Everybody knows what they are doing until they have to do it...

Recently I have had to be in the company of a friend who designs, just two days ago he was going to help a friend out with design for she and her husband. This is like the fourth he’s doing this year alone for married people. In some cases he knew both of the individuals getting married and in some he knows only one spouse. It is always interesting to see the images they send him.

The smiles.
The laughter.
The shiny teeth and bright eyed looks.
It is always fun and heartwarming.

Makes you think these marriages and lives are all perfect but they aren't are they? If you have no prior experience or are not mature enough, you would look at these images and just think these marriages are the perfect gold standard and yet they all have and have had their challenges.

In fact some marriages take years to get to this point which you are looking at in pictures and fawning over. you think all marriage started grand and with oodles and oodles of love? I laugh in high foreign exchange rate. Please take a seat and let me gist you. Some marriages even started with a strong dislike and I do not even mean arranged ones now; the one they both agreed to tie the knot and yet they had such a dislike for some things about each other they were always fighting and fighting.

Did you also know that the average marriage has some of the worst and most ridiculous fights and disagreements in the first two to three years? It is not because they did not love each other! But to make that final transition from where they were to now living together can be tough. This is why some people say that if you can make it through the first two years you can do it. It is not always the case yes, but I am sure you get the idea.

Did you also note that some people were sexually abused and raped before they got hitched so even though they loved this person, physically and emotionally it was hard to handle? Some have even been raped while married and then getting together with their spouse again became hard. Some marriages have even ended because of it.

The ways things happen vary. Do not assume anything.

Sometimes people say I know so much and write so much so my own relationship and marriage will not have issues. You think that's easy? I wish. Thankfully I have some experience practicing some of these things in relationships and I have my parent's example, but even that is not the same as when you finally say your vows and are bound together by law.

No matter how mature and prepared you are for the university, when you finally get in That’s when you get to meet the real challenges, experience and be a part of it.

I am not trying to scare anyone but the sooner a lot of us take our eyes of the fanciful clothes and studio shots, focus on the real issues the better.
Marriage is work.
Hard work.
Be ready to do yours.

PS. Do not forget to enjoy the journey too.
That is part of the package deal.