Passion The Fire inside Me
Anger makes me lighten up
This isn’t a rant, although I have a tendency to convert things into rants even if they weren’t supposed to be ones. You may have noticed that I do rant, a lot. You may also wonder why do I rant so frigging much? I am a passionate person. Even if I seemingly don’t give a flying cunt about things, I wouldn’t rant if I wouldn’t care. I think way too much. And when things don’t seem logical to me, they make me annoyed. I try to rationalize things to extreme and when that’s not working a little spark in me lightens up and become a bonfire.
Anger is considered as negative feeling in general. I disagree heavily. Anger is something that keeps me running towards my goals, it is something with great power to harness in use. Bitterness and jealousy are considered things that will eat you from inside, and some seem to think anger is also one of those feelings that will eat you alive. But I think everything depends how you choose to use these emotions. If you let them rule you, or do you use them to power up your own drive so you can become a better version of you?
Jealousy fuels my fire
This is something I have written also before. Jealousy as a feeling doesn’t tell much from the person you feel jealousy towards. Only that you seem to think that the other person have something you think you have also rightness to have, isn’t that so?
But when we think a little bit further, doesn’t jealousy tell more about us wanting something similar. I feel that we all have option to control our feelings. When I feel jealousy I know that I value that success what the other person has achieved. So, jealousy has a very little to do with the other person in general.
All the feelings you might consider "negative" are just fuel for my fire, the passion I have in me.
I keep feeding my fire, as it motivates me to reach my goals and be the ultimate version of myself. Sometimes I feed the flame with love, but for me there is also other powerful emotions I can harness to my use. Like greed, anger, jealousy and bitterness. When taking out of context those feelings indeed are "negative" but when you break them into little pieces, you realize that they are powered mostly because love, and admiration. Without admiration I don’t feel envy nor bitterness. Without love I don’t feel angry.
Nothingness smothers my flame
There are things I used to be passionate about. Used to. But circumstances ended up smothering the spark and it never lightened up anymore. That’s the case, for now at least. I used to be passionate about teaching, but when I realized that I was wasting my time and knowledge to ignorant people, I lost the joy. At first the joy turned into anger. That anger used to power the flame for a long time. I can be stubborn as fuck so, only the knowledge of the flame slowly dying in me was enough reason to feed it. But nothing is forever and when also the anger run out there was nothing to keep the spark alive.
If you don’t feed the passion inside you, it will die. Slowly and surely it keeps getting smaller and smaller until it dies.
I want that people feel something when their lives collides into mine. It doesn’t have to be love, or joy, or happiness. I’m perfectly fine with hate, envy, anger and spite. As long as you feel something. The most horrible thing for me is when there is nothing there. Only blanc. It is the sign that nothing matters anymore. When you are too tired to even feel anger and spite you have given up. And if somebody gives up there is nothing to do anymore, you can’t fix when the emotion is totally gone.
You may try it, and you are totally free to do it, But I think that if you try to power your life and passion only with nice and positive things, you end up in deep depression. Because life isn’t all happiness and joy. Mostly life is just coping with different amounts of misery and hell. So I choose to harness also those things to power up my flame. If it means that I end up ranting a lot or swearing like a pirate, so be it. At least I has passion towards my life.
you are so damn successful. I can't allow this. if this keeps up I will put a lot of garlic inside your food...and I will eat even more garlic myself. Just in case
"I want that people feel something when their lives collides into mine."
And I want to leave a mark. So people would remember me many years after my death. They may not remember what I said. Or even how I looked. That is fine. But I do hope that they will remember my art. Because my art is one of the few things I am completely serious about.
I see that you too are an INTP (-A) ...
I think there is too much flexibility in that test. I ended up being INTP (-T) when I ordinarily test as INTJ. I have been close to colliding with people too many times in my life. One time when I was a teenager I was visiting someone at a children's hospital in Toronto (Canada). I had taken the stairs and came out on the wrong floor. When I stepped through the door I stepped directly into a reception line for Queen Fabiola of Belgium who was making a state visit.
Take anything that I say about art with healthy skepticism. I am not an artist nor formally studied it beyond primary school. Any art that has survived beyond the artist only does so because it evokes emotion and discussion in multiple generations of artists. In Canada there was a movement called the Group of Seven. This is an example of one of the artists:
Franklin Carmichael: North Shore, Lake Superior
Unfortunately he is remembered only by people who are into art but were you aware of him before this?
For that matter do you remember the name of the artist who drew this?
Ug the Caveman: Portrait of My Inlaws
I think the most any artist can do is to keep doing his art and at the end of the day say that you have lived.
true enough. at the end of the day even that goal of being remembered is relative. No matter what I will do I will not be remembered by a majority of people. Some people simply don't care about art. Others might be interested in art but still don't like my works. Or they will forget me and my art due to memory loss. So in reality I can only hope that my creativity will have an impact for some people.
I use the metaphor of life being a river quite often. Sometimes a word, or action and yes even a piece of art is like a pebble being dropped in a river. Unlike a pool where a ripple can be seen moving outward, the ripple in a river adds to other ripples and its effect might not occur until it has moved far downstream. Perhaps someone sees one of your works (or discusses your work) and that inspires someone to perform some other action (write a poem, play, tell a joke). This continues on and on passing this "ripple" down through time. Finally we see the scene of the last man on Earth on his deathbed. He gasps his last breaths and says "Silver Eye".
Consider the following two images.
Source
Source
These were created by two distant relatives of the Franklin Carmichael (mentioned above) whom I doubt are aware of their connection to him. Perhaps it isn't your particular artwork which gets transferred but your genetic code containing the love of concept of art.
that is nice, positive way to look at things. I agree that I can't foresee everything. It is possible to influence someone's life without even knowing about it.
I think that everyone wants to leave a mark. Or at least their should. That makes you try harder to succeed and that drive and passion will feed that flame.
The best thing about haters is I get to live in their heads, rent-free.
Oh my, a penthouse view and a jacuzzi? You shouldn't have!
You are quite right that anyone who is living a real life will have haters and lovers. Just discard the first and enjoy the last :)
Burn on.
Rent-free penthouse, with a jacuzzi, you guys must love me for real! <3
People are way too clingy towards happiness and joy. What’s wrong with a little hate every now and then 😏
Hi escapist. Another good post.I think you are a passionate person and the anger and jealousy you harness is not a weakness but can be your strength. You are at least alive having these emotions and it makes you who you are. I know some people who don't get upset or angry but they lack emotion and in my eyes are half dead.
Global warming?
Love your honesty! There are many interesting points in here. I see what you are after here have been thinking about same thoughts. Personally I came to conclusion that yes negative emotion can be very motivational to do certain thinks and they are very powerful emotions indeed. I remember when I was a teen I used to beat the shit out of the drums when I had rough days or I felt anxious. I loved to listen NIRVANA and Dave Grohl style of playing drums and I am glad that we had drums in my basement the result is that now I can play drums and didn't get physical with anyone and got my self in the trouble. So it is really important to use the energy to something constructive like art, music, sport or something to release this energy. Enjoyed your post so thank you for that!
P.S I picked this post on my daily pick list in my latest post: WCIDFY #1
Indeed they are. I hate to think that I "release" energy, seems such waste, I think I'm leading it to better use. My point of view in life tends to be maximal effectiveness so this way of thinking also mirrors it. Glad to hear you liked it ! I try to calm my honesty a little bit every now and then, it is quite straight forward and brutal :D But I'm pleased if it amuses the crowd.
Passion is a great thing and yes I agree that anger can be redirected into a drive to achieve a positive goal, but that takes a strong person and judging by your drive and self confidence, you can pull this off. Now go kick some ass
Kicking some asses is my favorite thing to do! Feeling a little jelly is normal, but for me it is just gas to my flame to be that and better. I rarely take "no" for an answer when I want something
Congratulations @escapist! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOP