“One great thing about a life of positivity is that it comes with no regrets. So what is stopping you from giving it an honest try?” ― Edmond Mbiaka

If I were to hold on to regret for all the ‘mistakes’ I have made in my life, continuously beating myself up about them, then I would have spent an awfully large amount of time feeling sorry for myself and quite frankly, that seems like a terrible waste of the time that we have been afforded in this experience we call life.

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The other day I wrote a post called “UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME!” Which you can catch up on here if you so wish: https://steemit.com/life/@jaynie/unapologetically-me

The majority of the feedback on it was very positive – as, for the most part everybody grasped the message. However, I got a serious tongue lashing from a guy on another social media platform that I shared it on. He got so aggressive and bitter about what I had written, demanding that I stop filling people’s minds with my “rubbish”. He really was VERY upset about it. I eventually blocked him because there was nothing I was going to say that was going to make even an iota of difference.

But it did trigger a thought process…

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I don’t think he really understood what I was trying to say in that article, but nonetheless, one of the statements he made was that it is impossible to live unapologetically because regret is part of life.

…Wasn’t really my point in case, but I did understand what he was saying.

It is always fascinating to me how different minds will dissect the same piece of information and often end up with completely different results and opinions.

He saw it like this:

People make mistakes all through their lives, it is not possible to live without them and therefore “unapologetically” because there is always something that you would be “sorry for” or regret doing. That was it! A road to nowhere, a continuous circle of mistake after mistake and apology after apology…

I saw it like this:

People make mistakes all through their lives, it is not possible to live without them and therefore we need to change our perspective of them, no longer seeing them as mistakes but as opportunities to learn and grow.

Now, I am no rocket scientist – but I can VERY clearly see which one of those selections is a dead end and which one isn’t.

“I have tried to live my life with no regrets. Because regrets will become guilt in some cases, and guilt eats away at your sanity.” ― James Hauenstein

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My parents got divorced when I was 5years old and yes, it was a very painful part in all of our lives, as a family, we went through some very challenging times. After my divorce I dated a guy who had lost his mother to cancer and did not have a very good relationship with his dad. He asked me once “How can you still love your parents after everything they put you through?”

I answered: “how could I not?! – Marriage and parenting doesn’t come with a bloody handbook. They did their best and that is it. My son is two years old and I have already had to learn from several ‘mistakes’ I have made as a mother.” Sadly – he never did see past his anger towards his dad… not for as long as we dated anyway.

“Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.” ― John Dewey

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My point is – you are always offered a choice in life. If you are wronged, you can harbor anger and bitterness or you can forgive. When you make a mistake or do something you regret, you can either wallow in it, or you can look at what you can learn from it, so that you don’t do it again and in turn grow as an individual.

So in essence, my viewpoint is this – if the so called “mistake” has taught you something about yourself, life or circumstance, or has forced you to break a bad habit or step out of negative comfort zone – then was it really a mistake?

I certainly don’t think so.

“We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.” ― Rick Warren

32 years later in my life, after all the ‘mistakes’ of mine and others, I have an amazing relationship with both my parents, they have one of a kind friendship with each other. As siblings we are all very close, despite our contrasting personalities and so we continue to walk – embracing one another and every experience or ‘mistake’ we encounter along the way.

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Life, with all its hills and valleys – is an AMAZING teacher, if you are open to receive.

“Many times what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich

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