Communication in marriage.

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Speaking the truth in love to one another makes us grow up in our relationship with God. Similarly, the truth in love to each other as married people makes us grow closer to each other.

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.

            Ephesians 4:15

Speak

Husband and wife must always make the effort to speak to each other (the children in turn leant this). A clear sign of unhappiness is when the couple are very quiet at home but immediately a visitor arrives, they begin to talk. They however, revert to silence when the visitor leaves.

• Communication results in growth.

• Speaking brings relief and healing.

I said, I will also my part, I also will show mine opinion. For I am full of matter, the spirit within me contraineth me. Behold, my belly is as wine which hath no vent; it is ready to burst like new bottles. I will speak, that I may be refreshed; I will open my lips and answer.

             Job 32:17-20

• Choose to speak.

Death and life are in power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

             Proverb 18:20

a) Speak good things about your spouse, e.g. "I love you", "you're wonderful ", "you look sweet", "your food was good", "you look charming".

b) Confess positive things about your marriage.

c) Express your love to each other verbally.

d) Speak about things you do /do not like.

c) Speak to edify.

Speak the truth

• Speak the truth, and be transparent to each other.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

            Genesis 2:25

• If we are allowed to think about these things, then we can say them

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, what so ever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

           Philippians 4:8

• Do not pretend The truth will show up later, but it may too late.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

          Ephesians 4:29

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

         Colossians 4:6

Speak the truth in Love

• Speak the truth by all means, but speak in love.

This meas:

a) Be careful how you communicate what you have to say.

b) Be careful when you communicate what you have to say.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in picture of silver.

         Proverbs 25:11

A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season.

        Proverb 15:23

• Don't be carried away by your emotional distress.

I said, I will also my part, I also wish show my opinion. For I am full of matter, the spirit within me constraineth me Behold my belly is as wine which hath no vent; it is ready to burst like new bottles. I will speak, that I may be refreshed: I will open my lips and answer.

           Job 32:17-20

Avoid these things

• Shouting >

• Insulting

• Argue to win

• Always bursting into tears

• Doing all the talking without listening to the other side.

• Always keep quiet and refuse to communicate.

• *Avoid words like "never and always which confer a permanent negative verdict on the person. Some examples are :

I. You are always late.

II. You are never there when I need you.

III. You never do anything right.

Some examples of things not to say

• I will slap you.

• I will divorce you.

• You are hopeless.

• You are useless.

• I blame myself for marrying you.

• You can go to hell.

• You call yourself a man.

• I hate you.

• Can't you be like Mr. A or madam B?

• You are ugly, you are witch.

• This marriage will not last.

• I don't think we are meant for each other.

• Prostitute!

• Bitch!

• If you misbehave, I'll leave you.

• I don't love you anymore.

Other ways of communicating

a) Giving gifts/presents.

b) Touching and kissing.

c) Writing of notes/letters etc.

d) Signs and gestures.

e) Singing (Indirectly conveying a message in song - this can be good or bad; always choose the good).

      Reference : Dag Heward 

Thank you for having the time to read.

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Join me next on eighth series.