Get out of the comfort zone and meet a better self
Why is it so hard to change?
Because our old experience is ingrained.
Why is our old experience so strong?
This is because of one of the most important psychological mechanisms-- Psychological comfort zone
The essence of the psychological comfort zone: familiar coping style
I'm sure you must have heard the word "psychological comfort zone". Usually, we often say that if we want to change, we must walk out of our psychological comfort zone.
But what is the psychological comfort zone? You might think, "comfort zone" means a comfortable environment.
For example, someone works in a stable and comfortable job in a small city, although the work does not have much sense of achievement, but quite comfortable. So doesn’t want to challenge himself, breakthrough himself, this is psychological comfort zone.
But this is not all of it.
First, the psychological comfort zone does not necessarily mean comfort.
For an example, we all agree that the outside environment is more comfortable than the prison. But in the movie "Shawshank Redemption," Brooks doesn't feel that way.
He was held in prison for 50 years, which is almost a lifetime. When he learned that he was about to release, he is not only not full of joy, but almost mental collapse. Because he is already familiar with this prison, inseparable from this prison.
In order to keep himself in prison, Brooks does not hesitate to kill. He even chose to commit suicide when he was released from prison again.
Prison this environment, although uncomfortable, but this is his psychological comfort zone.
Secondly, the psychological comfort zone does not mean a familiar environment.
I have seen some people, after changing a location, changing a job, immediately change like completely reborn. I have also seen a lot of people, been to many countries, have done a lot of different jobs, but still has not changed.
Each of us carries our own long past, which is not in the environment, but in our minds, in our thoughts, we are interacting with the environment.
If these don’t change, only changes the environment, it is no use.
So, the real psychological comfort zone is not about the familiar environment, but the way we deal with the familiar environment.
Walk out of the psychological comfort zone, it is not that we walk out of the familiar environment, but to change our coping style.
So, what is the coping style?
For us, the coping style has two levels of meaning.
The first level, the behavior of the response, that is, the response to specific things.
For example: When facing danger, will you choose to fight or escape; When you meet difficulty at work, will you choose to solve the problems or delay.
The second level, the emotional response to the heart.
For example: The mother brings the child to the zoo, the child is afraid when sees the lion.
"I want to go home." A child cried.
B child was silent, but his leg was shivering.
C child, after look at the lion for a while, he asked his mother: "Can I spit on it?"
Three of children are afraid of lions, but the way they face their fear is not the same.
This is a way of coping with emotions.
In fact, the so-called coping style refers to how we deal with the difficult things in our lives.
Psychological Comfort Zone brings a sense of control
The psychological comfort zone is our most familiar and common way to deal with the environment and problems.
So, what is the benefit of this comfort zone, make us want to keep using it, even though we want to change, but always can’t change?
In short, the biggest benefit from comfort zone is the sense of control.
"Sense of Control" is the basic needs of everyone, but also the source of human security.
Most of our coping styles were initially used to deal with anxiety.
The more we feel threatened and anxious, the more we need a sense of control and the more we hold on to our existing coping styles.
And walking out of the comfort zone means that you put down the weapon you used to deal with your anxiety, and then face your anxieties and find new ways to adapt; this feeling is something that everyone can hardly bear.
So the avoidance of anxiety and the need for a sense of control often bring us back to the familiar coping style, which is why it is so hard to change.
Because we are most familiar with this kind of coping style, can let ourselves have the control and feel safe.
This is the most special in the psychological comfort zone, we will use our own coping style to build our life, rather than choose a suitable way of coping with life, day by day cycle of the past life.
By creating a new coping style, allows us to enjoy the happiness and joy of our existing lives, and accumulate new experiences from them.
This is the meaning of change and meets a better self at the same time.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://walkinharmony.vornix.blog/2018/09/04/get-out-of-the-comfort-zone-and-meet-a-better-self/