Unhealthy Expectations X, Contributed By @Olawalium
…continued… from part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8 and part 9
Stop judging people based on their looks. Stop writing people off so quickly without giving them a chance and stop judging people before you get to know them. Be discerning and be sensitive too.
I heard about a lady that turned down a guy because she said the guy has mouth odour. If you truly love this guy, why not help him and teach him how to get rid of the odour that occurs sometimes. You know when you have been quiet for long; it is easier for your mouth to smell a little. She could have recommended a gum, Listerine; mouth wash or some mints to the guy, but then she blasted the guy and sent the guy away.
The issue is, we always approach most relationships with the idea of receiving. If she had viewed the relationship with a different mindset of giving or helping, maybe she would have been with that guy longer; if not as a friend but as a lover. She judged him too quickly because of odour and failed to smell the potentials that have been embedded in this young man.
Few months after she rejected the guy, he got an appointment in an oil and gas company and he was sent to Dubai to start work. She went to a friend of hers that she narrated the story of the guy to and she started crying that she sent someone who could have been his potential boyfriend away. This only buttressed my point that she is interested only in what she has to gain in the relationship rather than what she could have impacted. We need to change our gaze and approach.
When you judge people too quickly, you have cut yourself from seeing the best that can come out of them and you have shortened your own gaze. Give some people the benefit of doubt and always seek to be of help rather than receive all the time. It would help you even if you can’t spot the diamond in the rough at first.
…to be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Wisdom is in what you have written brother. The problem many are having be it in relationship or Friendship, job etc is because of too much expectation beforehand. And if all the advance criteria are not met then problem will emanate. Many will say it is not taste. Why can't you make it suit your taste instead of being a faultfinder in someone or things without the aims of correcting or putting things in order.
I am so happy you enjoyed this as usual and I enjoyed your contribution also.
When we judge people too quickly, then we will have no time to love them. We need to stop judging people based on our own criteria and love them for who they are while gently pointing to them the things we feel they are doing wrong. We arw all a work in progress.
Thanks a lot, brother.
No person can be perfect in life. All persons have some or no drawbacks. Due to these shortcomings, there should be no crack in the relationship, but how to overcome those shortcomings should be implemented. Humanity should not be identified on the basis of its physical textures, dresses. If we do,then we are letting to mistake.
Everyone does the task of counting the shortcomings, but the person who tries to improve the mistakes is the best person.
Beautiful and brilliant. We need to stop looking for shortcomings and whoever tries to improve on the mistakes is the better person, truly.
As you have said, no one is perfect and we should all strive to be better.
Thank you, my friend.