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About
Published in 1989, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a self-help book written by Stephen Covey that has helped shape leaders all around the globe with 25 million copies sold and translated to 38 different languages. This book provides step-by-step actions we can take to achieve holistic effectiveness.

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Habit 1: Be Proactive.

Are you familiar with the serenity prayer?

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

Regardless of your religious background, this prayer shows us the first step to being proactive, recognizing that there are things that are out of control and there are things that we have to change. As a whole, being proactive is understanding that you are the designer of your life because you have the ability to cause things to happen - and of course, taking responsibility for it.

" Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions."

We can control our response.

In psychology, there is a theory called stimulus-response theory, where our response is a direct effect of the stimulus around us. This theory is incomplete and is a fruit of old, traditional, Freudian psychology. Victor Frankl was a psychiatrist and a Jew during the infamous time of Hitler. Despite having gone through horrible death camps and losing loved ones, he remained proactive. He once said:

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

The Nazi captors have liberty, the ability to control the stimulus or the environment, but Frankl had something far more important - freedom, the ability to control your response. There are times that we cannot control our environment, but we always have control over our effort and attitude.

How to be proactive

Remember that being proactive is a habit, something we do daily, something instilled in our lifestyle. If you really want to know how well you are doing in terms of being proactive? Take a good, hard look at the words that come out of your mouth. Audit your thoughts.

Reactive Language	Proactive Language
"I'm born this way."	"I can change."
"He makes me so mad."	"I can control my feelings."
"I have to do this."	"I choose to do this."
"If only I have..."	"I can be..."

Proactive language as said by influential people:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt

“They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them.”

Mahatma Gandhi

The more you think about your "terror" professor or dictatorial boss, the more they have a hold on you and your thoughts. Hence, they are in control of you. You would not want that, would you?

The Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern

1. Circle of Concern: the things we have mental / emotional involvement with
2. Circle of Influence: the things we have control over

When we begin to invest in the circle of influence, the same circle gets larger. You have have control over your emotions (not the other way around!) If you choose to be emotionally intelligent, you could build effective relationships. Now relationships are in your circle of influence! On the other hand, if we choose to focus on things outside of our circle of influence (but inside of our circle of concern), our circle of influence shrinks. If you let the weather influence your mood, then your mood is no longer part of your circle of influence because you are no longer have sole proprietorship over your mood.

In Summary

It's all about initiative! You are the designer of your life. By focusing on things that you can control - your attitude, effort, mindset, etc. - you will eventually have influence over the things outside of you! Being proactive is a battle of influence. What changes are you making in your daily life in response to this article? Let me know by replying to this post :)

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Thank you!

Next chapter, we will be looking at the second habit: Begin with the end in mind. I have already made chapter summaries of Chapter 1: Inside-Out and Chapter 2: The Seven Habits - An Overview, so be sure to check them out!

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