probably as one of the most pitiful things anyone has ever said in the history of therapy.
But maybe this is some kind of wake up call, a rock-bottom moment in the self-love, self-confidence, self-compassion department. I can only go up from here, folks!
The above portrait my son did of himself with our house in the background is one of my favorite things ever. Just look at his smiley face, his windblown hair, his bright blue eyes, and his adorable little rainbow body! He is such a happy little goofball, so sunny, so positive, so innocent and sweet and this picture is perfectly emblematic of his personality. He has his moments of anxiety - when I worry he might be following in my uptight, high-strung footsteps, but overall, he is carefree and sure of himself and his value in our family and in the world. He is who he is, period. He doesn't second guess himself at his age. I need to take lessons from him.
I spend a lot of time wondering how to overcome the voice in my head telling me I'm a bad or mean person because I had a bad or mean or negative thought. Mindfulness helps with exterior worries, but it has not yet pierced the armor of my seemingly impenetrable self-loathing. But a fellow steemian, @clayboyn, replied encouragingly to my comment on his post about getting unstuck by saying, "You'll get there, just know it's possible and that's where you're going." Thanks, Clayboyn. I'm going to remember that.
It's possible. It's possible. It's possible.
That's where I'm going - to a place where my thoughts are just thoughts, passing like clouds, and they don't block out the sun. They don't determine who I am as a person or how I feel about myself.
I'll get there, with practice.
How do you vanquish negative self talk - I need all the help I can get!
Thanks!
This post has been resteemed from MSP3K courtesy of @clayboyn from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ).
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It's the truth that I believe, and just remembering how my inner monologue used to sound on a daily basis and all of the endless cycling negative thoughts that used to weigh me down, I truly hope you believe that it is possible to work through them. Once we can believe that and accept it in our mind, everything else along the way is just progress until we get to that point. I wont lie and say I never have negative thoughts anymore, but through mindfulness and self acceptance and a lot of meditation, I got my life back to a state that I feel it's worth living and I'm at peace with myself. Don't focus on every set back and try to focus on the fact that you are trying at all. That counts and has value. That's all I could ever truly wish for anyone is to find peace within themselves. Namaste.
Namaste. Thank you!
I found mental Silence to be very powerful. Actively shutting down any thoughts, because it is here that we experience Peace, if only for a moment. Our thoughts draw power from being thought ( (sounds funny, doesn't it ;))
But the more we think a thought the heavier it gets and exhaust us. We need to unplug it. Thinking is an act of Separation, the source of all worry and doubt. By exercising mental silence we reconnect with our Heart, and hence gradually start having more peaceful and harmonious thoughts again.
Our mind is quite chattery, so it might take a bit, but the more we practise it, the better the results. I hope this helps! :)
Thanks for sharing this with me @Clayborn! This is definitely going in my @unityguild Curation post tonight ♥
Big hugs and lots of love @orangina! I like to say I have the answers on how to banish negative self talk, the best I can do is tell you my negative self talk goes through a filter. "Do I need this information right now? Nope, what am I doing? Oh yeah, the laundry!" Lol! I keep as many mental tattoos as possible.
"Fall down 7 times, stand up 8."
"This too shall pass"
"Energy flows where the mind goes."
Thanks for sharing with us! My son is 6 and loves to draw as well! Your son is a talented little artist! Keep drawing little man! I know when my son draws for me it makes my day ♥
Those are some good ones! You call them mental tattoos? That's perfect! Thanks for reading :-)
I listened to both Earl Nightingale and Alan Watts, their perspective has been holding me togeather during my dark nights. (I have trapped myself in relationship hell) They posit in different ways that unless these thoughts contribute to overall improvement in one's self they can pass by like waves in the ocean.
In meditation they teach not to stop these thoughts but to observe them as if from outside ones Perception of self. Since Alan Watts says there is no separation of self from the world, everything is connected by the fabric of space and time there is no separation but what we create in our own mind's eye.
Keep on SteemingOn
I hope you can free yourself from your bad relationship (if that is what you want/need to do)!
Thank you for your thought, I will be moving out and flying away at the end of February. Far to long the way the way yesterday went, we are strong we will survive.
Be The Whole, Experience One.
I have always liked the quote “ There are always flowers for those you want to see them” by Matise’ the painter! By changing the way we talk we train our brains to start finding the good in everything. People believed in me , i believe in you
Much love,
Jitterbugg
I love Matisse and that is a lovely quote!
Is one of the greatest thing in life to defeat negative self-talk..
That’s a great question. I always find myself dwelling on things i do. It’s something i really need to work on myself. One thing i always find that the next day all the negative stuff in my thoughts the nite before usually disappear.
@orangina, I love the picture your son drew! I believe we have a lot to learn from children ;). I, too, had to fight depressing thoughts a few years ago. I had them for no reason whatsoever! Just when everything seemed perfect, FEAR tiptoed into my subconscious- and oh mine! I was afraid of my own shadow, not even talking about the crippling fear for the future of my kids. Meditation saved me. I have to meditate 2-4 times a day (short 5–10 min guided meditations) to keep myself balanced. I also listened to a lot of Alan Watts. A lot! :) We can do it together! We’ll get there :)
Thank you! I will tell my son his art is getting noticed! :-)
Isn't it wild the things we can worry about, like you said, for no reason!?! It is infuriating and yet, there it is. I don't usually think to bust out the guided meditation during the day, but if needed I will come up with some phrases to repeat to myself until I calm down or get distracted. But with perseverance, we will get there! Courage to you!
I seriously struggle with every day. Thanks for sharing - I'm glad of the reminders that I'm not alone in this. Thank you again! :)
Me too! But I've been told we can reprogram our brains so I'm going to believe it. Fake it till you make it! :-)
Yup! Have you heard of the book, "The Brain that Changes Itself"? If not, you check it out. :)
ooh - no - I've never heard of it, but I will definitely check it out. My brain needs a little tweaking for sure :-)