How can an introvert shine?steemCreated with Sketch.

in life •  19 days ago

Why I write this topic? Because I am also an introvert. I also had depression during high school. I still remember at that time, I don’t dare to communicate with people, truancy, weariness, poor memory, emotional agitation, feel that my life just ended and doomed.

It was a few years later, I suddenly realized why I felt that my life was coming to an end, because I had never really inspired my own inner passion, and I had never really unearthed the social energy lurking within myself, so what I wanted to share with you was how a person that troubled by bad emotions, a person who even has a social phobia, an introvert, doesn't like to talk, get along with the world.

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How can you activate your inner social energy? When it comes to introversion, I think we're going to think about just how many introverts we have around us, right? There is no uniform measurement standard for this. But we actually have some common descriptive language for introverts, let's take a look at it:

1. Not dare to say "NO".

2. Feel tired and hard to cope with business communication.

3) Prefer to be left alone. Prefer quiet place to release stress

4. a lot of workloads but the manager didn’t care.

5. Quiet voice, fear of giving a speech

6. Doesn’t care much about the outside world

If you are two of the above, you will certainly have an introverted tendency.

If you are four of the above, it means that you are an introvert. If you're all of the above, don't lose hope.

So the next thing I want to say is, what's the difference between introvert and extrovert? The extrovert has a strong desire to show, love to be in the limelight. It's actually a painful thing for you to keep an extrovert out of the limelight, and it's suffocating for him.

But unobtrusive is precisely the advantage of introverts because unobtrusive can make them feel and observe better. Extrovert like to say and think first, then do and think again, but introverts are the opposite. Introverts look as if they are slow to move, but they deal with a lot of things when they are steady and have a mind.

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For extroverts, they are smart and like to solve problems by means and methods, but extroverts often being careless at times, and being careful is the advantage of introverts.

Those difficult interpersonal relationships, introverts are easy to break through. Extroverts are as enthusiastic as fire, but everyone should know that enthusiasm comes quickly and goes fast.

Although it may seem indifferent to introverts, but they are always able to give you the right reassurance and warmth at the right time.

So in my opinion, what is the advantage of introverts? Introverts are unobtrusive sharp, able to think calmly, full of goodwill of sincerity, is just right warm.

So if you are also an introvert, you no longer need to look externally for ways to change yourself. All the method is in you, and I believe that every introvert can inspire inner energy, social energy, and enthusiasm. When you're inspired, you'll find that you'll be different from then on, and you'll even be more attractive than extroverts.

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So how can you activate the energy in your inner heart? How can you make yourself different from the past?

First, activate your psychological ownership. Psychological ownership means that you think that something or a job or a field is a part of yourself, and you pay attention to it, not to be relevant, but to be a part of yourself. People with strong psychological ownership are the qualities that every successful person has, and that's what I observe. But why do introverts always can’t speak well? It's because we cede our psychological ownership to someone else.

A very useful method, keep practicing. Find someone, and after everyone has dispersed, you can try it with your friend in your dorm room, and you practice with him. How do you practice? Talk with him, talk about anything, and talk for 10 minutes.

First, find three advantages on him. Second, find three things that both of you have common in; and provide him with ‘a help’ at the same time. I repeat, find three advantages, three things in common and ‘a help’ you can provide for him. This help can be a suggestion, it can also be a specific act of help, this is psychological ownership.

This is the ultimate exercise in our experience of psychological ownership, and if you do this kind of exercise a lot, you will soon find a good feeling of talking.

The second approach is called being good at listening and turning into active listening. A lot of people say: “you have to be good at listening and listening is important.” In my opinion, this is the right piece of crap. Because with my research and experience, good listening cannot help introverts to solve communication problems, we need to have the initiative to listen.

Being good at listening will only make you a good listener and a good person. But only through actively listening, proactively communicating your ideas, and reaching your own communication goals. So how to get active listening, the method is also very simple, three steps.

The first step, we first become a good listener and listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Second, try to gather more information and details during the chat process, then evaluate his likes and dislikes, and think about what your strengths and strengths are, and then find the right time to sell yourself. The third step, when your conversation is over, but your relationship is not over, keep up with the communication and let this person really become your network.

That's what I meant by active listening. The third method is to introduce yourself. Perhaps some might say, how can self-introduction activate my inner self? In fact, I think the communication problem is a cognitive problem, 90% of cognitive problems are self-cognition, that is, how you see yourself.

This matter is very important, and self-introduction is actually helping you to re-structure your self-worth system. How to introduce yourself? The easiest way to introduce yourself: What I'm doing, what I can do, and what I'm good at.

For example, I am a recent graduate, has organized the planning of more than 200 people youth volunteer activities, good at programming, won a remarkable performance in the International College Students Program Design competition.
By putting this information into this formula, others will know your value and your strengths immediately, and you will be very impressed and introduce yourself.

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It is fine to be an introvert, you block yourself from the world is also fine, but the most terrible thing is that you refuse to be changed, you refuse to believe in people and things around you, you don’t want to open yourself.

I hope that every introvert can actively look around for those who have strong social energy, that is, those who are outgoing.

One takes the behavior of one's company, if you stay near to an extrovert, you will also slowly become extrovert.

I would like to tell you that although we are born introverted, we must not take the initiative to put ourselves into the ranks of introverts, let alone become a stumbling block and a blocker to prevent ourselves from gaining happiness.

Seeing the fruits of victory for extroverted enthusiastic people, we hide in dark corners and complain, and we never want to do that again. What is the most powerful state of communication for introverts and the world to communicate? It's not about non-stop, it's not about just listening, it's about making the other person as the protagonist, but the right to serve is always in your hands.

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://walkinharmony.vornix.blog/2018/12/31/how-can-an-introvert-shine/

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I don't know if I am an introvert but certainly not an extrovert.
I have a social phobia even in the years that I have no appearance problem. But I just don't want to be in the company of others, they seem so prejudice and hostile to me. @walkinharmony