Stop complaining, gives hope to yourself and otherssteemCreated with Sketch.

in life •  20 days ago

After working for a few years, I met some people, from the degree of optimism, they can be roughly divided into three categories. The first kind is extremely negative energy, they are always complaining, like a virus, no matter where they go, they can infect negative emotions to others.

The second kind of person is positive, hardly hear them complain, like a small sun, shine where ever they go. The third kind of person is in the middle state, doesn’t favor positive or negative, but they are easily be influenced by others. If there are more negative voice around, their idea will become negative, on the contrary, become positive.

You may trim your appeal if you take brass as a mirror. You may know rise and decline if you take ancientry as a mirror. You will understand the gain and loss if you take people as a mirror. After getting along with these people, I wish to give myself hope, but also give others hope. If I don’t have the ability to encourage others, I will try not to spread negative emotions to others.


The idea mainly comes from the two people I have been in deep contact with, one is my former colleague, when she first joined, we get along well with each other. After all, she is beautiful, good character, but most of the seniors in the company don’t go well with her.

I also wondered at first, after spending some time, I realized that something was wrong, she was too good at complaining, complain about everything, as if everything had problems in her eyes. Sometimes, she can complain for more than two hours. She can complain about a colleague's bad for two hours. Less than a month, all the colleagues had turned into selfish and snobbery people for her.

I finally understand despite her 10 years of industry experience, she is still an ordinary employee, it is impossible for her to be a good leader and a good colleague.

She was the first person in my life to be listed as a monster because the negative energy from her was too much, I told myself to stay away from her and never become who she is.

The other person was my mentor when I first entered the workplace. She was a completely different person who could always see the good side of people and things, and I had never heard her complaining. I have a habit, when I am in trouble, I will always think of the worst of things. Such as the first time on the stage giving speech, I am very nervous, habitual thinking about the worst outcome is nothing more than that everyone thinks my speech is really bad and leave their seat. I think if I can bear this result, then it's not that bad.

This habit frees me from tension, but it also has its downsides, and sometimes I think too badly about the results so that I dare not to try. But she will always give me encouragement when I needed it, some things clearly have no hope for me, but she will only say a word to me: You can certainly do it.


At first, I was not used to it, can't help from thinking, what if I failed? She said, "Why think so much? Just do it first." When I did fail, she changed another word: “You have done whatever you can, at least you tried your best.”

In her countless encouragement, I started to do something that I was absolutely afraid to do before, can be said to widen the width of life.

“I think I can do it.” This sentence is not a spell, not to say can be sure, but if we want to complete a thing, first we have to believe that we can do, and then go all out to do, rather than care about the gains and losses.

That is to hold the best hope, do your best, prepare for the worst. They have a great influence on me, but also help me learn something. First, never underestimate your impact on others, even if only the usual small talk, our remarks will affect the other side’s judgment.

The impact can be very small, so small that we don't realize that it exists. For example, if you are planning to watch a movie, but there are two movies but you don’t know which one to choose, your friends watched both and said one is better, the other one is bad, there is no need to watch, which will you choose to watch?

What I can be sure of is that your friend's advice is bound to affect what you think of two movies. Of course, this is just a small example. But complaining can destroy a person's mobility and dreams and treating others as trash bins for their own negative emotions is really an extremely irresponsible act.


So I need to remind myself that even if I can't be a complete optimist and give encouragement, I also need to make good use of the voice of being a bystander. Second, a person will only attract people who are similar to him/her.

Everyone knows to stay away from people who like to complain and be friends with the positive, but it's a two-choice process. When we evaluate others, others are also evaluating us.

Who wants to listen to other people's complain all day? Everyone will be annoyed if you keep complaining to them. And everyone has their life to busy, facing their own life has been enough, there is no time and energy to listen to other people complain.

How you treat the world, the world treats you back the same way. Negative people can only feel malice. Franklin said: “I have never seen an early, diligent, cautious, honest person complaining about bad fate. Good character, good habits, strong will, will not be defeated by the fate of the so-called destiny.”

Dissatisfaction should return to yourself, otherwise, it will only be narrow in the complaint, becomes lonely. This is not our purpose, we must live to become more open, so, it is best to be a hope for ourselves, and also a hope for others.


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