The LAW of ATTRACTION (LOA), what is it and how does it work?

From the perspective of Dr. TLK

I wrote in a previous post about LOA and how it can lead us to feel as if we are working with magic, which may sound unreliable to some. I also discussed the first principle of LOA and what it resembles in layman terms.

Today I would like to share another principle of LOA

The Second Principle of LOA

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If you know what you want, it is very important to be as clear and as specific about it. Don't just say "I want money!", "I want someone to love me!", "I want help!", ...etc
I will give you some examples why these are not specific enough and tricky.

"I want money!":

1 dollar (or less) is as money as 1 million dollar. The difference is in the amount but you will still need to do your share of work for both. (You may end up finding the 1$ lying on the ground, but you will have to walk around that location to find it)

""I want help!":

When I started my post-doctoral training in mid 2014, I joined a lab where the supervisor (I found out few months later) didn't like strong women. He hired women to be mainly beautiful faces of the lab and do/say what he wants them to do/say (to the point he will record himself speaking and ask them to memorize it).

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I was not that type of woman. I like to be neatly and cleanly dressed but I mostly care about how comfortable and efficient I work. I never cared to use make up, neither to dress fancy, so I was considered "Not a real (girly) girl!". I was also branded a "trouble maker" in the lab, because I like asking question and discussing results or orders. Ooops!

Anyhow, I ended up ranking top on the dark list of my supervisor after few months from the time I joined and I was very unhappy there. I didn't feel that I belonged to that place, neither I was having freedom to work and do any adequate research

It was the easter weekend, just few days before my birthday. My American friend wanted to visit the Notre-Dame Basilica Church in Montreal Old Port and asked if I would join her. I never was interested in churches as a religious entity, but I loved their architecture. At that time, I have already discarded any beliefs I had in "God" and any religious teaching I grew up with. Actually, I was doing everything possible that I wasn't supposed to do according to my religion.

SUNDAY, we went to the church and the minute we entered my friend went immediately to a secluded area to sit down, held her palms together and started praying. I didn't go after her to let her have her space.

I scanned the space, found a place shaded with a ceiling and went to sit there and admire the beautiful art...

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The moment I sat down and started looking at the sculptures and the ceiling, a stream of hot tears gushed down my face and I bit on my lips to stifle my cries. I cried silently holding my breath as I was trying not to make noise and gasped for air between tears. I took tissues out of my bag to dry my face, unsuccessful in my attempt I covered my face with the tissue in my hand and wept silently. All I could think of was "Please help me! If you are there. If you exist. Please help me! I am not happy. I am losing myself. I don't know what to do or where to go. Please help me!"

MONDAY, I went to see my supervisor to tell him about the collaboration I was able to secure with the principle investigator (PI) of another group. As I was telling my supervisor, excited an all, he cut me off and said:

"Why don't have that PI as your supervisor then?" Then continued "You have another month to give me your results, write a paper and look for another place if you want. I never committed to you more than a year to begin with." Despite the fact that when he hired me we agreed on a 2 year contract.

I felt devastated by his words. I know I wasn't happy there but to hear him kicking me out like this was unexpected, especially that on this day I came to him to tell him about a collaboration I secured with another group.

"Why do I have to deserve this? I asked you "God" for help and this is how you help me? Are you making fun of me? How cruel can you be?"

I was furious. I felt like a failure and like an imbecile! I was angry at myself for not abiding the rules and play by the politics and more angry to think that there is a "God" out there who would (or even care to) help me if I asked him sincerely. I felt lost and hopeless. "What am I going to do now? This will be very bad on my CV and my future career?". My supervisor was a well known name with lots of connections and collaborations. If he gave a bad word about me or someone knew that I was kicked from his lab, they will not take me in and risk his disapproval. He was that influential. I felt that I lost my whole future with those few words and I have no one in the whole world to turn to to help me...

Long story short:

The PI I secured collaboration with, became my supervisor :D
He turned to be THE MOST AMAZING SUPERVISOR/PERSON any fellow could have. He was very supportive and understanding, more like a friend and a mentor than a superior. Nonetheless, I continued to be unhappy in the research environment itself and now I finally decided to leave it for good.

Although, now I think, with the knowledge of hindsight, that I was super lucky that things ended this way, the happy results didn't keep me from wondering why things happened in such roundabout way! There are diffidently many other ways this could have ended, but none of them took place.

This incident happened before I knew about LOA. But after I read about LOA, everything made more sense to me. The fact I asked in anguish "Help me, I am not happy, I don't know what to do!" was not going to make my supervisor suddenly like me more or magically be happy with my efforts. Had I been more positive and asked instead"Help me leave this lab on good terms and find another lab where my supervisor and colleagues will accept me better" or "Help me deal with this issue in a positive way without burning bridges", I would have possibly had different results.

The other thing that we should take in consideration is the state of mind we are in at the time we ask for something. When I am in a negative state of mind, it will be hard for me to expect positive results or react positively to any outcome. Hence, I am basically priming myself to look at the dark side of the issue no matter what. The same applies to the positive and confident state of mind

The bottom line is: Whatever you asked for, it will be answered. However, if you are ambiguous and negative when you ask, you will may get answers that (on the surface) look ambiguous and negative, even if their final outcomes is positive. So you need to be careful to see the wisdom and reason behind what happened to you. It is your responsibility to make things positive or negative, so don't blame LOA or anyone else for that.

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I received this comment from one of the readers of my first LOA episode and would love to share it here with you

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.... Till next episode

Dr. The Leaping Koala :D

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