You must learn to love yourself first

in #love8 years ago

Love is a strange old thing.

As I said in my last post I'd tell women in my early twenties that I loved them without actually being sure what love actually was. My version of love was a bit genuinely screwed up.

I knew love as my Dad battering me behind a curtain in a pub because I was tired and wanted to go home. I knew love as my Dad screaming at me at the top of his voice and smashing a plate against the wall because I was eating too loud. Love was shouting and screaming because me,

I wasn't perfect.

And Dad was trying to protect me from myself.

I knew love as Mum waiting for days, weeks, sometimes months for her partner to come back to us, and her, crying on Christmas day, alone. I knew love as Mum falling in and out of relationships, all through my time with her, never to have that one steady guy that was always reliable. I also knew love as Mum incessantly worrying about everything and anything.

Love for me was pretty damn fucked up.

That's putting it lightly.

So when it was time for me to enter potentially loving relationships in my later years no surprises how all of them ended up. In fact, I think my longest ever relationship lasted for a month.

And then I worked on myself

[story here]

And as I began to grow and aspire and do good things with my life, and feel good about doing them, I would look back and think,

"Wow dude, you're pretty damn awesome"

So in short I started to like myself. Think positively about the way things were going, and feel good about what I was actually doing with my life.

But loving myself didn't stop at feeling good in my career and life I later realised. It also requires a certain amount of care. If I'm unwell, then I'll take myself to the doctors. Understanding the right foods to take and what works with me and what does not. Understanding emotions. Keeping healthy. And maintaining healthy friendships.

Loving myself was also caring for myself.

And when I finally knew what loving myself truly was - then I knew how to take that feeling onto others. I now know what love is.

And then I met an amazing woman. After a good four or five years of solitude. One like I had never been with before. One that treated me as a person and not an object. Safe to say I was swept off my feet from the start.

When I said to her I loved her, I knew I meant it!

And she knew it too.

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The less I care about opinions that disagree with me is the better my life gets.

Nice. I agree with this post :)

Right on, ftp every one else

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Ah man hit home, it all starts as early as childhood. Most don't realize it until they get older and wonder "what is wrong with me"? But once you realize and accept to love your self first everything becomes more clearer. Great post once again.

Thank you, and yep. Childhood is the root in my opinion :)

Can't agree more.

Wow dude! Nice post, it feels like i'm reading my own story! Keep it up!

Yea most of us can relate in some aspects of the post.

Thank you :) Nice to hear you say that!

This reminds me of a sad song that is beautiful, by my favorite rock band of all time, Alter Bridge. Look up "Watch Over You" if you haven't heard it.

One of the lines is: "How can you love someone; and not yourself?"

I LOVE THIS post. Following you, you have real heart. And you don't shy from meaning and purpose.

Thank you - I love that you said that. Many more to come in my mind-bank :)

Agreee...agreee :)

Your occupation may be the best way of overcoming loneliness. Try using periods of depression to show your professional skills.

This in itself is a good idea - but what about showing 'yourself' your professional skills :)

I agree with you, for showing skills for yourself can be the best way to boost self confidence.

  • Translated by Google

Thank you, for taking the time to speak in my language! Really appreciate that :)

Thanks for the pick me up... Makes life give a new meaning.

To be in love is to be truly vulnerable. Utterly exposed. Naked in the wind. My partner could literally destroy me, my life, everything I've worked for with a few carefully chosen words, but she wont do that. She won't because she knows that she has that power, and I hold that power with her. She needs to know that she has that power...

It took me months, even years, to realize that was the root of most of our problems. I wasn't giving her my all... just what I felt comfortable giving.

It's not until you come out of that comfort zone will you truly experience love.

True , so true. Said just as I did on my last post. Awesome :)

Good inspiration and motivation to get people to develop self-care or self-love and heal themselves!

The expansive force of consciousness (love) manifests internally through the state or condition of being unified from within: as we think, so we feel, and so we act. The way we act reflects what is going on in our heart/care and mental center. There is no internal contradiction or opposition between the three aspects of consciousness. This is the internal expression of consciousness called Dominion or sovereignty of the self. Other terms include self-control, self-governance, self-rulership, self-ownership, self-reign, and internal monarch. This has also been referred to as self-love, self-care, self-mastery, enlightenment, balance, harmony, internal peace, etc. in various traditions. This is dominion of the kingdom of self, being a King of Queen of our own kingdom within, and not any external rulership, control, or governance, but internal governance and control over one’s own thoughts, emotions and actions in harmony.

Take care. Peace.

so true. Thank you for commenting :)

this is a nice post. i enjoy reading it and i can relate myself too.

Thank you. Nice to hear you say that :)

Loving yourself means also accepting yourself and saying "I am enough".

Yep! This is true also :)

Panda..Panda..Panda sorry listing to the dang song on the radio.

hahahahahhaha i love the song too :)

Hah. Sorry - I don't know the song lol

You are totaly spot one! Love thyself!

Thank you - Love thyself and the world will fall into place :)

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