NEW YEAR, NEW RESOLUTIONS. DO THEY WORK?

in #life6 years ago
111.jpgLet me just start this post by wishing all Steemit users and followers a LATE very Happy New Year! May 2019 be YOUR year! Your year to improve one’s self, to earn more, to achieve more and to love more too!

INTRODUCTION

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Why am I late with my New Year’s wish and post you may ask? New Year’s was about two weeks ago! Well, let’s just say “to procrastinate less” is MY new year’s resolution!

So, back to the topic at hand. We’ve all heard the same old mantra before that roughly goes “new year, new me” or something similar along the lines. A brand new year to “renew” oneself, to “reevaluate” one’s life choices, goals, and etc. With a simple Google search, you’ll find tons of online articles that offer solutions on how to achieve or rather, “maintain” your resolutions for the new year ahead.

AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

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With all those resources at one’s finger tips though, I’m curious to know if they actually do work? How many of us can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that “yes! I did keep my resolutions, and I did follow through on them”. Not many I think, myself included of course. Why is this however? Why aren’t we able to keep our resolutions, though we tell ourselves that we can and we will! Hell, even those online articles are telling you that “you can and you will!”

Maybe I’m missing something? Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong? If anyone has any positive experience on keeping their resolutions and following through on it, please do share in the comments below. Im curious to know!

MOTIVATION

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In my humble opinion, I don’t think making and keeping new year’s resolution work mainly because it happens due to “extrinsic motivation” as oppose to it being an “intrinsic motivation” instead.

An extrinsic motivation is basically a motivation that is mainly driven by external rewards such as money, fame or one’s psychical appearance to name a few. Example: trying to achieve a certain goal based on the fact that the end goal would bring you more money or more fame.

Now, in the long run, we are bound to “burn out” as all these are not ‘real’ values that would bring us true happiness would it? And after awhile, you just stop doing it.

Now, maybe if we tried to achieve these resolutions or goals based on an “intrinsic motivation”, it might just work instead. Why? An intrinsic motivation is based on a motivation that derives from the individual itself. Doing something out of internal passion or desire for instance, without thinking of the “reward” at the very end of it. The reward is the fact that you are enjoying “reading that book for the storytelling part of it, or working out because you enjoy working out and you know that it is good for your overall mental and psychical health and not just to look good”.

MY OWN TWO CENTS

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I’m in no way an expert in psychology, I’m just trying to share my two cents worth regarding this topic as the new year just rolled around the corner. And I think intrinsic and extrinsic motivations are so fascinating as we can apply this type of “motivation” to almost everything we do in our daily life.

At the end of the day though, regardless of the type of motivation is used to achieve your goal, we can always try to better ourselves in on way or another. To achieve more, to do more, to love more. And in my personal opinion, I don’t think we need 365 days as an EXACT measure. Start with micro goals and resolutions, and slowly work your way up to macro goals. Another sure fire way to at least achieve something you’ve written on your list.

RESOLUTIONS, GOALS or TARGETS?

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(pic source: http://teaching.monster.com)And I would like to ask each one of you one final question. What does work for you and how do you personally understand the meaning of those 3 words?

Based on my current life experience and observations I would say that the majority of people are sticking to resolutions and almost automatically they treat them as "wishes".

I strongly believe that setting up goals and targets is more efficient. What would be your opinion on that issue? I would seriously love to know how other people function, what motivates them and if they focus on following their resolutions or setting up goals and targets?

Please do share your thoughts with me. Would love to know what you think about this topic :)

I read and reply to ALL comments. Always.

Yours
Piotr

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I have one resolution that I renew each year. My resolution is: get through the year without murdering anybody. 100% success rate … so far.

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I've taken on my friends new years resolution to no longer have new years resolutions, thus granting me a 100% success rate moving forward. I'm glad that others are thinking up 100% success rate resolutions. This one is perfect.

Your Anti-Resolution resolution wins the paradox award.

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That's very unique resolution @bitfiend :)

Thx for dropping by buddy
Piotr

@bitfriend.....🤣🤣🤣What more can I say? Great resolution and no waste of time as well!

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People must really perturb you if that is your resolution each year... lol, thanks for the laugh.

People I like, resolutions not so much ;)

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@eturnerx

My resolution is: get through the year without murdering anybody. 100% success rate … so far.

Congratulations ... but how much have you really challenged yourself? Have you, for example, ever met a STEEM Whale or Witness in person. Your constraint in such circumstance would be indeed worthy of praise. :-)

Quill

Dear @quillfire

Have you, for example, ever met a STEEM Whale or Witness in person

What about you? I dont think most of those people would bother to even talk to someone with small SP. That's how I see "big players" here.

Cheers
Piotr

@crypto.piotr,

I have had a couple of superficial communications with a couple of Whales and a Hell of a dust-up with a Witness Group (4 members) regarding proposed reforms to the blockchain ... they DO NOT want Rules of Conduct that would prevent vote selling/buying.

The value of an idea is independent of the pedigree of its author ... and that is one of the huge dangers of the STEEM/Steemit model. The big players are big players (with perhaps a small number of exceptions) because they were miners or early adopters ... essentially, they were in the right place at the right time. Hence ... techies.

Being able to write Python is but a fraction of the knowledge required to effectively manage a cryptocurrency. The knowledge-base amongst Whales and Witnesses is EXTREMELY skewed towards IT and noticeably deficient in basic business management skills. I used to manage of couple of hedge funds (one a currency-trading fund) and am very familiar with the financial, economic and legal issues that will effect STEEM but which have nothing to do with 'coding.' These issues are every bit as important, if not more so, than DApps ... and yet they are being largely ignored.

For example, SMT's will ABSOLUTELY be considered securities by the SEC and other world securities agencies. And yet, people still think that they'll just pay a dollar, start a SMT and do an ICO. The utterly ignorant think that they won't be subject to SEC jurisdiction just because they don't want to be ... as if, somehow, it will be "their choice" (ignorant Anarchist ideological baloney). This is off-the-scale amateurishness. It costs tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees to set up even the simplest of non-US offshore structures and once you involve securities, that amount increases exponentially.

The US government has a plethora of ways to "establish jurisdiction" and has an extremely long and successful history of doing so. All of the US-based Witnesses, nodes and users .... not to mention Steemit Inc.'s US residence ... will be more than enough to establish a nexus.

I'm not being mean for the sake of being mean. I love Steemit and desperately want it to succeed. But a level of professionalism (and realism), that is at present wholly absent, will be required if it is to survive.

Quill

You are exactly right. Basically the saving grace for Steem right now is that it is such a small bit player that it is under the radar of SEC / fed or at least is not any kind of priority in comparison to scam ICOs and exchanges playing fast and loose with the rules.

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That's a good point @carlgnash

I also was wondering if this is not Blessing for Steemit that it's just so very small ((still)

@Quill Sir

Extensively covered all the problems that were being faced by Steemit.

"....a level of professionalism (and realism), that is at present wholly absent, will be required if it is to survive."

My opinion is if all the whales would have taken a New Year Resolution to become DOLPHINS, then the Steemit will become FAMEit!

LIVE AND LET LIVE sort of situation must come in Steemit or else anything may happen......

@Quill Sir, with this commanding comment, you've just went in for the Kill!

Hats off!

@marvyinnovation,

It's nice to see that there are some fellow travelers out there. Thank you for this most generous commentary.

Drop by my blog anytime ... it's a hotbed of smart folks ... and, we could always use one more. Steel sharpens steel.

Speaking of "could use one more" ... (time is short).

https://steemit.com/powerhousecreatives/@quillfire/measured-our-mettle-vote-10-000-steem-delegation

(And never mind about calling me, "Sir." My friends call me, "Quill.")

Quill

Dear @quillfire

I would like to thank you for another amazing comment. I appreciate all the time you invested into replying to me.

Yours
Piotr

I've met worse. Why in particular the whales and witnesses though?

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@eturnerx,

Venting.

85% of SP (limited upvoting capital) is owned by Whales & Orcas. Most of such SP is being delegated to bidbots and other game-rigging mechanisms in an effort to generate Passive Income (interest) instead of Curation Awards. This, of course, destroys the entire concept upon which Steemit is predicated ... that there will be a correlation between the production of Quality Content and Compensation.

And so, Steemit slowly dies. The people who could change this, the Whales and Witnesses, are, of course, the very people who own the bidbots. Ironically, they are also the ones who have the most to lose ... but as long as someone else is doing it, so too will they.

And hence, they all sit around watching the price of STEEM spiral downward, in direct correlation with the number of declining active users. As STEEM is an inflationary currency (the Reward Pool increases the Monetary Supply, thereby decreasing the price of STEEM), an increasing user-base is the fundamental condition upon which all else depends (new users are required to sop up the newly issued currency to negate the inflationary effect).

What is the only thing that sets Steemit apart from the multitude of other competing social media platforms ... and hence, the magnet that attracts new users? Compensation for Content. But such compensation is entirely dependent upon how the Whale/Orca SP (85% of the total) is deployed. Such massive SP diversion away from its intended purpose prevents authors (and professional curators) from earning anything substantial based up Quality Content creation/curation. Either cheat, work for next to nothing ... or leave.

This is not a winning formula.

And yet, instead of enacting the obvious remedy ... killing the vote-buying/selling mechanisms ... all we hear from Whales and Witnesses is stupid Anarchist ideological mantras: "No Rulers, No Rules;" "Decentralization;" "Everyone Gets To Vote Their Stake" ... as if mouthing such ideological pablum does anything to address the underlying problem.

STEEM/Steemit is a Killer App ... that is being killed off by the very people who have the most to gain from it living ... all in the service of short-term self-interest and 'ideological purity' ... Satoshi's Dream. Adoption of common sense "Rules of Conduct" ... to stop the flagrant cheating ... would be akin, it is argued, to communism, fascism and totalitarian control.

Quill

Hi @quillfire

And so, Steemit slowly dies.

Steemit only dies in eyes of those who are interested in monetary rewards. It's still the best platform to build influence within crypto space out there.

Plus communities here and high level of engagement are the reason why this platform will not die anytime soon. There is simply nothing better that could replace Steemit and push it into "shadows".

What is the only thing that sets Steemit apart from the multitude of other competing social media platforms ... and hence, the magnet that attracts new users? Compensation for Content.

Absolutely not.

Steemit allows me to target audience better than any platform out there. Mostly because I can scan STEEM blockchain and easily find content creators that are valuable for me.

More and more people and businesses seem to slowly realize that this is the only platform (currently) out there which still enjoys good traffic and is allowing people to engage with each other.

Those who are here because of "compensation" and rewards will never last very long.

Yours
Piotr

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@quillfire You might be interested in projects like @steembasicincome, curation efforts like @curie and the various communities that often include curation and mutual support as part of them.
I've written before that there is no objective measures of quality that a blockchain can enforce. That leaves judgement of quality to somebody's audience. A mutual co-audience is roughly what I'd call a community. It's the communities that need to gain in power.
To that end, I support community builders via sponsorship to @msp-makeaminnow and I also am working on @we-are (see @we-are-one for the blog) to help communities get technical tools and access to SP. @we-are is in closed trial and currently supports around 1500 members.
That's mostly what I'm involved in. Can't say I'm innocent on the bidbot front myself - I do need to make an income until I can build my audience enough to earn from posting alone. So, I can somewhat sympathise with people who go that way. But, a big chunk of my steem networth is in community building because community is everything.
I might need some help too.

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Hi again @eturnerx

I've noticed that many people downvoted your comment. Strange. Are you having some flag war going on here on Steemit? Just curious

Yours
Piotr

I seem to have disturbed an insect nest. Unless I'm told, no way to know for sure. On the plus side, it means I'm finally famous enough to have enemies.

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Hahaha @eturnerx

I'm not sure if you're for real or if it kind of joke, but you made me laugh quite bad :)

Hope you will keep 100% rate until end of your days,
Piotr

You're self discipline is an inspiration to all!

Hi, i receive your internal message.
I believe that target and goals works better. Also i agree wirh you that inteinsec and extrinsec are fascibatibg, but i also believe that the social scenery have a strong influence too. That is conditionated.
Great post, i give you mt support

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Dear @reinaldoverdu

I believe that target and goals works bette

Definetly we're on the same page my friend. Im very goal orientated person and I believe this is more efficient way of achieving anything.

Yours
Piotr

Hey there! We’ve always thought that there’s no need for a new year to set new goals, resolutions, targets or anything in between. Each new day is a chance to change for better! ❤️

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I dont think we ever had a chance to get to know each other. Great comment @travellit

We’ve always thought that there’s no need for a new year to set new goals, resolutions, targets or anything in between

So you never set goals and targets for new year? At all? :)

Cheers
Piotr

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Resolutions are worthless IMO. They have nothing behind them other then empty words with plan for action on how to achieve them. To achieve anything worth achieving in life you need written goals with a plan of action on how you will achieve the goals.

The plan of action should be broken down to what you will do daily, weekly, and monthly to achieve your goal.

The goal also needs to be realistic or you will easily justify why you give up..."oh I wasn't ever going to actually be able to loose 50 pounds, what was I thinking". But if you have a goal of loosing 24 pounds this year and 2 per month which is 1/2 pound a week you have something that is easily tracked and very realistic (assuming you need to loose that much weight). From there you need to know how many calories that means you need to remove from your diet or to burn each day that you currently aren't. 3500 calories is about 1 pound, or 1750 calories for 1/2 pound, or removing 250 calories per day from your current diet.

Wait, 250 calories a day isn't that bad right? A 12oz can of Coke is 150 calories and walking 1 mile for an 180 pound person and you have that. So skip 1 soda and walk 1 mile per day and in a year it's 24 pounds lost.

This is a real Goal with a Real Action Plan. It's also something that easily can become a habit. Once you see the changes to your body in a few weeks you will start walking a little further and likely make a few other good decisions each day for your diet.

This all applies to any part of your life, but since so many people think about their weight at this time of year I figured it was a good example.


Ok that turned into way to long of a comment, going to need to reuse some of that for a post...lol.


BTW, I think below is a quick edit for you.

Based on my current life experience and observations I would say that the majority of people are sticking to resolutions and almost automatically they treat them as "wishes".

I'm guessing you meant aren't

Resolutions are worthless IMO.

It seem that we're on the same page.

The goal also needs to be realistic or you will easily justify why you give up

You nailed it!

BIG thx for your great comment thedarkhorse. I appreciate it a lot.

I was also wondering how do you handle stress and frustration once you realize that you cannot reach your goals and targets?

Yours
Piotr

Getting stressed about things isn't really my thing. Life is way to short to allow little things to stress me out and short of major events in life not much will put me in a stress mode. Pressure is something I work really well under as I don't get stressed about it, but rather get a laser like focus on the task at hand.

But most people can avoid these reactions just by understanding how an action plan to reach their goal is to work.

By having clear written goals with an action plan that what needs to be done daily, weekly, and monthly with checkpoints along the way for your goal you will know long before your goal date that you need to either adjust your goal or your effort.

Just using the weight loss goal above as an example if you are honest with yourself and realize 3 days into your week that you've missed your 250 calorie reduction goal each day by 75 calories then you know you need to make it up. You need to either adjust the next 4 days and spread that 75 calories out or find a way to add an extra workout into 1 day to burn those calories.

If after a few weeks you still are always coming in under the required calorie reduction you need to either adjust all of the future weeks higher which likely isn't realistic at this point in time, or figure out how many calories you are over and how many weeks that will take on the back end to make up then adjust your target date. If you aren't targeting a date for a specific reason this is easy, but if you are targeting a date for a wedding or something you need to then decide how important that exact weight is to you and actually step up your effort or accept you will be say 2 pounds short of your goal. Don't be stupid and starve yourself, stay on a healthy path and reach the goal that you can without doing harm to your body.

Business goals are the same, if you plan to have a project done by a set date you can break up the work over the period of time before your deadline. If you start falling behind you know that more effort is needed to catch up. If there just aren't enough hours in the day to achieve your goal then you need to be honest with yourself earlier then later and see if the date can be backed up or find some help with the project. Waiting until the last minute and missing a deadline that was set weeks or months ago just isn't acceptable. Personally business goals should be achieved early in the eyes of the boss or customer, that is if it's a 4 week deadline make your plans for 3 weeks and 3 days. This allows you to deliver early (under promise and over deliver) or if needed back up your planned goal date by a day if you aren't finding it possible to stick to the plan.

Wow. Thank you for this amazing comment @thedarkhorse

RESPECT :)
Piotr

I don't think I've ever made a New Years resolution. I haven't needed to. I'm a very disciplined person so whatever I resolve to do on any day of the year I tend to stick to.
Perhaps there are people who need New Year as an excuse to set goals for themselves but I've never met one who actually managed to stick to one. I've been attending the gym continuously in several different countries since I was about 17 and every year come January there's a huge influx of new members most of whom last about 6 weeks. Seems human nature is the same the world over.

Hi @deirdyweirdy

Thx for your comment

I'm a very disciplined person so whatever I resolve to do on any day of the year I tend to stick to.

It seem to me that you're very self-awared. That's a great advantage.

I've been attending the gym continuously in several different countries since I was about 17

Wow. That's impressive. What sort of workout do you stick to? I'm crazy about muay thai and western boxing (Im actually coaching boxing as a passion).

Cheers,
Piotr

I did try kickboxing and then karate many moons ago but it just wasn't for me. I train 5-6 days a week with a mixture of high-Intensity circuits and weight training using kettlebells, dumbbells, and TRX. I just love exercise!

Wow. That's fantastic. Do you mind sharing with me from which part of Holland are you @deirdyweirdy?

Yours
Piotr

I'm actually Irish, living in Dublin at the moment but lived in Amsterdam for almost 15 years.

I loved Dublin. Used to live there in 2005 for some time :)

Are you still based in Amsterdam? I was actually thinking about visiting it sometime this year :)

Let's keep in touch and hopefully we can meet each other one day.

Yours
Piotr

No, I'm in Dublin for the last 4 years. My father got sick and I had to leave Amsterdam and come home. I love Dublin too but it's changed so much in the last few years with the huge influx of foreigners that I hardly recognise it anymore.

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I suppose the only reason many craft out their resolutions for the new year is with hopes of giving themselves another chance at whatever it is they are hoping for or battling against. There's a thing for a new leaf, a new chapter, a new beginning, hence beginning the year anew is kinda akin to giving ourselves a 'clean slate' so to speak. I know it's not easy following through with whatever that's set, but it's not impossible. I think we've somehow also have bought into the perception that if we fall through in the beginning or in the process, then we can't continue. Or, it doesn't feel right starting in September. Sometimes it's really is playing tricks in our mind. To be honest, I have not really had a 'resolution' for some years now. Can't even recall what I wanted the last few years, except for family planning 😂 I think my goal in general every year is to live happily and grow in every aspect of life. The specifics? We can work it out along the way. 😊

Hi @alimamasstory

Most of all: I'm sorry for such a late reply. And thank you for your comment.

I was also wondering how do you handle stress and frustration once you realize that you cannot reach your goals and targets?

ps. would you consider using enter sometimes to separate blocks of text? it would make reading much easier :)

Yours
Piotr

Hi @crypto.piotr,
I think the end of the year has a different meaning for everyone of us. For me for example the end of the year has quite a big meaning because my business is closing an economical cycle. On 1st of january a new cycle starts and it is quite important to start with some targets that we want to achieve in this cycle.

For my employees it is motivating when they feel that there is a plan for the new year. So I always try to come up with some "resolutions" but most of the time they are related to work and business.

On a personal level I tend to take new resolutions whenever I feel that it is necessary. I don't wait for a new year to do so. You don't have to wait for the end of the year to stop smoking or start to do some sport I believe ;-).

Best regards,
Achim

Hi @achim03

Most of all: I'm sorry for such a late reply. And thank you for your comment.

I was also wondering how do you handle stress and frustration once you realize that you cannot reach your goals and targets?

Yours
Piotr

Hi @crypto.piotr,
Thanks for your reply. I believe that

handling the stress and frustration once you realize that you cannot reach your goals and targets

Is an important part of a learning process. When you realize that you will not manage to reach your goals it is important not to question everything you do. It should however give you a hint about the goals that you set. It is often a good idea to revise the goals and maybe to bring them down a bit. When I set my goals I often listen to my instinct. When the goals I set scare me then they are too high. When I feel a good mix between anxiety and challenge then they are ok.

To follow resolutions should always be a work in progress. When you give up because you set the goals too high then your resolutions were for nothing and you have a negative experience. When you see that you cannot succeed, then it is worth to adapt the goals and not considering the whole project a failure but rather a process.

Best regards,

Achim

I love how mature each of your comment is @achim03

Always. Love lit.

Personally I don't take very seriously all this kind of new year's wishes, as you I consider them fake illusions that people often forgets in the first opportunity they have.

Is more like a tradition than real targets that the people want to archieve, or maybe they want but don't make it real because of the difficulty on our routines.

The goals that I oftenly want to archieve are at a long range of time, trying to get to them everyday as part of my routine, that way doesn't suppose an extra effort to me, is only another step in the direction I want to go.

I'm not a traditional person, as an example of this I don't even celebrate christmas or birthdays with presents, so I suppose that this isn't so valid for everyone.

Of course I respect the people that establishes this kind of new year's goals, as I said is in their traditions and way to be.

Nice article @crypto.piotr I like the way you write and the issues that you take into debate. Cheers.

Hi @palasatenea

Most of all: I'm sorry for such a late reply. And thank you for your comment.

Personally I don't take very seriously all this kind of new year's wishes, as you I consider them fake illusions that people often forgets in the first opportunity they have.

It seem that we're on the same page.

I was also wondering how do you handle stress and frustration once you realize that you cannot reach your goals and targets?

I like the way you write and the issues that you take into debate. Cheers.

Thank you :)

Yours
Piotr

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