80% of the anxiety can easily be resolvedsteemCreated with Sketch.

in life •  15 days ago

Are you anxious? On this question, 80% of my friends around me gave a positive answer, and several friends added an attributive “very” to their anxiety.

Very anxious and confused has become a lot of people's normal, and like everyone else, after work, I will also feel anxious, always feel that there are all kinds of problems waiting for me to solve every day, worried about not being competent for the job.

So for the past few months, I feel very depressed, even if I achieved some results, I don’t feel that happy, I just feel that I’m lucky. Gradually I found myself become more timid, more and more anxious, and even lose the confidence to do anything. Until I saw the picture below, my fears were gone.

A lot of people think this picture as a meme and doesn’t care too much, but I think of it as my own stress relief oracle. When you have no problem, what's there to worry about? Why are you worried when you already have the solution?

And when there is no solution, anyway, it’s a problem that can’t be solved, worry too much about it doesn’t hel. So, all the things in the world are really not worthy of our worries, not worthy of our anxiety.
Although this picture can help us ease our worries for a while, there are still two more problems that need to be addressed.

Number 1: What if the solving speed is too slow? Worried about the speed of solving the problem is too slow, worried about not growing fast enough, because of the effort and become more anxious.

I met a friend, Aaron, he was an accountant. Last year, he was the excellent staff of the year. Every day after work, he will read and write. On weekends, he will also take the initiative to participate in various training courses to further study. In his words, he is doing his best every day in his life.

For me, he is my role model, especially after work, I admire those who not only do a good job during the day, and also doing well for their side hustle. Every time I left work, I was like a flatten balloon, just want to fall on the bed to sleep.

I thought he would be very relaxing, after all, he is working hard, but when chatting with him, his sentences full of "So annoying", "anxiety", "too stressful". When he saw a book he wanted to buy, he will be happy at that moment and worried that he won’t be able to finish it.

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When you know more knowledge, you are exposed to the unknown more. When you try to move forward, the smaller you will notice you are. In this process of continuous progress, if you can not adjust the mentality in time, it is easy to be crushed and become anxious.

I wonder if you've heard of the 20-mile rule? Imagine you're standing with your feet in the Pacific Ocean in San Diego, looking inland. You're about to embark on a 3,000-mile walk, from San Diego to the tip of Maine.

On this 3000-mile journey, some people start to walk faster, but in the end, they will slow down because they're out of strength, and it ultimately takes 7-8 to six months to finish.

Some will walk based on the weather. When the weather is good, they will walk 40 or even 50 miles in one day. When the weather is bad, they will hide in the tent, complain and wait for the weather. Such people will take about 8-10 months to complete the journey.

And the last category of people, they have their own goals, regardless of the weather condition, regardless of the mood, they only walk 20 miles a day, stop and rest after 20 miles a day, and ultimately, they only need five months to complete the journey.

The famous 20-mile rule, commonly known as the law of self-discipline, proposed by American psychologist, Jim Collins. It wants to tell people that: In an uncertain environment, acknowledge the uncertainty of external conditions and accept the fact that uncontrollable is the norm, but don't let the weather and road conditions that can change at any time tell you what to do, but let yourself tell yourself what to do!

That is to say, as long as you are in action every day, you can complete the plan every day without being discouraged. We are not blindly arrogant but also don’t self-defeating, and admit your current value.

The easiest way to measure whether a plan is right for your own pace is to make 3 plans a day, and if the plan is too large, reduce it by 1. Add 1 more if you can finish it easily, and add 1 more if the 4 plans can easily be completed, until your plan and your ability matches.

It's important to note that it's best to make your plan slightly higher than your ability, so you can challenge yourself every day instead of standing still.

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Number 2: Worry about the solution is not right, what to do when taken the wrong direction? Back to the story of Aaron, other than "so annoying", "anxiety", "too stressful", he also often said: I do not know whether the choice is good or bad." I don't know if it's right or wrong to do this?

To be honest, I don’t know....... No one can predict the future and make sure that all their decisions are right, but every smart person has the courage to try and know how to stop in time. If you don't know if you're doing it right, sit down and think about the impact it can bring to you.

Take out a piece of A4 paper, first write out the worst results, see if you can bear. If you can bear it, then throw away the worry and baggage, and take action. Then write down the benefits that it can bring to you, and it's best to print them out at your desk and wake up the power of your actions at all times.

Thinking is a good thing, but nothing is always elusive, doesn’t take any action is a bad thing. In addition, on the basis of action, learn more from professionals, socialize with peers. At the same time of working hard, look up at the changes in the outside world.

We often say, do not use tactical diligence to cover up strategic laziness. As if you have solved 10,000 subtraction arithmetic questions, although it looks very difficult, but this is only tactical diligence, you can never rely on it to learn calculus. Mechanical repetition allows you to quickly improve efficiency, but in the tactical promotion, it is also easy to make you strategically uncompetitive.

Therefore, you must strategize more in work, do not always blind yourself, communicate more with peers, get advice from seniors. Of course, there is no formula for growing this path, and there is no fixed track to run.

Perhaps we will go crooked, but your efforts won’t be wasted, a lot of knowledge and skills can be migrated, such as writing, even if I can not rely on writing to support my life, but the writing process of logical thinking training, the way of thinking polishing, can bring a lot of benefits to my next job. These are my thinking about solving problems too slowly and worrying about the wrong solution.

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Finally, back to the source of my anxiety, I think it is caused by too many problems and the difficulties. But isn't it a common thing to solve problems in our life?

We have different problems at different stages, and when we go to school, we are anxious about exams, and after graduation, we are bothered by work, and when we get married and have children, the trivialities and problems of the family pour into life.

To be honest, It's a nuisance about these problems, but to think differently, isn't it after we've solved one problem after another that we've found our value?

A person's competitiveness, in a way, is the ability to solve problems. Whoever can score with flying color in the exam in primary school can get into a better university. Those who can solve more problems at work has a higher salary and position, and those who can handle family relationships better when they get married and have children, their family are more harmonious.

Therefore, do not over-fear the existence of difficulties, although in the short term we do not have the ability to navigate the problems we faced, but at least from now on, do not be timid about the problems, do not fear the difficulties, understand the meaning and inevitability of their existence. Challenge them over and over again and find the value of life.

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