Slaying the Dragon!

Saving the Princess!

Slaughtering the Enemy!

Beating the Super-Villain!

It seems the everywhere in the world there are ideas and concepts about what "hero" or "real man" should be like and do. I know that many of those ideas seem to be based in fantasy, and not in reality, so let's list a few more realistic accomplishments that men seem to use to really make themselves feel like they have accomplished something.

Sleep with the most women

Drink the most beers

Win the most fights

Score the most goals

Have the biggest bank account

Have the biggest house

Have the fanciest car

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Personally, if how much of a man you are is based upon what kind of car you drive, you may want to see if you any testosterone. A vehicle should never make, or break, your manhood. If a vehicle can make, or break, your masculinity, it makes me wonder how much you really have, man.

I've always thought that the man should make the car, not the other way around!!!

Anyway, it seems that time and time again, all of society, or at least the portions of society that still believe in beings called men, measures us by all sorts of whacked out standards, and when we focus on "measuring up" according to those so-called standards, we really miss the true mark.

Look, over the years I've spent a lot of time in the jail ministry, talking to all sorts of male inmates, and sometimes a few females too. Time and time again, deep down these men know the things that should characterize a true man, and yet, repeatedly, they choose to do contrariwise.

Truly, an honest, kind, respectful, peaceful, and caring man can be a huge asset.

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A lying, cruel, disrespectful, violent, and careless man can be a huge liability.

Yet, despite how true those statement are, let's guess what type of character Hollywood will have play the next hero in the next blockbuster they put out. I'll bet he's at least disrespectful and violent. I mean who would want to watch anything else?

There used to be a time when you could tell a lot about a man just by observing his family. (I know many people do not have their own families, so I'm not speaking about how to measure a single man. I'm just contrasting a lifestyle that was once much more popular and is quickly fading from society.)

Anyway, a man who had a lasting marriage and was raising obedient children would be the kind of man that you would want on your team, at least back then. His loyalty and integrity were sought-after characteristics, and his ability to teach and train his own children to be appropriate and respectful could be seen by how they acted in situations.

Even those who do marry and have kids often still attempt to succeed elsewhere instead of at home, in order to show how great of a man they are. Personally, I think that we all fall pretty short, and though we may often think of ourselves as ALPHA Males, we are really closer to being BETA Fish. Yeah, we can puff ourselves up and put on a good show of perceived manliness, but just tip our bowl over and spill the water.

Often, all of our efforts in times of serious trouble or disaster look like a small fish flopping in a puddle more than they look like a warrior pounding his chest on top of a mound of fallen foes. Perhaps this is part of why I don't care so much about opinion. Often, when people tell me "You're the man!" I reply with, "Yes, I am a man."

At least that's a true story, because I am a man.

If my manliness or success will be measured by a vehicle, mansion, wardrobe or bank account, then I will never measure up. Eventually, the vehicle will rust, the mansion will collapse, the wardrobe will become worn, and the bank account will either become empty on my watch or wasted by another, so what care should I really have for such things?

I know that eventually my wife and children will all be dead, so in light of that last comment, my family may not seem like a much better place to invest my efforts. Yet, I believe that there are eternal souls living inside the temporary bodies of my wife and children.

I believe that building a lasting and loving marriage with my wife is a great investment of my time. In the past decade, I have been with one woman, my wife. I bet many reading this have been with many more (if you haven't stopped reading already.) Obviously, I have made my choice and you have made yours, but I bring this up to offer the question, does that make me any less manly?

You see, when we attempt to measure manliness by foolish standards like sleeping around, we miss out on some characteristics that I believe are very beneficial if we are to truly be a hero or a praiseworthy man. Many people in society are sexually over-stimulated right now anyway, and the bars can be full of women who will sleep you, not to mention many other places. Just because someone frequently gives in to various urges does not make them more manly. In fact, it may display a lack of self-control.

Far too often, men will give up on their marriages, and this often ends poorly for all involved, especially the children, if there are any. My wife and I have had plenty of difficulties over the years, but learning how to forgive and work through things can be incredibly beneficial life skills to acquire. Jumping ship when things get rough and trying to take an easier path doesn't do much for building perseverance.

Also, when it comes to raising children, I think that raising them up to know how to properly behave in different situations and how to appropriately interact with others is becoming a lost art. A father has a precious role in the life of his children, and yet this is one of the areas where many men focus very little time, energy, and attention.

Marriage can be hard, and kids can be difficult. To succeed as a husband and father can be some of the most difficult tasks that any man will ever face. Far too often I believe men are more prone to give up in these areas, and I believe that our failure in our own families is contributing to a lot of the issues that are manifesting themselves in the world right now.

Recently, I had a conversation with a man. In a lot of ways, he was a lot like myself. However, in a lot of ways he was nothing like me at all. We had both been given the same opportunities, yet, our families looked completely different. Mine is being built up, and his is rapidly falling apart. As we talked, his wife and children weren't really on his radar, and he had many other ideas about how to make himself a "great man."

Honestly, it's painful to watch, and my heart really goes out to everyone involved in that situation. Unfortunately, I can't really do anything, because he has to make his own choices, and I have to make mine.

I often like to type as I think and share my thoughts, so that's what I did here. Perhaps we don't all need to sacrifice our wives and children while we try to measure up to some lame standards or "succeed" in other areas of life while our families suffer.

If you have a spouse, or if you ever will get married, honor your commitment to that person. Honestly, I used to be incredibly untrustworthy and unfaithful, but I do not need to be. The commitment that I have to wife and my wife has to me can last a lifetime, and we can be seriously blessed by that.

If you have children, invest in their lives. Soon, they will be gone. How they behave can be a representation of your investment (or lack thereof) in their lives. I want my children to be set up for success in life, and I don't think that job has been given to anyone else. Ultimately, it's my job, because they are my children.

In the end, if my marriage lasts a lifetime and I raise my children to be blessings and not curses, I'll be a true hero in this world, even if it isn't highly esteemed in the eyes of this world.

Remember, it's never to late to start. We cannot change the past, we can only learn from it and get over it. All we have for certain is this moment, and we can choose what we will do with it. Succeeding in the present is what leads to a better future here.

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