I have a confession to make, it is regarding the elephant in the room of the Incredible You! series. For some time now I have wanted to talk to you about it, however I haven't because of my secret.

We have talked about flow state, the moment of perfection where everything fits together, like pieces in a giant mosaic of a puzzle.

It is like an energy that drives you on and keeps you going in a perfect state of now.

It is . .

sheer . .

utter . . .

Bliss.

However I have left out one component, not because I feel it isn't important. But more because I myself have not even begun to master this exquisite skill.

I am talking of course, about the awesomely tempestuous power of calm.

Now though, I feel I have gathered enough knowledge on my quest to gain control over my negative emotions, and now it is time to impart that knowledge to you.

First though before we do that, let us look at why calm is such a key component to getting to, and remaining in, flow state.

The Science Of Stress

When you are stressed, the gateway to anxiety and worry is opened in your mind. Your brain releases the hormone cortisol, which raises your heart rate and clouds your mind.

At some point in our evolution, this automatic biological reaction we have to stressful situations would have been a key component in keeping us alive.

It is much better to have critical thinking suspended in a situation of extreme danger. If a wild animal jumps out of the bushes and rushes you, the last thing you need is to run a detailed threat analysis. You simply need to run.

Human society has now got to the point whereby we engage in all sorts of activities, from driving to playing sports, that are non-life threatening, yet still stressful.

Whatever the situation, most of us have at least one instance where we just can't control ourselves. We are triggered by something or someone, the cortisol floods our brains and we go mental.

The Denizens Of Calm

But wait! Hold on a sec; if we have evolved this way, and it has kept us alive for millions of years; why try and change it?

Surely we need stress, regardless of how unpleasant it is? The release of cortisol in your brain is something that you just need.

In fact this is borne out by people who claim to work better under pressure. They say that without the pressure they just don't feel as motivated, or as sharp as they do when the heat is on.

I mean; that proves it right? Surely it is just a matter of learning how to perform under stress; right?

Hmm, no, I believe that when people say they work better under stress. What they actually mean is that they perform well in stressful situations, this may seem like a subtle difference. In fact it is a whole lot different, and if we look carefully, you can see the clues sitting right there for you to examine.

Sully Sullenberger

On the 15th of January 2009, Chesley Sully Sullenberger landed US Airways flight 1549 in the Hudson River, New York City.

I think it's fair to assume, that as flight 1549 lost power to its engines, due to a freak accident with some Canada geese, it could be classed as a stressful situation.

However Sully; or as he became known thereafter, The Hero of The Hudson, remained perfectly calm. His voice on the radio was testimony to this, he may as well have been ordering groceries, as reporting about to ditch in the icy waters of the Hudson.

Exercises In Calm

All well and good, we know now that it is better to stay calm in times of stress. But the problem with stressful situations is that they are so . .

so . . .

Stressful!!

Well as usual it comes down to meditation, coupled with a particular psychological technique called; anchoring.

OK, so first you're going to get somewhere nice and quiet where you're not going to be disturbed by man or beast for half an hour.

Turn off phones, tablets and any other beeping, bleeping or ringing devices, then let us begin.

Step 1: Monitoring

In order to understand how to calm down in heated situations, it is best to first understand what your state of calm means to you.

So once you're sitting comfortably, start by taking some nice long, deep breaths. As you take each one, feel how the air tenses your muscles like the skin of a balloon.

Really pay attention to the air going in, once you hit the top of your breath, just let it all flow out of you. At the bottom of each breath you will count.

As you do this, monitor your body, feel each part of it relaxing. Once you have counted ten breaths, just sit doing nothing but paying attention to your breathing.

It doesn't have to be deep, just make sure it is not shallow.

Then I want you to monitor how you're feeling internally, this is sometimes called meta cognition. While you're doing this, you might find your mind wander to things you have to do, or that are on your mind at the moment.

Try and focus on each one and monitor how it makes you feel. So if you find yourself thinking about a bill you have to pay. Then pay attention to your heart rate and how you feel in general about it.

Do this for a while switching from subject to subject, pay attention to the things that make you feel slightly stressed and things that calm you down.

Step 2: Heightened Imagination

Now I want you to imagine a scenario where you feel incredibly relaxed. It might be a thought from Step 1, or it could be a completely new one.

The idea is to think about this thing and then really focus on it. Okay, once you have this scenario in your head I want you to hold it there.

Then you need to analyse it, so for instance; is it a still image or moving?

Is it in black and white or colour?

Does it have audio?

Think about all these things,then I want you to take one aspect of your scenario, and turn it up, just like you would on the controls of your TV.

So if it is a still, colour image you are thinking of, then turn the contrast up so the colours really bounce. Even better if the image in your head is in black and white.

Then if it's appropriate, enhance or add sound to the image.

Remember, I've given you some parameters here, but it really doesn't matter what you use. Just keep enhancing the image in anyway you feel. The only thing to remember is after each one of these enhancements, to turn your attention inwards and make sure that your feelings of calm are increasing.

Once you have this powerful image in your mind you are ready to go to the next stage.

Step 3: Anchoring

Once you have a full and vivid image in your mind; whether it be visual, audio, both, or even just an abstract feeling, you are ready to attach that image to a physical action in the real world.

This is called anchoring and all you need to do is to perform a distinct action as you're thinking of your special 'thing'.

For instance, you might decide to tug on your right earlobe with your left thumb and forefinger. I personally like to scratch my leg around the area of my trouser pocket. That way I can easily and un-subconsciously use it in public.

As you have probably guessed, the idea is to anchor the feeling you get when thinking of your relaxing scenario, to your physical action.

That way, the next time you feel yourself getting wound up, you can perform the action and immediately feel calm.

Step 4: Anger Training

This is the final step, this time you are going to imagine yourself in a highly stressful situation, which can be real or imagined.

I personally like to think of myself in a burning building. Or sometimes I imagine myself talking to a particularly annoying neighbour.

The scenario doesn't matter, as long as it triggers you, as you're thinking of this scenario, just like in Step 1, you are going to monitor how it makes you feel.

If you're committed to the thought, then you should see that your heart rate raises and your breath shortens.

Now I want you to use your anchor, and imagine yourself, quickly, calmly, and coolly, getting out of the stress filled scenario you've put yourself in.

Rinse & Repeat

Remember that this is not a one time, one hit solution, if you do it just before times of potential stress (job interview, exam, etc.) then you'll see it will work very well.

However if you do it today, and then get into a road rage incident next week, the effect will probably have worn off.

Just like we've seen in our other explorations of flow state, repetition is key to success. This is no difference, practice this calm training as often as possible, at least once a day to start with, perhaps less as you get better.

The more you do this, the calmer you'll become, and the better you'll be at performing well under pressure.

Whether it's putting your point across calmly in a heated discussion. Avoiding a nasty road rage situation, or even performing better at a sport. Being calm will help you be a better you, and will allow you one giant leap towards become a flow state ninja.

The Incredible You! Flow State Series So Far:

Incredible You! - Ten Thousand Dollar An Hour Tasks With The Get Sh*t Done System!
Incredible You! - Organise Your Life With The Get Sh*t Done System!
Incredible You! - Flow Your Way To Success With The Power Of Single Tasking
Incredible You! Single Task Training - 3 Steps To Flow
Incredible You! Single Task Training The Final Test - Becoming A Flow Jedi

Incredible You! - Feeling The Flow With The Power Of Touch
Incredible You! - Connect To The Moment And Enhance Your Power With Sound
Incredible You! - Move Like An Animal With Ido Portal
Incredible You! - Finding Your Flow State Superpower

WHAT TRIGGERS YOU? IS IT DRIVING, READING A YOUTUBE COMMENT, PEOPLE AT WORK? OR ARE YOU ALREADY A PICTURE OF CALM SERENITY? AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!

Cryptogee