WE DON'T CHOOSE OUR DEATH
It just isn’t right…”what isn’t right you ask?” That someone who gave so much of himself to so many people…should die this way…
Face it…while death is not something we dwell on…there are times in our lives when we are forced to confront it…As a child, it usually began with the death of a pet… depending on the type of pet…it may involve a backyard burial or if a goldfish…a flush down the toilet…in my household, such a “ceremony” usually involved some reference to heaven and god…
As time went on an older relative would pass away…my parents would dress my brothers and I in our Sunday best…we’d be forced to attend the wake having little or no guidance on what to expect….and despite the lack of instruction…we’d somehow manage to look at a dead body in a coffin without freaking out. Of course, when we asked any questions….we’d hear once more about God and Heaven …
As we grew into adulthood…some of us faced the tragic death of someone around our age or perhaps as a parent…the tragic death of a child. There’s no doubt those moments cause a lot of pain and reflection…and I believe a piece of us dies with that person which we never recover.
Gradually as we trend into our senior years…the obituaries become more important to be in touch with. That coupled with the passing of grandparents…parents…aunts…uncles…even friends…leads to almost “regular” visits to the funeral parlor….Sadly one almost becomes immune to it as a method to avoid facing our own mortality…
But face it we must…and like much of life…death can seem very unfair…take my friend Steve… at age 85…about 25 years older than me…having the girth and jolly personality of a Santa Claus… our first encounter 25 years earlier involved him giving me a bear hug as I entered a twelve-step meeting I had been part of for a few years…honestly…the experience annoyed me…I wasn’t a huggable type…but…once I got home…I realized Steve was the one I wanted to be my “sponsor”…
Through his mentorship…friendship…guidance…listening ear…and open honest sharing about his life experience…I came out of my shell…grew up emotionally and into a human being I am proud of today…Even better…I give out hugs at meetings today…
And despite his age…Steve was still full of life…regularly attended meetings and was always available whenever I or the hundreds of others that he befriended needed a listening ear…meanwhile he religiously visited his wife in the nursing home…remaining a loving husband by her side in the 15 years since she suffered a paralyzing stroke…all that despite the multiple debilitating medical issues that challenged him.
No…regardless of his age...such a passive soul doesn’t deserve to die in such a violent unplanned way...but…"we don’t choose our death."
However, we do choose our life…and similar to other times in the past when forced to face my own mortality reality…I realize once more…it’s not how many moments you live…it’s how you live each moment…because…
I want to give a shout out to @grow-pro for helping me with the presentation and edit of my article...he did a magnificent job...and as the cycle of life often shows...in times of pain...we often find a welcoming hand...
A very somber but thought provoking post.
It is said that society is built on the illusion that we will never die. It does seem that way for a long time until our own ageing face in the mirror forces us to face the the truth of the matter. No one escape death and as you say we dont choose when or where it is our time to go.
I am sorry to hear about your friend and my thoughts go out to you.
I also lost a best friend three years ago on Christmas Eve. I was seriously ill in hospital myself at the time. I was even thinking about him when I head the news. I had promised myself that when I got better I would make the effort to spend more time with him. We had somehow gradually drifted apart and when I became ill I realised that he meant a lot to me. My wife came in to visit me and told me he had died of a heart attack in the night. The pain of hear that news was terrible and I am not ashamed to say that I cried for hours. It took me months to get well again but I still miss my old friend more than ever. He looked and acted very much like the old actor Orson Wells, He was so full of life I could not accept that the world could function without him.
Life and death seems so unfair. Unnatural. We are given this great gift of consciousness for a short time and then it is taken away-
I will not get religious on you as I know religion is a person thing but I will say this- I have cheated death 3 times in my life. At 14 I died of an asthma attack and my heart was restarted. At 37 I barely survived a car accident. A huge lorry crashed into the back of me and four other cars killing one driver, seriously injuring 3 others with one left in a wheel chair for life. I myself woke in the hospital missing a kneecap and a back injury. I had to learn to walk again and it was hard work. And three years ago I contracted a serious life threatening virus and was flown to hospital by helicopter. It took a year to recover. So I guess I have looked death in the eye and survived it. But what I wanted to tell was that on each occasion when I faced death, something special happened. At first I felt fear. Surely it was the fear of dying. But then a calmness came over me. My whole body felt like it was being bathed in warm water and then it came. The wonderful sensation that I was going home. To my real home. A home where I was going to receive the best welcome anyone could ever have. I do not want to die just yet, nor for a long time. I feel I have so much more to live and to give. But all I am saying is I do not fear death anymore. I do not know if there is a God but I feel certain that when this life is over it is not the end and where we go from there is a wonderful place.
Best wished to you my good fellow.
Incredible story...Amazing what you have lived through or should I say died through...sorry to hear about your best friend...why can't the universe sprinkle what you went through over a few other people so a few more would appreciate "real" life? Thanks for your powerful thoughts.
It was my pleasure and honour to share @bobreedo
i shear it
???
Very sorry to hear about your friend
Appreciate it.
Have a happy new year stay safe
to you
Thank you.
Thanks for your post!
Please Follow, Upvote & Resteem my post to help us to travel & explore more
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It was my pleasure, @bobreedo. I am sorry for your loss - it sounds like Steve was a genuine friend and those cannot be replaced, although they are never forgotten.
I greatly appreciate your perspective on the topic of death - it is something many of us are afraid to even think about. Losing those that we love and care for is something we all handle a bit differently.
There is no easy way to grieve the loss of a loved one. But we can find strength in the lives of those we mourn the passing of. Their physical presence on Earth ends, but they remain in our hearts and our minds.
We choose our life, not our death. That's a beautiful message, my friend. I am glad our paths aligned when they did and I look forward to a happy, healthy, prosperous 2018!
Thanks again for supporting the Quality Content Initiative on Steemit.
Grateful to have this outlet and receive the incredible well wishes I do...
after that we just ordinary people~
Steve sounds like an amazing person. I am sorry for your loss. It is true that we can only choose the way we live and not the way we die. Thank you for reminding us to appreciate the life that is given to us and to make the most out of it.
You are welcome and thank you for taking time to read my post.
https://steemit.com/poetry/@thinkhappy/the-breath-of-life
The Breath of Life short poetry writting
I think steemit can be a healthy outlet for harnessing those stream of thoughts...keep sharing...Thanks.
this post made me emotional. god bless everyone
You as well.
I enjoy your pictures and your sharing very much, thank you :-)
And I am too sorry for your lost, but death is a great teacher, is teaching us to appreciate life and love people.
Very true...thank you.
Thank you too :-)
good post
Thank you.
good post
Thank you.
I don't agree. We are all making choices internally that the whole world is not aware of. I've come to believe that death is a very personal choice, and that it is not a matter of chance.
I had my life flash before my eyes, and had visions that I might have even died or been seriously injured while on a dirt bike. But instead I put the bike tires back underneath me in a most miraculous way. I've lived since then feeling that death is no accident. I'm far more mindful of my thoughts, I've come to believe the law of attraction is real, that what I think matters.
In talking to people I get very personal, and have found their life situations to match there attitudes of mind, there approach to life. I'd be surprised if you had never had the thought of ending it all. Most people have at one time or another. The question is of the intensity, and how strong your will to live is.
I have a story, from a past girlfriend that really brought this home to me, she tried to kill herself in a moment of despair, but her will to live was still strong. she took many sleeping pills, and probably would have died. but a coworker, who had been to her house exactly once and never visited, felt something was wrong, came over that day, within an hour of her taking the pills, found her, called an ambulance, and saved her life.
I don't think anything that happens is being done to us, but appears that way because we live unconsciously. This incredible events that 'shake us up' tend to wake us up from this slumber. Perhaps your friend is on the edge of awakening to an even greater truth for his life.
I've heard before, and believe, that our spirit moves to the greatest idea we have for ourselves, and the fastest way to close that gap is death. but it doesn't hafta be that way, we can close the gap in this lifetime, but doing it requires a complete change in thinking, overcoming fear. But sometimes the gap is so great, the suffering so severe, that we have an event that those outside see as tragic, but God never makes a mistake, everything is a perfectly aligned for each person and those that end up hearing about it, being there, and going thru it.
peace, love and happiness, let them be your guide. I hope your friend pulls thru.
Fascinating way to look at things...while I agree perhaps we do "invite" realities to ourselves we aren't even aware of...based on sub quantum wave inside us...I do question something like a car accident that wasn't one's choice nor their fault which leads to death...
I too had a "near death" experience back in my college days with a car accident...it was like a slow motion movie...seeing the truck come over the hill while my car drifted into that lane during a bad snow storm...I remember seeing moments of my life pass thru my brain...total peace within...and calmly saying..."this is it" right before the truck crashed into my little 4 cylinder car...needless to say I lived...
Was it all a bigger force orchestrating it all? Or simple random quantum waves? Perhaps in the end...we find the answer...
Thanks for your thoughts...
I no longer think you can look at it that way. Outside events mirror the inner state.
the Law of Attraction orchestrates it all. We are magnets for what we believe.
I've come to see that a random world cannot contain the coincidences i've experienced. however, a intentional world can appear chaotic based upon belief that it is so.
That is what Abraham Hicks keeps telling all of us
Glad to find you on steem, sir.
One of the most interesting discussions in a few weeks.
Thank you for the time and efforts to share your thoughts.
Best regards,
alex
It has been quite a journey.
I’m glad that yours is still going on.
Same as mine.
Law of attraction is the powerful engine that brings us where we think we need to go.
Peace and love and happiness - what else is there to ask for?
These three things give you comfort and pleasure from life’s smallest gifts.
Much respect for your thoughts
Best regards,
alex
Nice post very informative and inspiring