RE: You must learn to love yourself first
As I said, I think it is a generational gap. I am 51 years old.
For me yes a man acting feminine is not admirable. Most of my problems in life came from not being masculine and calculating. Instead when I acted like a female and let life run over me.
I had a difficult childhood and even entire life. Probably much of the negative shit that happened to me in life was a result of not moving on from that dysfunction. I finally decided to grow up and be a man.
But as you say, each person has their own choices to make. So I shouldn't judge you. I guess I just don't want to read this, because it may reflect somewhat the state-of-mind I was in around my 20s and even 30s. And also because I wish I had become masculine sooner in life. I am not talking about athleticism. I was athletic from age 5. I am talking about mental toughness.
That is not to say I don't have qualities of empathy, care, emotional interplay with others. Yet I am striving to not feed a feminine side of myself to the point where I am capable of being someone's floormat again.
Btw, I empathize with your childhood struggles, but man you got to just nevermind that stuff if possible. And get on.
Ah, I love that you opened up to me like that, thank you - I really emphasise with your struggles too. I'm 36, and yes, life was tough for people in the 80's and beforehand. I totally agree. You probably had it WAY harder than me.
I AM mentally strong, by the way. I came out the other end of a WW2-type mental battle smelling of roses. Not an easy feat. I am definitely at peace with my past, my present and my future. I could, if I wanted to just shut up and get on with my life. You are right.
But then with all the shit I've went through I feel that if I write about it someone can relate and another person may even gain something from it. "Hey, damn, that's me! Maybe I should try that"
I write to help, not to complain about my past :)
And thank you for what you said, I can relate a lot to that :)
Yeah...I also think men having to show masculinity and being targeted for allowing their feelings to exist is a thing of the past...there are those in this world who do not want you to feel any emotion other than fear, but I for one am not subservient to them. I think the energy of this planet is changing, and I would say it is becoming more feminine as in more right brain thinking, more creativity and feeling. I think it is a needed balance and it has been
Prophesized by the native american hopi tribe as the battle of the eagle and the condor. I personally would say we are in the times of a pheonix when it rebirths itself from the flames. The vibration of this planet is rising because of the rise of human consioussness, and it is not a bad thing to have a balance of masculine and feminine energy. Personally I am convinced that 99 % of the population have no idea what love is. They think it has to do with relationships but love is the bquilding block of creation (creativity)
Deep, very deep. I'll have to digest and research a bit about what you said :)
It is interesting to me how you describe feminine as someone who isn't mentally tough. Do you believe feminine only relates to being a floormat? I believe females can have all kinds of qualities, and yes they are typically more emotional than men but there are just as many unaware men as women. If a woman is able to be aware of her emotions and not act impulsively on them, being emotional doesn't have to be a bad thing...Some would consider it a good way to experience life more fully. I understand that much of society has that same view of "feminine" as you do, therefore I appreciate you speaking your mind...even if I don't agree with you. The cool thing about the interent is if you choose to look at it as a science experiment viewing all the qualities of people, you observe the human species and simply notice the types of opinions that we have developed. Personally, my ideas of the word "feminine" consist of empathy, emotions, birth, giving, and nuturing. While I view "masculine" as consisting of strength, decisiveness, common sense, and confidence. I do see the important qualities of the masculine but I just think that everybody needs a combination of both feminine and masculine traits in order to be fulfilled.
I don't disagree with that. I didn't write that women are floormats. But a weak man can certainly become one!
I just resent not growing up sooner and taking responsibility for my life sooner. I certainly don't want to be paying someone from a collective pool of money for whining about their parents.
I'm older than you so this is not a generational thing for you. It's your own issues showing through, I'll be polite and not make comment on what you are displaying.
I applaud @lifeisawesome's courage in being open and vulnerable about his life. It takes a different type of strength to be honest and raw.
I prefer if you'd speak honestly about "my issues" so I can address it. Your passive aggressive psychoanalysis BS is quite the shit. All of us have issues. I stand by my comments that is silly to get paid $2000 for whining about what parents did or didn't do. Get out there and make a life. Get paid for doing something actually productive.
It is perhaps generational because many men have been raised emasculated in the latest crop. All this feminist bullshit.
What courage? You are encouraging a man to be vulnerable! You fucking feminist piece of shit. You are the one destroying him. I am trying to help him grow up and gain a backbone. Honesty would be him admitting to himself that he hasn't moved on yet, and stop looking back and still vulnerable to emotional shit. I will accept positive emotional experiences. Negative emotional experiences go as fast as possible in my incinerator.
What you going to do? Waste your entire life be vulnerable to the past? Nonsense!
The greatest thing that ever happened to me was in circa 2003 when a real man explained to me how to be mentally tough and not let my emotions rule my life. I still love my emotions, but I can pick and choose which emotions are valuable to me. That is not to say I've perfected it, but at least I am actively trying to.
If this blog post was written as a form of group therapy or self-help inspiration, then the first thing is I must say I think it is hurting not helping, because it is encouraging men to whine.
I wasn't going to write so harshly, as the author was not picking a fight with me. I was willing to leave it at what I had already written. But then you commented with your shit. You and I will mix like oil and water. I suggest we both have more productive things to do than fight with each other. I regret posting comments on this blog, because it doesn't aid my priorities to have to defend my constitution to you.
You are 51. I am 53. Please see my comment above. So, I believe your views are not typical of your/our generation - they are just yours. Take care.
Of course because I decided to leave the emasculating Western countries in 1990 and lived half my life in a developing world country where the feminist dysfunctionality had not been widely promulgated. Based on your other comment (not sure if it will remain 'above'), I suspect you are a victim of that weak, ass bullshit indoctrination. Nevertheless I think there are many X gens who made similar rejection as I did to the boomer's ideological fornication. There is no getting into touch with the fact that my parents are different than I am and they want to live their own life as they see fit. My responsibility is to live my life as I see fit. Get out there and compete as a man.
Edit: Perhaps view my vehement reaction as rejecting non-male role models. I realize others will argue that a stereotypical male role model is not correct. And I will argue that is feminist indoctrination (even arguably funded by Rockefeller).