UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME!

in life •  2 years ago 

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I have decided to become unapologetically me.

I've realised that I am who I am and that is it. Like it or lump it. I'm not around to please anyone any more, and it's a huge relief. - Kristin Scott Thomas

I have spent a good portion of my life worrying what other people think and say about me - Dreading their “looming judgements” on my appearance, character, actions and more - Always leaving me feeling less than worthy, with an inclination to constantly want to justify myself.

Well, I am done!


Image credit: http://www.noreensumptercoach.com

As the years have passed and maturity has slowly crept its way into my life, I have begun to embrace “me”, as well as develop a healthy love for my character make-up, and all the little bits and pieces that form the unique individual that I am.

This perspective stretches from what others say and think about me through to what I say and think about myself.

Growing up, I was enormously self-conscious of my legs. Why? I have absolutely no bloody idea! Lol - because as an adult I have been educated to the fact that (according to opinion offered) I have a particularly good looking pair of legs – haha!


Image Credit: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com

This however, did not help me much growing up. I literally LIVED in jeans. You would absolutely NEVER see me in a skirt or a dress… I was so ridiculously ashamed of my legs that at school, when I was forced to wear a uniformed dress, I would attempt to tan my legs using old tea bags. I never told anybody about this. Not even my mother, I don’t think.

How utterly sad is that! – That from the age of 12 I had developed such an unhealthy and extreme distaste for my own body. That stayed with me, right through until my early twenties… It was only then, that I occasionally started to explore the world of dresses and “accept” the fact that I actually might look really good in one.

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Image Credit: https://quotefancy.com

These days, during the summer months, you will seldom see me in anything but really teeny shorts or a dress… although, mostly teeny shorts haha (more of a tom boy this one – plus shorts are just more practical! Lol)

I have finally reached a point where I am HAPPY with myself physically. I no longer die my strawberry blonde hair, I love it! I am no longer ashamed of my freckles either - they truly are kisses from the sun.

It is wonderfully liberating to reach such a healthy point of self-acceptance. It certainly took me long enough to get here – and I will NEVER allow ANYBODY to rob me of that again.


Image Credit: http://quotesology.com

Now that was one side of the coin.

The other side of the coin has been the objective to develop the same level of acceptance and self-love, internally. This part of the journey (not surprisingly) has proven to be a little more challenging. Life’s little (and not so little) knocks and bumps along the way tend to cause a bit of a “dance” with two steps forward, one step back.

As a young child (before I started to dislike myself physically), I was quite a confident and outspoken little girl. I won awards at school for the best speaker; I loved orals, speaking in front of people and engaging with others in general.

You would not get me to stand and speak to a hall full of people now, even if you paid me. Sadly, I have never regained that level of confidence. Although many people would assume me to be an extrovert, I am actually quite introverted.

Although, having said that – I suppose, writing and sharing here on Steemit is me, beginning to take those steps forward – be they baby steps.


Image Credit: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com

Now, I have covered both “SIDES of the coin”, but the compounding factor for both sides, is the EDGE of the coin…

The ever glaring opinions of others

The point, where your internal - and external confidence and self-acceptance (or lack thereof) meet. Like I said earlier in this post, I have always worried too much about the disapproval of others, irrespective of which part of me it was directed at.

Why should I feel like I have to apologise to anybody for ANYTHING about myself or my actions – unless they are in some way harmful or hurtful…? I shouldn’t and I won’t – anymore. I am not holding a gun to anybody’s head demanding that you like me, so if you don’t, then by all means, walk the other way.

I am also entitled to my opinions, without justification – just as everybody else is and I will continue to voice them.

I am living this life, UNAPOLOGETICALLY me.

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thank you very much :)

you seem to have a unique style, found you via @OCD / new follower / peace

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hehehehe - yeah... I am weird ;) thank you for the compliment and for taking the time to read my content. I have followed you so I can see how you compare in weirdness... hehehe - KIDDING! lol - Look forward to reading your content too x

Thank you for the support. it is ALWAYS appreciated.

Just Be You!

and I'll be Me!

And Everything can Evolve...Honestly!

Inspire the World!

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So VERY well said!!! xxx

Once again your writing touches me and I can relate - I am as white as snow white and was always so obsessed that I could not tan, and so fed up with people asking why are you so white? I also have an alopechia problem so about 10 hair left on my head which is getting less - another issue. Not to talk about the weight gain bla bla bla . But a few years back I started having this lightbulb moment - if you do not like what you see LOOK THE OTHER WAY!! I am much more than what you see on the outside . Thank you for your lovely writing - resteeming

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Absolutely @anneke - we are all SO much more than what is perceived by the eye. Gosh, we are way too hard on ourselves aren't we...

Thank you as always for the lovely feedback xxx

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Way too hard - meantime down the road the very chubby neighbour is mowing his lawn without a shirt and too small shorts - men do not seem to mind a lot hahahaha

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me thinks men got it right. lol

I personally love the porcelain skin lol gotta be comfortable with who you are, know how to please yourself. How can anybody add happiness to someone else's life if they don't know happiness themselves?

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so. very. true. I am not quite as porcelain as I used to be haha... turns out, (now that my skin actually sees the sun) that I actually tan really well. haha ;)

Very interesting, excellent post, Regards!

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thank you :)

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thank you - I appreciate the positive feedback

About accepting ourselves, when it is about me, I am only taking in consideration one person's opinion and that person is me. If I am happy with myself the way I am, then I accept myself like that and I do not care about others opinions. Now, many would say that this is a narcissistic approach of life maybe. But when they say this, I take the same approach, so if I am happy with myself being a little bit narcissistic then I accept myself like this. After all, I am one of the millennials generation and we are anyway considered narcissistic.
Great Article though !! Keep up the good job, I'll continue to follow you for more.

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thanks for the feedback. :) Very true about what "they say" - but "they" perhaps dont have a true understanding what healthy SELF-LOVE is... because it has absolutely NOTHING to do with ego, nor narcissism. :)

Appreciate your support x

I like this. This is basically saying love yourself for who you are because you'll be with yourself for a long time!

I'm the same. I spent the whole of my youth and twenties worrying about what people thought of me, even the ones that I didn't like. I would literally move mountains to try and change the perceptions of others towards me.

In my thirties I began to realise that perhaps whatever I do won't matter. People will either love me or hate me irrespective of what I do. I then began to focus internally and how I see myself. Turns out I had spent so many years giving love to other people that I had forgotten about lil ol me :) - so I changed that

I really resonated with this. Thanks for the quality content. When I was in my teens, I suffered from an eating disorder. I wish I'd realised everything you just wrote early on but there was no internet then. I'm fine now but it took a long time to get rid of. So yes, be yourself unashamedly - Resteem for you :)

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I am so glad that this spoke to you. My entire for writing on this platform was to try and inspire people - so that means a lot to me!!! Wonderful to know that you too have overcome such a DIFFICULT challenge.... because it is.

Thank you again for the amazing input.

Much love xxx

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Thank you for your kind comment.

Truly an Inspiring testimonial !! Following ...

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Thank you so much @primal-buddhist. I really appreciate that positive response and the support. Have followed back and I look forward to seeing your work too. Much love xxx

You never have to explain who you are. Great post.

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so true hey, its a pity it often takes so much of our lives to realise this hehe :)

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Pure awesomeness my friend. Cheers!!! and THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!!!

Namaste

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what a lovely response. thank you so much. Namaste xxx

Great post! Its essential to accept yourself and not let other people define you or hold you back from being the true you

True, there is no point of hiding yourself. Afterall, we all are miracles. :)
I liked your article, so much that I even mentioned you in a similiar post of mine.
Here is the link to it.
https://steemit.com/inspiration/@himshweta/disclosing-my-dark-sides

Feel free to check it out.
Cheers
Himshweta

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what a lovely comment and such a kind gesture. Thank you so much... going to read it now!

by the way
Life is peaceful in some ways
There is no love between man and woman ever

"I would attempt to tan my legs using old tea bags." That made me smile! Awesome post congrats on getting an upvote from @sweetsssj on this post within the first 24 hours!

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Thanks @jerrybanfield - and hehehe yes, I guess that does sound somewhat humorous. haha :) and yes, I was thrilled with that!!! :)

Thanks for the feedback! Much appreciated as always.

Great post, I really enjoyed reading it. In my case the older I get the less I really care what your opinion of me is. Now in my mid thirties I am just who I am, deal with it lol. I also get the introvert aspect. I can find some social settings just exhausting due to being out of my comfort zone. I haven't really figured out a great way to deal with my introvertism (my word).

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we sound pretty similar in that respect :) and yes... as I always like to joke with my mom... older people are really good at not giving a shit. haha!) "let it all hang out" lol - With age comes experience... :)

Thanks for a lovely comment :)

An interesting read as usual @jaynie

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Thanks hon @shlimmm :)

This post received a 2.9% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @jaynie! For more information, click here!

There is no better way to live than "authentically". Its freeing. Especially in our society where everyone and their brother feel like they have a right to an opinion on everyone else and their life! Be you. Do you and never apologize for doing so! Followed for this post alone. This was very well written and very relatable

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that's a real compliment @inkdncurvy thank you! I appreciate the follow and the feedback on my post.

As for what you said - yip! spot on. People spend a whole lot of time talking these days and nowhere near enough listening!

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Most people listen to respond and not to hear, a sad truth really lol

I was gripped to your post and love how open and honest you are? There is something in it that everyone can relate to. I am looking forward to your next post.

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Thank you @jonesgbpod - that means a lot! xxx

Good read! I learned to look inward for acceptance a good while ago; however, I'm now kind of struck in the stage of trying to figure out what I want out of myself :P Glad you're making your way through your forest of self identity.

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Thank you! It is all a process I suppose... it will come to you at the right time :) Thank you for the lovely feedback - always appreciated.

Excellent post jaynile - I really enjoyed it and guess I must re-read it soon.

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Thank you :)

Nom nom nomnonommnom.

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om nom nom nom :)

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Nom noms...