Expand Your Options, Expand Your Life
Aarón Blanco Tejedor @blancotejedor
Who here absolutely loves staying at their parents home during the holidays?
(... crickets chirping)
Okay so I'm sure there's a few of you out there who truly enjoy staying at your parents place, and that is such a wonderful and beautiful experience to have.
Arun Kuchibhotla @arunkuchibhotla
On the other hand...
I'm sure there are a fair portion of us that would much prefer to be in our own personal space.
I silently giggle at the quote,
Think you're strong? Try spending a week at your parents house.
It's a sadistic quote (I know) but for some of us, like myself, sometimes it's far too accurate...
Heading Home For The Holidays
Over the past few days I've been staying at my parent’s home.
This was my childhood home and it's where I experienced a fair amount of growing pains.
To give you a better perspective, over the past 10 years my family has experienced a tremendous amount of financial struggle.
And we are losing our home within the coming months.
Ben White @benwhitephotography
This has been a long journey for us, and interestingly enough, the fact that we are losing the house is much easier to handle since we all have accepted this reality.
Living here has been pretty interesting because the environment is quite different than I’m used to.
If you were to walk into a living room here, you would see that the entire ceiling is ripped off due to water damage.
Walking through the house you will likely see clothes scattered all over the floors, random boxes stacked in random places, broken and flipped furniture in the middle of the hallways, dog stained carpets, faulty appliances, random holes in walls, etc, etc.
Daniel Tafjord @danieltafjord
On top of this, the dynamics between my mother, father, and brother can seem to be quite challenging at times as they experience frequent conflicts with each other.
In this context, it looks and feels like a home that is dying and being left behind.
A Dive Into The Darkness
Living here this week has been a phenomenal experience from me because in the past my experience was tremendously different...
In the past, I would immediately become overwhelmed with severe depression and anxiety.
When I would initially come to visit, typically I would be in a positive state of mind.
However, over a period of a few hours I would begin to feel very heavy, slow, and lethargic.
Within two days I would be so overwhelmed that I would literally spend most of my time in a bed under the blankets.
ANDRIK LANGFIELD PETRIDES @the_alp_photography
I didn't know what to do with myself.
I was absolutely overwhelmed in emotion and I felt like my only option was to hide from it within myself.
During that time I was also going to medical school.
My school operated in trimesters and thus in the three week breaks in between trimesters I would come to visit with the intention of getting some much needed rest and recuperation.
Unfortunately, after my break was over, I would come back to school feeling completely drained and ultimately, worse off than I was when I had finished a grueling round of exams!
This was something I experienced for years on end.
It was one of the most difficult experiences of my life.
And this painful experience didn't end until I began to change how I interpreted my reality.
Finding Choice In Every Circumstance
Today, the environment is far worse than it is ever been in the past.
The level of uncertainty is at an all time high for my family and the house we are residing in is a constant reminder of that.
Yet... interestingly enough... I feel uplifted, empowered, and energized.
Allef Vinicius @seteales
...How could this be?
How could I just ignore all of this and still feel great?
How could I possibly be consistently writing uplifting blog posts in an environment like this?
The truth here is that I'm not ignoring anything.
I'm aware that the energy feels more dense.
I'm aware that there are emotional conflicts at play.
I'm aware that the feng shui in my house is very “off”.
BUT the difference lies in the fact that I also realize that I have options.
Pavan Trikutam @ptrikutam
I realize that I can focus in any way that I choose to focus.
I know that when I choose to focus on a specific concept, it will naturally grow and expand.
When I experience my reality in this house, I see the many options that are available to me.
I see, hear and feel that I have an option to mimic the energy of the house and begin to experience a sense of dying, decay, and loss.
I also see, hear, and feel that I have an option to experience gratitude and appreciation for the foundation which taught me so much about who I am and provided experiences and profound learning lessons that will last for a lifetime.
Zac Durant @zacdurant
As I confront the energy that I'm experiencing in this house, I feel that sense of density and I choose to just play with it.
Just a few minutes ago I was feeling into that heaviness that is always prevalent here.
If you focus onto it enough you can start to feel lethargic and you'll likely want to take a nap.
I immediately proved to myself that I have a choice by standing up, and joyfully jumping and dancing yelling,
“I love this fucking house! I love this FUCKING beautiful, dank-ass house!”
(Excuse my french, but I was really accessing how awesome it was lol.)
Immediately a sense of lightness and pure excitement coursed through my mind and body.
Within a matter of a seconds, I had completely shifted my state of being and now I felt great, uplifted, energized, and fully capable of operating in whichever way I chose to operate.
Instead of letting the energy around me take control of me, I was taking control of it.
YIFEI CHEN @imchenyf
I literally told the house what it was.
I assumed its reality, and thus, my reality shifted to match that perspective.
The difference from me in the past to the me now, is that in the past I would observe what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling, and then accept that for what it was.
I limited my options. I said,
"This is the only way because it is what I am experiencing right now and what I am experiencing right now is the truth of my reality."
The fact is, my friends, that this was a significant error in my perception.
The fact is that your current situations do not dictate how you experience any situation.
The fact is that you are in complete control of how you experience the world around you.
Exploring Your Wealth Of Options
The more choices you have, the more whole you will feel.
Oftentimes we feel cut off and limited because we are literally cutting ourselves off and limiting our options as to what we can experience.
Someone may tell us a story about what reality is for them, and we have the choice to accept that story as the absolute truth for ourselves.
Have you ever chosen to not do something simply because someone shared a story with you about their terrible experience?
Much of our mainstream media and education systems work in this way.
Kayla Velasquez @km_mixedloev
How often do we trust secondhand experiences as though they are the absolute truth?
How often do we say, I don't want to experience that because someone experienced that before me and said that it wasn't an experience that was worth having.
By buying into someone else's experience, you are buying into the perspective that they chose to have in that very moment.
That's basically like someone taking a bunch of bites out of a sandwich, dropping it on the ground, smothering it in mud, then giving it to you and saying “hey so this sandwich wasn't that great, I wouldn't recommend it.”
All you're getting is a very small bite of what that experience could be.
In this context, you would be buying into a filtered experience.
*Nigel Tadyanehondo @nxvision
On the news we see this all the time, where we are only seeing and experiencing what is shown on the frame of the camera.
What's behind the frame may tell an entirely different story.
The words on the frame ("breaking news" headline) direct our attention to look and perceive the frame in a particular way.
The newscaster presents the story in a way that leads our mind to create a story about what is actually happening, when in reality, there is a wealth of other perspectives at play... which are not being presented to you.
Do you realize that there are more options available to you at all times?
What do you think would happen if you stepped into any situation and ask yourself, what are my options here?
Do you think your experience would be different?
For me, it has changed everything.
How To Explore Your Perceptual Options
In my day-to-day life I have a few states of being that I prefer to experience.
Having these go to emotional states is useful to me because when I'm experiencing something that I would prefer to not experience (such as heaviness or lethargy), I can immediately shift my energy to filter out that experience with the emotional state that I prefer.
Think of it like augmented reality:
You are putting on a pair of goggles that allow you to have a multi-media experience within the confines of a particular environment.
Billetto Editorial @billetto
The reality changes based off of your choices for enhancing or altering the experience.
When I step into my childhood home, I prefer to step into a place of appreciation.
Appreciation feels good to me, for when I'm grateful for things, I feel energized, uplifted, and alive.
Appreciation allows me to step more fully into a state of joy, which is also very useful for me because when I'm in a state of joy I am very light hearted and creative.
In order to access these alternate options, you simply need to ask yourself a few simple questions.
If I want to experience appreciation, I will ask myself,
"What am I grateful for right now?
Then I will list off 10 to 20 things that I really do appreciate in my life in that very moment regardless of how big or small they are.
Sometimes I'll ask myself,
"What's the last time that I experienced Joy?"
Then I tune into the memories that come to me.
I'll seek to re-experience the sights, sounds, and feelings that were present at that time.
By simply placing my focus on a memory that feels joyous, I suddenly start to feel joyous, and as I put more of my focus on that feeling, it expands and begins to affect my physiology.
Dominik Vanyi @dominik_photography
Other times I will ask questions like,
"What if a miracle happened?"
Then I'll just let my imagination flow and I'll begin to see the highest versions of my reality play out in my mind's eye.
Marina Vitale @marina_mv88
Suddenly I'll start to feel inspired, excited, and truly empowered!
Again, I'll begin to focus on the new feelings that start to arise and suddenly my entire physiology changes.
Now, within a matter of seconds...
I'm a completely different person.
We are Shape Shifters
We have a myriad of possibilities available to us at each and every moment.
This means that we have an ability to change and transform in any way that we wish.
Did you ever watch or read the show Animorphs?
| 
{ It was a 90s series that focused on a group of kids who could shape-shift into different types of animals.
For whatever reason, this analogy comes to my mind...
Although we may not be able to change into different physical species, we can significantly alter our emotional state which has a huge impact on our physiology.
We can experience immediate neuro-physiological changes through our conscious choices.
So in a sense, we do shape-shift every moment of the day and when we begin to take control over this power, we can shape-shift in a way that we would choose.
The Expansive Future Ahead Of Us
The future of humanity is a future of many possibilities and choices.
Technology is a great reflection of that...
With significant advances in technology we are beginning to experience a plethora of choices and possibilities available to us in our physical space that we never had access to in the past.
Dose Media @dose
This is merely a reflection of our consciousness.
As we become more and more aware of how our thoughts influence our emotional state, and how those influences affect our physiology, suddenly our entire reality begins to change because there is an incredible wealth of perceptual options for us to experience.
It no longer matters what is happening outside of us because we are able to augment our reality in a way that is of our highest good.
How exciting is it that we literally get to choose how we want to experience this life?
How empowering is it to know that just because you are experiencing something right now does not mean that you have to experience it in the next moment?
How profoundly useful would it be to gain complete control over your mind to the point where you no longer experience anything that you would not choose to experience?
How secure do you feel knowing that no matter what happens outside of you, you will only experience what you choose to focus on?
What is that like for you?
For me...
It's true Freedom.
It is absolute liberation.
Saksham Gangwar @saksham
It is, in my opinion, the road to the evolution and expansion of human consciousness.
For as we embrace these concepts we become powerful creators that create from a place of conscious awareness.
When we choose the options that are expansive, freeing, sustainable, and uplifting on an individual level, these experiences begin to reflect themselves on a collective and unconscious level.
And this is what it truly means to be the change...
...you wish to see in the world.
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What a great post. It's fascinating how conscious you are of your feelings. I think that's remarkable.
I've also found appreciation or gratitude to be a powerful, mood-altering force. I'll have to try your other methods too.
Great post, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
It truly is powerful - and quite simple to do if you merely remember to do it. The impact it has on your mind and perception is truly profound.
Thanks for reading and sharing those kind words! Glad you stopped by @heretolisten :)
very interesting, no doubt a change of perspective helps things to flow, and more if you are surrounded by your family, although the relationship is rare, I always argued and kept my distance with my brothers, and now that they left the country because of the crisis there is, I have noticed a lot of his absence although we do not always understand each other, I hope that you do well in the new phases of your life, greetings
Family is definitely there to challenge us on entirely new levels. Not always easy for sure, but lots of opportunities to grow. I hope your family finds a sense of balance, I know how hard that can be.
Thanks for sharing and stopping by @gap2545!
@Axios. First, this was a very well written, personal account that I can completely relate to. Thank you for the honesty and sharing it. I grew up in a household where alcohol, confrontation, and fighting were common place. At a young age, I knew I didn't want that in my life. I think it's a gift to be so self-aware, though, anyone has the ability to change their perceptions. For me, I've had to literally take myself out of the equation of those family dynamics, because they are still so toxic. It's not an easy decision, to cut yourself off from your family, but in terms of self-preservation, and my mental health, I found it to be completely necessary. I completely agree with you on being able to change those perceptions with thought. Though it does take work. I live far off in the woods, and have in a way, cut myself off from society. BUT, it hasn't been a bad experience, quite the opposite really. I sought out nature, because I knew, somewhere deep inside, that nature was healing. You mentioned Eastern thought in your response to my post, and I have been reading a lot of Native American writings, especially from the Lakota. They knew, as well as other indigenous cultures, that nature and thoughts, nature and perception, nature and intention were/are so inter-linked that you can't have one without the other. So, through my observance/interaction with nature, my perceptions of time, love, connectedness have been elevated, allowing me to look objectively at my life. Great read and excellent writing!
@therightsideofup I deeply appreciate what you shared here. Everyone has their own path and I fully agree with you - sometimes you have to set your boundaries and go your own way. My belief is that we have full control of our experience, and with that, if we are able to leave situations that we know are no longer supportive of who we are, then that's what we must do. If we aren't able to leave, then that's a different story and - in my opinion - an opportunity to transcend the experience. Once you do...the door opens. I moved across country from my family because I knew it was what I needed to do and that my growth required me to explore different environments, so I totally feel you there.
It's amazing that you have the opportunity to connect with the beauty of nature every day! Spending a week with the Peruvian shamans, I realized that they were having an entirely different experience. They were literally living in a spirit realm that was also deeply interconnected with nature. I experienced that for myself when I had my ceremony, but I believe they are in that state for a fair amount of that time. It's this interesting conundrum where they seem less connected to the world, yet in actuality, they are way more connected to the earth than any other person on the planet.
Awesome to hear you've been exploring and finding much elevation in embracing these ancient perspectives. Thank you for stopping by and sharing. I appreciate you!
Thank you! It's funny, because I would call myself an atheist. But when you think on that term, it simply means a lack of belief in a deity. Being out in nature, and having such profound experiences, has lead me to not necessarily believe in god, but to believe in the spirituality of nature. Nature is pure life essence. The bark of trees, the pedals of flowers, the humming buzz of bees all have life. A connection you can't ignore when you depend on it. I don't need to ascribe a supernatural entity that casts judgement, gives domain over all living things to one creature; mankind, to feel that way. Life is about all of us and the creatures and plants that share it. Nature IS us. We don't/can't control nature and we shouldn't. Anyway, I'm following and look forward to more great discussions!
I don't go to my parents house for the holidays anymore. I haven't for the last 16 or so years since we moved away from that state (and the toxic, dysfunctional, abusive extended family).
However, now that our children are adults, we still all get together, but we get together for family nights at least twice a month already, so the holidays aren't much different. My kids will start complaining if we don't have official family nights at least twice a month and I feel VERY fortunate that we have a healthy family that enjoys hanging out together.
It helps, I suppose, that we're all pretty laid back and live close by. My kids all get along and started going on 'sibling birthday dates' years ago when they were teens. My son would take his sisters out for a movie or food or whatever when he got his license and they all just developed those traditions that I think are awesome.
I got off track... sorry. Your posts always make me think so much!!!
I think your attitude is great and healthy and you're doing this whole life and learning thing so so well. Congratulations on another great post!
Ah that's so wonderful @byn! It's great to know that just because dysfunction was present in a former life, that the pattern doesn't have to continue into the next one.
Sounds like you have a quite an awesome family :)
Thank you for the uplifting words @Byn!
I always enjoy your posts and yes, the patterns of our past can definitely be broken and remade in better, healthier ways! I hope you have a fantastic holiday.
You too :)
This post is amazing. I see why you were nominated into @sndbox. I'm sorry to hear that you are losing your house but your mindset/outlook is truly remarkable. You have such an uplifting motivational attitude. I'm glad you are spreading this message of expanding consciousness!
Great post on appreciation, and in shifting your perspective to just decide to see the goodness in life now, in front of you. Makes me think of the Reality Transurfing books 1-5 by Russian author Vadim Zeland ( translated to English ). He talks about "life tracks" and when you decide that things outside are conspiring to help you, even though they might look bad.. your life trajectory changes to put you into a parallel 'life track", where good stuff happens. He gets pretty metaphysical.
Also, the gratitude lists,.. very potent stuff.
I'm actually on day 15 of doing the 30-day Gratitude Exercise from the book "The Magic" by Rhonda Byrne. It's having a pretty profound effect on my 'default emotional setpoint'.
I had a similar experience as you, when I was evicted from my apt in 2002 and stayed with my parents ... there were challenges, but a lot of growth as well.