The Facebook Thief

in #life7 years ago (edited)

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Have you met one? Even if you haven't I bet you have. The ones who will take photos of anything and wallop it up on Facebook. Usually to pretend that they are something they are not.

Today I had the fortune to be visited by my cousin. I hadn't seen her and her husband for over a year. The two of them descended upon my home, like a pair of locusts.

I had my best face on. I was feeling pretty spiffy. I was determined to have a good time and not get all grumpy. Sometimes my relatives bring out the worst in me you see. So for today I had polished up my diplomacy and was ready. Nothing could phase me, I would be the perfect host. Nothing could go wrong surely?

There she is! There is my amazing little cousin!!

Shrieked my lady boomcousin, Boomelia.

My little daughter who usually loved visitors was swiftly lifted up by Boomelia.

Quick, quick. Take a photo.

She urged her husband, passing her phone over. The snap was swiftly taken. Boomelia, hurriedly put down my daughter and whilst the rest of us made small talk was tapping away frantically at her phone.

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She finished what she was doing and started talking, oh it was wonderful to see us. Were we terribly excited to be having another baby? Etc etc etc. All the while ignoring my daughter whenever she asked a question.

My phone vibrated. I pulled it out for a quick look. Hmmph, it was just Facebook. I hardly use it these days and always get annoyed when I get a notification. I was about to put my phone away when I saw what the notification was.

Boomelia tagged you in a post.

I quickly checked the post. It was the photo of Boomelia and my little lass. The caption was

Love spending time with this one!

I found that to be a little ironic considering she actually spends no time with her but loves to steal moments with her to post on Facebook. Sure enough I had a quick look at the comments.

Omg, she's beautiful, yous look great.

You're the best cousin ever.

And so on.

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I looked for the flag icon but alas, Facebook isn't Steemit. Still, I was determined not to get grumpy even though I think my daughter has seen her a grand total of five times in four and a bit years. That hardly make her the best cousin ever.

We had dinner later. Boomelia insisted on another photo with my little lady. Grrr.

Don't Facebook that please?

The conversation stopped and everyone froze at my innocuous comment. Oops, I realised I had just broken one of the great taboos of the 21st century. I had asked someone not to put something on Facebook.

Why not?

Huffed Boomelia.

Because I don't want you to.

You've no right!

Eh, I think I have.

You haven't, I can't believe you even said that to me?

Boomelia's voice was rising and her face rather red. As if I had just winked and said show us yer knickers love? Her hubbie too was looking a little indignant. I asked my little lady if she would mind going upstairs to fetch her dinosaur jigsaw. She leapt at the chance and trotted off.

As soon as she was gone I dropped the smile.

Stop being a fucking arse.

I said diplomatically to Boomelia.

What, who are you calling an arse?

You, Facebooking photos of the little lady as if you are best buddies when in fact you never bother making the slightest effort to see her.

I do make the effort!

You don't so you are being an arse.

My little lady returned to the room with her dinosaur jigsaw and hostilities ceased. Later as we waved them off my daughter ran upstairs to see them drive onto the distance.

I looked at the good lady.

Sorry, was I out of order?

She shrugged.

Not at all. She's an arse.

Sort:  

Thank you for posting @meesterboom.

What an encounter of the worst kind.

Since you are a gentleman......of course you protect the ladies in your care....they are the better for it.

bleujay would have expected no less from you. Well done.

Wishing you and your family all the best. Cheers.

Hello my dear @bleujay! Thank you for stopping by. You are absolutely correct of course. A gentleman protects those close to his heart!

All the very best to you too :0)

i can relate to this :

my relatives bring out the worst in me ...

but rather not say anything further

as for the fb thief yes a lot of them like that
i saw my pic on one of my friend's post and it was shot by someone else in a group work somewhere last week and I specifically told my friends i don't want to be tagged nor seen on fb specially on that wall of their marketing achu - chu - chu but they still do without my permission
i still love them as my friends but i feel disrespected having seen my pics and face still being posted there
booooo
I can relate to how you feel - specially that your situation is - so faked - you're very kind!
Here, that's a no no
if they tell you dont you'd better not

I think your way sounds the best way. It is aborting enough when it ends up being yourself but she was just taking the biscuit. She always had been a troublesome one. Lol, the one good thing is that she is so self centred she probably could read this and not think it was her!

Arseome!

People @s0u1 and I interacted with on the 'tinternet back in the 90s (yes we did have 'tinternet back in the middle-ages!) never knew we had children.

I never posted about them in the chat rooms or forums. I never spoke about them at the meets we attended.

I don't want the weirdos* online knowing I have children thank you! ;)

*Present company (mostly) excepted of course ;)

I know exactly what you mean. There are some people that back in the day when I was on Facebook all the time I genuinely felt like I knew their kids!

Hehe, and you know, I remember the internet of back then. A wondrous thing in a show clunky way!

Hahaha! The 28k modem was improved to 33 and then 56 (I think).

These kids on here don't know they're born! ;) hahaha

May we never have to hear this again....

I hate that noise!! AAAARRGH, is imprinted on my mind from the bad days. Remember when a picture used to download line by line. Yeek!

We have a rule in my house. No photos. Ever! We had an instance a few years back when my neighbour was the same, posting anything and everything all over the internet. Then she had a little bambino. More photos than you could shake a stick at. To make a long story short, it turns out some big baby food conglomerate in China was using the Bambino's photo in all sorts of adverts. She had one heck of a time getting them to stop... So therefore no photos in my house or anywhere else without my express permission.

Goodness me, imagine finding out that. That's exactly what can happen. Sod that for a game of soldiers as they say!!

I understand how bad it feels to have some of this relatives who are so addicted to social media.

Some people these days have low self esteem that they just depend on social media likes and comments to raise their esteem!
They just want attention!

I found that to be a little ironic considering she actually spends no time with her but loves to steal moments with her to post on Facebook.

Some of these people need counselling!

Counseling and maybe a right good kick in the arse!!!

and am adding a slight upper-cut to that

Don't mind me i was a Boxer who never made it to stardom!

Hehe, there ain't much a good uppercut can't sort out!! :0D

may be you should try to be a little more nice to her. i have noticed that there are people who feels lonely and sad and they try to make themselves look happy by doing things. like posting happy pictures on social media. may be she is one of them or may be she is an arse, as you said. but she is family, so may be you should try to make a conversation with her. a gentle one.
but everything i am saying its just my opinion. i don't know her as you do. and i also get angry sometime by my few relatives.

If it was a stranger them perhaps I would be nicer. This one however I have known for a long time and know exactly what she is like!

then i hope you are totally right.

Wow! I love that you would confront her when most people would've looked the other way simply because they don't want to create an 'awkward' moment. That's really brave of you and totally applaudable. Well done! It's a shame that people are so keen to fake a life they don't live on social media; to steal others' precious moments and make it their own. Or worse, to claim to have 'wonderful' relationships with people they don't see enough or care for. I can't applaud you enough for doing what you did. It's not easy but you don't have to be bullied into accepting others posting photos of your child when they clearly don't care about the child.

I often do for the sake of peace let things go but when it comes to my wee lass I am quite different. It's quite refreshing actually!

It's funny you say that about relationships. I have noticed that all of the couples who post regularly about how special their man/woman is and how amazing their life is usually break up lol!!

Totally agree! They make up lies to look for social proof when they should simply learn to accept themselves and be comfortable in their own skin, their life choices and the people in it. Otherwise they should change things. Unfortunately, they think it's easier to live in a bubble of lies that will eventually drown them. To me that's simply exhausting!

It is exhausting. If they could learn to be happy with who they are and what they have got it would be a fine thing.!

Awkward moments created by us are a beautiful thing. Particularly when they make ardent arse relatives squeamish.

I agree with you especially with regard to privacy issues. I do not post pictures of my little one on FB due to security issue too...anyone can download the pic and use it as they want and parents have to protect their children...Steemit is the best because we all would have joined you Milord to flag the heck out of her post!!!! however only on your command Milord!!!!

I did miss the flag. It was my first response to think where the heck is the flag so I can show my disapproval!! Lol!!

Hahahah I agree with you. Hence why facebook is full of spams but you can report the particular post and they will remove it

I was sorely tempted to report it! I will do that if the second magically makes its way on :O)

I agree bud...you have to teach them a lesson before they learn not to post pictures of children on social media

I like where this is going, teach em a lesson. I am half filling a sock with dimes already, soon be cracking skulls! ;0)

Hahahaha ply MiLord , have mercy!!! do not crack skulls

You knows it dude! Sometimes they need a crackin!

I hate, HATE it when people do that!
And trust me I don't use the word hate a lot because it's a very negative word for me. Using pics like that to gain traffic.... Sad and just wrong!
I agree 100% with all your words... she's an arse!

I am completely with you. It's rare for me to hate anything but I do hate that. Simply to get likes and views. Shocking stuff!

i totally totally agree with you. BUT if they wanna STAY there on facebook i'm FINE with that too (but don't post pictures of relatives kids to gain SOCIAL TRACTION) ugh. RAGE.

Aw man I wish I could have word it like that. That is exactly what it was, to gain social traction!!!

I am happy if they stay there too, means I can post rants like this :0)

i rage when i see people saying that they can't wait until people from other social networks come here. erm, no thanks. they can stay exactly there. to 'that' crowd the internet IS facebook. i wish i had the coding skills to keep them constantly in conversations with AI bots they thought were family members, that would be so sweet.

Ha, that would be quite the thing. I am all for more and more users pouring in but I do hope a certain contingent stay where they are. O know some people who think exactly that, the internet is Amazon and Facebook. Yeek.

Hahahaha this made me laugh for real. Never actually thought of facebooks thieves before. Awesome man. Love when someone points out something I've never thought of (and I do have a tendency to think a lot) and makes me laugh at the same time. ;)

Hehe, it was the first term that came to mind!

Awesome name calling hehe :D I'll use this in real life :D

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