Witchy!

Today I took the little lady on a whirlwind tour of errands.

She gasped in awe at the gigantic sheds of Ikea as we swung in to pick up one of their amazing no-frills baby chairs before the weaning nonsense starts with the little boom on Sunday.

She yuk'd incredibly loudly at the hot dogs because they had a tough old skin on them. I refrained from telling her they were like old condoms filled with dead meat. She has plenty of time in her life to hear that kind of tosh.

Boof! We wheeked away to the gigantic supermarket chain who is evil but kind of accepts Bitcoin in a roundabout way.

Daddy, I want this!! was heard many times as we walked through its cunningly designed aisles. Each one seeming to end in some manner of kids/fat bubbas delights.

We swung away from there and into the nearby coffee shop where she happily played with her sticker magazine that I had bought her after she had screamed I was an Awful Daddy in the big supermarket.

I mean, I'm not awful but I can be weak.

Then after the sweet merciful brown goodness of the coffee worked its inevitable magic on me I zoomed her to the doctors for an ear check up as her hearing had been a bit funny since our combined illnesses last month.

In the waiting room, we sat and well... waited.

Whilst there I thought I would inquire about my final follow up check-up for my once gimpy foot. I had received a letter asking me to make an appointment but had kept forgetting to make one.

I asked the kind receptionist, a lovely lady with a welcoming happy face if she could make the appointment for me.

Of course dear. Let me get that for you.

My little daughter came up. With a hawk eye she watched the conversation I had with the receptionist who at all times was simply the most pleasant lady you could ever meet, a vast difference from your average Doctor's receptionist.

My appointment made, I took the little lady's hand and shepherded her back to the seating area.

Suddenly she saw the little water dispensing machine and announced that she was really thirsty.

No problem little lass!

I went to get her a drink of water but there were no cups. The little lady, being the diplomatic soul that she is let out a heart-wrenching wail.

But I'm soooo thirsty!!!!

The kindly receptionist lady stood up and waved us over.

Hi there, I have some cups here if you would like them.

She smiled at the little lady warmly.

I thanked her and gave the little lady a cup and we walked the few short feet to the water machine.

Wasn't that kind of the lady to offer us some cups lass?

I enquired. Hoping to elicit a thank you.

The little lady looked at me. Then she looked at the receptionist. Then back at me.

Well Daddy. It looks like she wasn't so WITCHY after all!

She said in a piercing voice.

I made a startled squawk and looked over at the receptionist hoping she hadn't heard. She had. The glare I was getting from her could have frozen the sun.

I dragged the little lady off to the furthest corner and hid.