Unhealthy Expectations II, Contributed By @Olawalium
…continued… from part 1
It was never her right to give the guy anything as it was never the guy’s right to give her anything too. Whatever they give each other or they enjoy together should be a privilege and never a right. You are not married to this lady yet, nor is she married to the guy yet. Often times, some ladies would start getting themselves into the roles that have been primarily made for married women. Stop giving yourself away that easy by doing what is expected of a wife to do. Stop playing the role of a husband when you are just a boyfriend and stop playing the role of a wife when you are just a girlfriend.
Some guys would expect that anytime their girlfriend visits them, she must enter into that kitchen and prepare food for them. To them, that is a test of seeing whether she is a good ‘wife material’. I don’t buy into that at all. As much as it would be nice for her to do all those and show care and courtesy, it should be on her own terms based on how much she loves and respects you, and it should never be a demand.
I am in support of the good gesture if the lady decides to do all that but then I am against the motive and perspective behind it that the moment she is your girlfriend, she must enter the kitchen and cook for you. So, I ask, since she came to visit you, as a guy why can’t you do the same?
We need to stop having some feeling of entitlement and some unhealthy expectations on how people are supposed to be or act just so we could satisfy our own selfishness. If you want her to do that cooking and play the role of a wife, then why don’t you go ahead and marry her, because at least she can be sure her efforts won’t go to waste, especially in this era where a guy would profess love to you and yet he is still doing the same to 2 to 3 other ladies.
…to be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Hmm, I think that kind of thinking is African in nature. Smiles
If he's not your dad nor your husband, it is not his role to take up those responsibilities and likewise, if she is not your mum nor your wife, she's not expected to do those things yet.
The problem is that we always want the other party to be so perfect for us without wanting to be perfect for them. That's is the kind of expectation that is rampant in our generation.
I love you is becoming an ordinary statement indeed...
You are absolutely right. Many people just throw the words "I love you" just anyhow without understanding the responsibilities that goes with it. We all need to be considerate and stop placing unnecessary expectations on people when we know we are not willing to do the same, just as you have rightly pointed out.
Always a pleasure to have you here, Pastor. :)
Well said brother, though, it happens to guy and a lady too. It is vice versa. Some guy are regretting today because of what pain caused by the strange lady who comes only to take and dried the guy under pretence of love which is not true. The button line is that we have to limit our expectations from anybody no matter what the position of such person in our life. If they decide to offer help or assistance we should take it and if not we shouldn't take it as offence.
You are right, it goes both ways. I have seen a lady date a lot of guys simultaneously. We need to shoe consideration because when we show considerations, we can be tender and also be reasonable in our expectations.
Thank you for your contribution, duly appreciated.
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