Getting older- How I really feel
Growing up the last thing you thing about is getting old, that doesn't hit you until you are closing in on the higher numbers. My biggest shock was hitting 40, when I was 18 I remember saying to a friend 40, wow that's old I'll never reach 40 40 came and left as the years flew by I sit here 52 years old looking back at being 40 thinking that was so long ago.
At 40 I wasn't housebound I could still drive the car so had a life out of the house, now I'm 52 totally housebound unless someone picks me up and takes me out. I have to admit being 40 I felt needed by my family, I could do things for them, pick them up, drop them off plus spend time out with them, now I am not needed at all, they all have there own life's, they come and go as they please, they look after themselves, they can even cook for themselves so making me redundant, but that feeling of being redundant is depressing.
My husband is talking about his works Christmas do and having a night out with the lads, my daughter is excited about making arrangements for her works Christmas do plus other nights out with friends, I smile and am happy for them but I have nothing to say, nothing to arrange and nothing to look forward too. I try to stay positive, its hard when I know my life isn't going to get any better.
I had plans for my future, I was claiming ESA Employment Support Allowance for over 30 years, it gave me a feeling of being someone, I contributed to my family plus I was saving for a mobility scooter so I can start having a reason to live again. The odd trip out with my girls, maybe a trip or 2 with hubby plus the odd walk with my dogs which I haven't been able to do for years and miss so much. Now they (Government) has decided I can work, now I am 10 x times worse with loads more problems they now decide I can go out and get a job even though I can't walk for more than a few steps and being in crippling pain most of the day. So now I don't get a penny, I am stuck in the house with my plans down the drain.
I know my Dr's have told me there's nothing more they can do, my knee is't going to get any better. I have asked for an amputation but advised not too as I am high risk of having phantom pain which they can do nothing about. So now I am thinking about where I will be in 10 years, how will I manage then, how much help will I need. Nothing exciting to look forward to, no plans to keep me motivated.
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I am keeping my head down mowing on. Thank you :)
If your housebound what you should do is spend alot of time on steemit! Posting, reading, upvoteing, curating, really get into it ! Learn all you can about it ! Its a hell of alot better to keep your mind busy ! And its a great way to bring in extra money and contribute to your household so you start feeling better about yourself! The more you learn and post in a postive way , the more people will follow you and upvote you, and suddenly you will occasionally even get some whale love !
But its not going to happen with a depressed attitude! So pick yourself up! Dust Yourself Off And Start all Over Again with a POSITIVE ATTITUDE! YOUcan do very well on steemit! But it wont happen overnight! NOW THATS AN ORDER SISTER !
Heres a link to some of the most popular people on Steemit! Start following some of them so their in your feed and you can earn money by upvoteing and curating on their posts! https://steemit.com/steemit/@stephenkendal/checkout-some-of-the-popular-ones-on-steemit-come-join-us-on-steemit-com-blog-vote-post-earn Now cheer up ! I want to see nothing but positive stuff from you starting tomorrow! GOOD LUCK! AND STEEM ON! ♨👭👱👱👭♨
Bldy h*ll your a bossy cow lol Me and Depression are very old friends, been together a very long time is not so easy to dust myself off but I will get through this or die trying
Haha! Sometimes a kick in the butt does wonders ! Lol ! The choice is yours! Good luck ! Steeming on ! 😉💙start following and upvoteing those on that list! I follow most of them ! And curate them! Its a big help! ♨😉♨
Ill give it a go thanks hun :)
This is the saddest post I have read here. I'm afraid it touches me right where I live and now I am sad too. Some days I only continue on out of curiosity as to what my son will do with his life. I find it is important for me to not think about the narrowing of options advancing age and disability have wrought.
Its def a struggle my only motivation has always been my family but now they are grown and moving on my thoughts are am i holding them back
I think that too. The last thing I want to be is a burden on others. I have purposely isolated myself in real life to prevent that. Of course, that only adds to the depression, but it's better than the alternative. Fortunately I have my disability check and can still tend to most of my own needs. But I can't drive (I have periods of disorientation) and had to stop going to school. That was the main goal of my personal life for the last 6 years and now even that is gone. Now social media and netflix are my whole life. I swore I would never be that guy.
I'm the same the only friends I have are the ones in my laptop. My life seems to be going one way and is isn't good
RS and UV for you.
Well, I had no idea of any of this as we have been chatting away on here for awhile now.
I am sad to say, that some of this I can relate to, I just cannot get into it online due to my stalkers and harassers I have, some pretty weird people inside and outside publicly funded AGENCIES is all I can say.
I guess this goes hand in hand w the family related post earlier a few days ago. I am not happy to read you are in this state. But I am glad that I know.
I will go find you on the twitter now. I do have family over there, so if you msg me and LMK where you are, I will find out who lives near you and see if they can visit once in awhile etc. You know how people are these days at times, so no promises.
I have no real family that gives a real damn about me for the most part, and that's the honest truth. The one I thought did, is the only one left that was worth making effort with and if their head is not in their phone, (they live an hour away) - then my needs come way down the list as far as respect goes, and all these other people in the computer clearly mean more to them than someone making efforts IRL with them.
I will be thinking of you. Find me online and message me. BarryDutton.com and if I do not receive a msg, I will let you know, as long as you tell me you sent it
Life can be cruel for some of us, just seems im getting a barral load at the mo. Things will look better tomorrow hopefully :)
I'll be 66 in January.
I'm have problems also (diabetes, obesity, can't see or hear so well any more, aches and pains, sleep apnea,...etc...etc..)
Old Age isn't for sisssies is it?
Don't let it get you down.
The alternative is worse.
Full Steem ahead.
Your so right, old age is no fun. Oce upon a time I was fit now everything is wrong with me
exercise and a plain old food diet will get you healthier than every government licenced pharmaceutical drug pushing doctor around, (not that it is any of my business); just my opinion and belief system . . .
[no offense intended]
They say it takes about ten years to get used to how old you are.
Old age is not for sissies. — Jimmy Stewart
When I bend over to tie my shoe laces, I look around to see if there is anything else to do while I'm down there. — George Burns
Good to see you again Crok.
Yeah the man lived to one hundred munching on cigars : )
That is the trouble with the modern world, all the greatest people are leaving and we tend to trend upwards in the percentages of merely 'human' after the passing of "people".
I love older people the youth of today are such drama queens.
And I would hate to be trying to work out lifes direction on how to live my one life in todays "no rules" society...
I was 45 when I finally started to grow up and I was well over 50 before I had matured into a semi useful person.
However I am not complaining, life is for living and my glass is always half full and never empty...
Right now my glass is over half full.
Life is for living and what you make of it; the best thing most people could do is work on being a better person and improving the human race...
Ok Lady grab yourself a brew and get ready for one hell of a long comment!
Right I know you are feeling crap right now and I don't blame you but I only wish you could see yourself through my eyes for a day. I'd lend them to you but i'm kind of attached to them so I'll just have to tell you instead.
I don't see a useless lump when we chat I never have, over the last few years I grew to think of everyone in our little facebook group as friends, but over the last few months I got to know you better through our conversations and your posts here.
When I am talking to you I'm talking to a woman who not only survived a rotton father and childhood but went on to raise beautiful well adjusted adults who are thriving and are just as tough as their mum all while she has been in inmense physical pain. That's no easy task.
You could have gave up years ago but you chose to keep going a few months ago you thought you wouldn't be able to do this whole steem thing and look at you now.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO!
And I will always be your very own personal cheerleader.
Just don't make me wear the uniform.
Ahhh shucks thank you. I owe you a lot for persevering with me when I'm at my lowest. Your a lovely person who amazes me in what you have gone through and nothing seems to be too much trouble Thank you. You could always make yourself some pompoms at least lol :)
ahh you don't owe me at all.
hmm pom poms I have enough yarn for knitted ones :D
Might be the next big thing lol yeah I do as I know I can be A pain lol
only when you put yourself down just because everytime you do it your making it harder for yourself to move forwards.
if you shake hands with 100 people in a day and one slaps you it's the slap you remember.
when you put yourself down you may as well be punching yourself in the face :(
I might be better off doing that would make me feel better :(
BOOM!
What is that? Lol
I decided awhile ago to make my own Hall of Fame up on here and I regularly started posting it as such here and there just to stir things up, get a laugh, make someone feel good. It is my own doing, so I can fire this out there whenever I want and I like it LOL
#RandomDriveByHOFPosts lol
Ahhhh got ya lol
Hi again
I found this post by @countryinspired -- thought I would come and let you read this, the post and suggestion are both nice. I hope you have a good day -
I am not sure you sleep much if I look at the time of your posts LOL!
https://steemit.com/books/@countryinspired/a-great-book-to-read-when-dealing-with-stress-and-anxiety#comments
Nope I'm not a good sleeper the pain keeps me awake. I'll have a read thank you :)
Had the in-laws over today; he is 89, she is 84 and I tell both of them and everyone else "you have no business being alive over 75 " (years of age, i mean in the conversation).
I love both of them as great people, but their day is done and over with and they should get on with the business of dying with dignity. I feel the tragic loss of that generation, those who built the nations, the freeways and skyscrapers etc.
Today we have inherited the wasteful "entitled" trust fund babies, those who feel they are perfection and everyone should look to them for inspiration. Frankly I am amazed every day I realise they had the common sense "the maker" gave a 'flea' simply to put clean underwear on.
This younger group owes no one any respect nor service but expects everyone and society as well to simply provide everything their little hearts desire. If something goes wrong in their 'connected' instant communications drama filled lives it is always someone else fault and never their own silliness that caused it.
I am not saying all of todays youth are simply a waste of good oxygen supporting just 99 % of them : )
Personally I break out into an anxiety fear sweat every time they go to use an electrical appliance ; )
Adult infants should not be allowed near modern gadgets like toasters or washing machines until they can pass a " common sense " licencing examination (similar to getting a car licence) ! ! !
I want to be gone by then lol don't want to become a burden
I want to be a burden on my kids; simply revenge for all they made me go through for them LOL :)
I get payback by embarrassing them lol
Those nude baby photos at weddings are always the best...
I save them for when boy friends visit :)
(nested 6 deep reply below)
Very appropriate, we should cooperate and collaborate and write a prefect parenting book :) lol...
I could never get my 4 year old to do what I needed her to do.
So for three years I threatened her with burying her under the clothes-line next to her brother Joshua who I buried there due to his intractable willpower and lack of compliance.
This threat kept her very obedient from the age of four till she was seven, then it seems she realised she did not actually have a deceased naughty brother...
That crazy dude stephen hawking's in the 1960's was given three years to live, he set out to become the worlds leading astrophysicist.
Those around him said he was crazy, he said then i have nothing to lose, he eventually got Sir Issac Newtons job...
Today some forty years after the medical experts said he would be dead and gone, he is one of the supposed leading authorities on Space/ Time and Black Holes etc in Astrophysics and cosmology.
I say he is supposedly the greatest world leading mind on such things simply because there are less than fifty other people who can understand whatever he is talking about . . .
This guy might know physics but can he do a wheelstand in his wheelchair ? ? ?
After all THAT would be IMPRESSIVE ! ! ! (just kidding).
I have flipped through this geniuses books and slammed them shut since to try and understand the math etc is likely to permanently damage my simpletons basic brain thought processes.
In other words if i FRY my brain cells I then only have my perosnality and good looks to rely upon in life ! ! !
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Hawking
He has a brain I Haven't well i have but it doesn't work lol
lol ;)