Marriage redefined series 2 (Godly relationship)

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This is the second series of the Marriage redefined course which will be centered on how the Church should officially recognize relationship(Godly relationship)

If you miss the first series, please click here!

Every church should have a register in which is recorded pertinent details of its members who are intending to get married. This serves as the official recognition of the relationship by the Church, and should be done at least six months prior the intending marriage.

Reasons a relationship should be registered

• To ascertain if some people are married already.

Some couples may already have children from the current or past relationship. In some cultures, it is customary to have what is known as a traditional ceremony. It is important to know if the couple have performed the said rite or not. Any such ceremony, tradition or rite be brought to light. Failure to disclose such information may lead to termination of such relationship

• To ensure that all relationships are not hidden

It is imperative that all relationships be open before God, the pastor and the church congregation. Carrying out the relationship openly also helps to promote a healthy and wholesome relationship.

• To get to know the couple better.

By registering the couple, you will learn about them in a more personal manner:

• You can better assess their spiritual commitment.

• Confirm any past relationships.

• Confirm whether present relationship is smooth or stormy.

• Ascertain if any incidence(s) of fornication both psst and present.

• Know how soon they intend to marry. Unduly long relationships are not encouraged.

Sickle cell and HIV tests

The relevance of this lesson is to place the request by the Church for a sickle cell test and an HIV test into proper perspective.

If the couple have a result of "AA" (sickling negative) and "AS" there is no real problem. If both have an "S" somewhere (that is sickling positive), the counsellor should advise a break-up of the relationship for the following reasons:

There is a 25% chance of having an "SS" child, which means that any or all of their children could be "SS". It could also mean that none may be "SS".

This situation could also be compared to having a boy or a girl. There is a 50% chance of having a boy or girl. This means that one could have all children as boys or all as girls.

Medically, the "SS" child can have problems such as:

• Frequent admission to the hospital.

• Numerous expenses relating to medical care.

• Many hours will be spent in the hospital.

• Possibility of sudden death of child.

• Time otherwise to be spent at home will be spent at the hospital.

• This will be an extra strain on the wife (mother) in addition to all her roles.

• This could lead to quarrel at home and a possible shortage of money.

• There is likely to be morbid fear of pregnancy, which could affect the sex life of the couple.

• The child itself will be a very unhealthy and unhappy one.

The counsellor may ask the couple to recall whether they are acquainted with any sicklier. The acceptable situation is that they both be sickling negative or at worst, one negative and one positive. If both are positive then the situation could be dangerous. Medical advice is against such a marriage and so is the church, however, the decision is theirs.

HIV test
If either partner is positive, they should be strongly advised to break up the relationship and forget about the planned marriage, for obvious reasons.

Next series comes up shortly.
Thank you for reading.

        Reference : Dag Heward.