Owning Yourself
“All negative reactions are not caused from outside; it’s how we choose. The way to become bulletproof is to own anything that seems a fault. The way to overcome the ego’s reaction to that is to say, “I’m stupid and ugly. It doesn’t matter; God loves me.”
-David R. Hawkins
It can be a difficult thing to own oneself, every flaw, mistake, and embarrassing moment we have.
I know I struggled with it for years, I was insecure in my own shoes, I didn't fully own my life. Instead I hid away the parts of myself I didn't like from myself. I'd make excuses for myself, lie to myself, and criticize myself instead of accepting everything. This turned out to be the source of most all of my problems in life. It's still the source of all the problems in my life.
You always hear people say "Just be yourself," and everything will turn out. Then the rest of society turns around and tells you how you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to be doing, it's like we don't even have a chance to be ourselves. There's conflict there, it's counterproductive and confusing. We're told what we need to do, and how we need to act in order to please society: Go to school, don't act out in public, don't embarrass others, don't find your passion, just find what pays, go to college, don't offend people, be politically correct, don't take chances.
We have these thoughts in our heads that if we don't meet others expectations they will disown us in some way. It makes us afraid to express ourselves, or at least it made me afraid to. I was embarrassed of myself! Too afraid of not being good or messing up to try something new or to just goof off, even when I was alone. It made me apathetic towards life, and I buried myself in video games, books, tv, and movies. I still love those things, but I don't use them to hide from myself anymore.
It took a while to stop taking myself so seriously, to not worry if someone would laugh at me, to actually thrive off awkwardness. I had to put myself through some uncomfortable situations, and find out that failure, while rarely enjoyable, is where a lot of growth and maturity take place. Before, I was too afraid to fail to even try a lot of things, so I never really changed. Once I figured out failing wasn't the end of the world, that it was actually a great way to learn, life really started getting fun. That's when I really started to become who I wanted to be.
It's once we own ourselves that we can really start to make changes, because if we don't accept ourselves as we are right now, then changes can never really take place. Because right now is all there is, otherwise we're just dreaming, either remembering who we used to be, or imagining who we wish we were. There's no credit being given to ourselves then, to who we are right now.
My challenge for myself and to you, is to take stock of every part of me, the good parts and the bad, strengths and weaknesses. To root out the the parts of ourselves we hide from or ignore, and own them. To not delude ourselves and make excuses, but instead to embrace the faults and be aware of them. I want to get to the point where I can be unapologetically me and feel comfortable and excited to be expressing that to the world. That, to me, is the ultimate freedom.
It's easy to hide from ourselves, it's much more challenging to confront our own weaknesses. But allowing ourselves to be vulnerable opens us to love.
Talk to me about your experiences in accepting yourself, or someone in your life, in the comments below, and if you take up my challenge don't forget to love yourself :)
"Because right now is all there is, otherwise we're just dreaming, either remembering who we used to be, or imagining who we wish we were."
Otherwise just dreaming or wishing - that sums it up.
"I want to get to the point where I can be unapologetically me and feel comfortable and excited to be expressing that to the world. That, to me, is the ultimate freedom."
Me too, and it is.
And it's hard...everything you've said...is hard.
"But allowing ourselves to be vulnerable opens us to love."
And amazingly, true love is acceptance. No more, no less, nothing but.
I would tell about my experiences, but it's all so much, from so many places, and some best forgotten - learned from, but let go. Learned from, I learned, and I'm still learning - it's kind of a lifelong thing.
Ya, incredibly hard for some reason, it's like being as comfortable with the world as you are with yourself.
I read this interesting thing about forgetting, it's just the opposite of remembering, so in a way, just as important. I like how you put it, "learned from, but let go." It's all a journey.
It's crazy, I don't know if there is an end to it, but it's so interesting and rewarding...
It is interesting and rewarding.
And I love your view from both sides, all angles. I do that too. I think it came to me naturally, maybe even as a coping mechanism, and now it's just how I see everything. Sometimes that's a curse. Sometimes that's a gift. Feels that way, anyway, but there can be so much wisdom there when you flip things around.
Curiosity might've killed the cat, but it's helped me solve my problems. And now I'm sure it wasn't the cat, he just took the fall, and I feel so darn sorry.
Hey@jakeybrown! Finding ourselves requires a lot of introspection which cannot be found in a capitalist society. I agree with you, we don't have a chance to be ourselves which leads to confusion and dis-ease of the mind, body and soul. That's when life comes knocking to ask us..what are you doing? Peace.
Exactly, noone talks about introspection at all, society is telling us to look outside for what we seek and then we are always let down, we always need more because we haven't found ourselves.
Well put, I'll check out your blog, followed
For sure recently I have been facing my own shortcomings and it can be very startling to see something that was overlooked, sometimes for a lifetime. But the remarkable thing, as you say, is really accepting all those shortcomings and not avoiding them (like that was possible!)
There does seem to be a magical element when that observation begins, and that is that they just doesn't have the teeth we once thought.
Just resting in our own 'beingness' can bring unexpected results. - Great frank posting.
Thanks, ya I agree, once you turn and confront your fears they aren't as bad as you imagined. That's one thing I've always had, great imagination, it can be difficult to control when we get a negative mindset though.
Sometimes life seems to get fed up and force us to look at things, which is challenging, but helpful in the long run.
I'm continually "working" on resting in my own being. Letting go of the 'me' has proven to take some time as I work through the layers I've built up
another well written post, it is too bad you are not getting more comments and likes for your writing. It is brave to put yourself out there for others to judge, this post is pretty much about that anyway. We are only humans which just makes these things harder or should I say easier to avoid/ignore. You always get my 1 worthless vote though.
Vote is still worth something, just not a full cent. I'm sure as more people join and I improve my post quality with some personalization I will get some more interaction, still new to this and time is a bit of a crunch. I wouldn't mind posting on other blogging platforms if I had the time, there are plenty of other ones that are busier than steemit, I just feel like this will be the place to be.
I can really relate to this. I remember learning that I grew up in a free country, and feeling a huge sense of contradiction when I had to raise my hand to go to the bathroom, one of the most basic needs a human being has. I had all kinds of ideas that were considered crazy and never had a chance to really develop them and really be able to elaborate on them until I got much older. For a long time I felt I had problems. I was only really able to overcome these insecurities and own myself when I faced my fears by being smack dab in the middle of them. Now I try to face my fears before I can forced to face them and I find I grow as much each year a similar some people do in a lifetime.
Edit: if you ever get s chance to check out my fiction linked in all my posts, the first chapter/intro has a very similar sentiment to this post.
Ya, it's good to face fears quickly, I've learned that the hard way a few times haha.
Awesome, I will definitely check that out in the morning.
This post says that you are secure now. Or at least you are at the point where you are ready to be YOU. I love it. It's fiery and I feel your heart. keep writing with that fire. People need this because they need to understand that society tries to box us in. That is what stunts our growth. When we make ourselves vulnerable we give ourselves the chance to flourish.
I can feel the weight of humanity in what you write. Much respect.
Thanks for the kind words @humanearl, I enjoy writing and sharing my experience, I think we can all learn something from one another. I was excited to be on steemit because I loved the concept and technology, now I'm even more excited to be on steemit than I was before as I've started finding amazing people on here. There are some heart driven people here! You are one of them, I can see how genuine you are and you inspired me to try to get some Dtube going! Keep it up man, I'll see you around
I dont know if the voices in my head are good or bad yet :) Nice post.
Beautiful post
plz check my profile give comment & upvote
Hi!
Earth is a place where Truth has been turned upside down on every level. As we awaken we realize that much of that which we assumed to be originating within ourselves is actually stemming from the external. So we start the process of undoing anything within us that is not truly coming from our very own Soul until we eventually return to "The only Truth lies within oneself". Whenever we wonder:"Is this true or that?", there is really no answer, for YOU decide with no boundaries to your imagination. Your Soul decides. Much Love to you!:)