When you feel like giving up, ask yourself these questions
There is such a story.
There is an old lady, she has two daughters, the older daughter sells umbrellas, and the younger daughter sells hats.
If it was a sunny day, the old lady will worry about the older daughter has no business. If it was a rainy day, she will worry that no one will buy hats from her younger daughter.
To this, the old lady lived a sullen life.
Her neighbor asked her why she looked unhappy; After learning the truth, the neighbor told her, you can look from another perspective, if it was a rainy day, your older daughter will sell more and faster; and if it was a sunny day, then more people will visit your younger daughter's shop.
The old lady finally untied the knot in her heart, no longer worry for her daughters’ businesses.
In the book “Loving what is”, Byron Katie pointed out that the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but the thought about it.
Sometimes, the same thing can produce different results and moods because of different choices.
There are so many things in life that we can't solve by ourselves. The only aspect of life that we can control is our own heart.
You can trap yourself into a dead end, or you can try a different perspective.
The ancient Greek philosopher, Epictetus, also said that what really bothered us was not what happened to us, but what we thought of it.
A moment of thought often decides the different ending, if you can use another angle to see things, things will become more transparent.
Byron Katie said: “Everyone is a mirror of their own image.”
You feel chaos and confusion in your heart and will inevitably be reflected in your outside world.
Our own attitudes are projected into the outside world, and sometimes when we think of others’ characteristics, perhaps because we are that way ourselves.
The projection effect mentions what a psychologist says: All around you are a huge mirror, reflecting the inner course of life, values, and the needs of the ego, that is, what we see is not the outside world, but ourselves.
When the heart is filled with a certain emotion, psychological will bring a strong personal preference hint, and then lead to the subject from the object to substantiate.
For example, after understanding some of the constellation analysis, we will continue to impose on our own beliefs, and then look for plausible proof, to substantiate our psychological expectations, and eventually form a "That's the way" psychological stereotypes.
Just like the psychologist, McGee said, you see what you want to see.
Generally speaking, we all have an established perspective on what to look at.
Like Matilde in Maupassant novel "The Necklace (La Parure)", for her, every piece of jewelry is real and lost 10 years of youth for a cheap necklace.
It's easy to think of our imagination as a fact, but the truth is, our ideas are basically just one of many ideas.
All the pain stems from the haunting stories that have been caused by uncensored misconceptions.
The facts are far more merciful than the stories we have made, arguing with the facts will only make ourselves suffer.
No pain is for you alone.
In "Léon: The Professional", Matilda asked Leon: “Is life always this hard. Or is it just when you’re a kid?”
Leon replied: “Always like this.”
Life is hard, but you also need to know that you are not the most unfortunate person in the world, the things you experienced, and many people have experienced, or are experiencing.
What we can do is to be responsible for ourselves and learn to save ourselves.
In the book "Loving what is" mentioned that what you think should not happen "should" have happened. It should happen because it does happen and there is no thought in the world to change.
But this doesn’t mean you have to forgive or agree, you can look at the matter, do not resist, accept the bad feelings and the pain, and also don’t lose direction because of the inner struggle.
Many things, only by facing, accepting, deal with it, let go, only can get calm.
At around 30, Byron Katie suffered from severe depression and deteriorated.
Until one day, she suddenly realized, perceiving the root of her own pain, questioning the long-troubled thoughts of her own, and finally regained the calm.
In the years of practice, Byron Katie came out with "The Work": Four sentences for questioning, and a reverse thinking.
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it's true?
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
Ask the questions, then go inside and wait for the deeper answers to surface.
There are a number of possible combinations of these three forms, with the focus not on finding the most inverse thinking, but on identifying critical reflections that can bring your awareness and allow you to release from the nightmare of a chaotic obsession.
For example, someone asked, why did I try so hard but still not succeed?
Follow “The Work” step by step and asks:
Is it true?
Did you really try very hard? Or just using superficial diligence to disguise laziness?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
Perhaps not tried that hard, after taking a lot of courses, but most of the study is so-so.
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
If having the idea of "try so hard but still not able to succeed", you will be closed in a small circle, unable to see the difference between themselves and the people who succeed.
Who would you be without the thought?
Put down your ego, slowly accumulate, actively seek feedback and constantly revise, calm down, don’t rush for success.
Byron Katie also mentioned that, according to the situation after the 3rd questions, you can another two more questions:
Can you find a reason to let go of that idea?
Can you find a reason to hold that idea with no anxiety?
In a world of chaos or pain, “The Work” can help you dissolve the pain and live a clear awareness.
After much practice, in the end, this awakening will become a way of life, and peace and joy will naturally be integrated into every relationship and experience.
Be responsible for yourself, focus on yourself, do what you can, not take it out and change others.
What life will be like, it's all in your thoughts.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://walkinharmony.vornix.blog/2018/10/25/when-you-feel-like-giving-up-ask-yourself-these-questions/
Life is tired at times. I stand at the crossroads and fall. But we still have to stand up and move up.
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Great post. they say that the people who are most successful are those who are doing what they love.