I can really relate to this. I remember learning that I grew up in a free country, and feeling a huge sense of contradiction when I had to raise my hand to go to the bathroom, one of the most basic needs a human being has. I had all kinds of ideas that were considered crazy and never had a chance to really develop them and really be able to elaborate on them until I got much older. For a long time I felt I had problems. I was only really able to overcome these insecurities and own myself when I faced my fears by being smack dab in the middle of them. Now I try to face my fears before I can forced to face them and I find I grow as much each year a similar some people do in a lifetime.

Edit: if you ever get s chance to check out my fiction linked in all my posts, the first chapter/intro has a very similar sentiment to this post.