"Making A Mole Hill Into A Mole-Sized Mountain" ~steemCreated with Sketch.

in #humor7 years ago (edited)

P1200436-01-6 1152x891 243kb OFF THE VINE 210kb SCIENCE.jpg

An Original Schteinn Science Report

~Third Edition~



P1270426-2 335kb.jpg

WOW!


Major Discovery Discovered

I was out on the bicycle trail this evening, riding my bike for some much-needed exercise, when I ran across this humongous pile of dirt by the side of the trail. My first thought was "that's a giant mole hill." The mounds those funny little underground doobers make when they push soil up to the surface from the back and front door of their tunnel complex.

My next thoughts, not necessarily in this order, were: "No Way. That would have to be a 14 pound mole. They don't come that big. At least I don't THINK they do. They eat earth worms. I don't think a mole weighing in at 14 pounds could find enough normal-sized angleworms in the entire COUNTY to live off of. Yes, that is one enormous pile of dirt."

The thing was amazing.

The snowboard helmet that moonlights as my bike helmet (the round red thing in the picture), gives a pretty good size reference for the dirt pile. (This very stylish lid is the size of my head, which I'm pretty sure is a normal-sized head, or at least within the standard range for head sizes the world over. So you can estimate the enormity of the mound by looking in the mirror while holding the picture above, up next to your head. Should be close enough. High Science at work.)

I got off my bike, and started to poke around the mound like those monkeys you see on the Nature Channel on Saturday mornings. The really smart ones, that have figured out how to use a stick to investigate those tall termite mounds found in the Sub Sahara.

The dirt was a bit 'fluffy' in texture, and had definitely been recently excavated. Folks walking and riding by gave me their best "what's that monkey with the stick doing" look, then hurried on with their evening. Undaunted, I continued poking and prodding, and sure enough, there was a hole in the bottom of the pile from where SOME sort of creature was moving dirt up and out in my general direction.

I investigated the smaller mound behind this one next, and there was a tunnel there as well. Probably made by a more normal-sized mole. I pushed the dirt back with my stick as I'd found it, so I wouldn't make the mole mad, or completely mess up his or her evening, and stood pondering this new discovery as the sun started to set.

Conclusion

After careful consideration, we have very large, unusual moles in this part of the bike path. And I'm not riding this route anymore at night, because they only come out at night, since they can't see very well, and I'm afraid of any 14 pound mole that can't see well enough to tell the difference between my lower leg and an enormous earth worm.

Thank you for stopping in and having a look at a giant mound of dirt.



PressCard_dds_1200dpi sharpened 550x338 171kb  FINAL.jpg

[Official Press Credential Here]

A huge shout-out from the freelance reporter's cardboard holler-horn goes out to the amazing @ocrdu for creating this marvy little press credential for The Schteinn Report. Not only is it ultra-cool, but it allows me to poke about into places I'm probably not supposed to be. Though that IS the point of on-the-edge, needle-sharp reportage.





Please Check Out My Other Posts, If You So Desire
~ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT~

Sort:  

You recieved a whale vote from #takemyvotes contest...Do resteem the post .... Do follow me.

Thank you, I've missed some comments here, so a bit late. Appreciate the view and vote. Thanks for doing this, it is harder to gain traction on the site now, and folks need all the help they can get.

U r welcome

Glad it wasn't a 14lb mole. I'm also glad it wasn't a killer bee nest that you were poking around in LOL

Those giant moles are tough. Need your zero turn to pull them out by the tail. And had more than my share of ground-nesting hornets. Not killer, but you swear you've expired once more than 10 sting you in the head. Yee haaa.

Oh yeah. I was clearing land and my buddy was on a tractor waiting for me to hookup a mound of brush. Of course with the diesel running, I cant hear anything, but soon felt some stings where guys don't want to be stung! He had run over a nest and the hornets were less than pleased. They had found their way up my pant leg!

Yowza, that would hurt. Probably really took it out of you for the day. I hate those things. They hurt so much, and make you feel so bad all day. Used to tie our pantlegs closed to keep them out. Then they just sting through the fabric.

Ah now you tell me to tie my pant legs LOL! I was a newbie.

I had to learn by trial and error, and it took a few nest dances to learn. Once I was so sick of them I tried to 'stay and fight'. Don't recommend it.

Oh I know! I tried to make a stand with a can of bee spray. I got more on me than the wasps!

At first I thought that was a giant lady bug next to the mound!! I don't know which is ore frightening. Massive insectery or massive mole'ry!!

Either way. Steer clear! :OD

Looking back, that does look a lot like a ladybug. Classic. What if they mate, and we get a very hard-headed (yet safety conscious) insectivore mole'ry critter? The image is frightening. Can I put in a requisition for you to ship MeesterBot over in the bowels of a tanker, to do major battle for me along the bicycle path? I'll pay the shipping fees and any damages to your creation.

A safety conscious mole'y thing! Lol!!

Yes, I will order the bubble wrap immediately and package him up!!

I assume he is steem powered?

Only the finest steem runs through that brute's veins :0)

With blood of steem coursing throughout, I have no doubt he will kick mole'y things butt all over the bikpath parkway. Take that, you odd-abomination of a cross specie dalliance. (Plus, I don't have to spend valuable Steemdollars getting him re-fitted if he loses.)

That is if they don't outwit him by digging the ground from beneath his feet!! He might be made to disappear!!

These crossbred under-grounders ARE a smart lot. No worries though, if the giant snowshoes I affix to his feet do not solve the problem, I shall build you another MBot. Just have to move a few projects off the docket in the lab...

P1050776 A 231kb.jpg

WOW! Amazing giant mole hill! ..... Hopefully, you could find out finally whose this hill belongs to! In the meantime, I really like your helmet, very bright red color, it looks like "The Mask"! Thanks so much for this new fun story! ;D

Very welcome, and glad you enjoyed it. I have a bright yellow helmet as well. I look very spiffy when I ride by on my bike. People comment, but I can't hear them in there....but I'm sure it is all very positive remarks ( :

Oh! I wonder what your bright yellow helmet looks like! Perhaps, you may show it here in your next post! You will receive nice comment from me, for sure! :D

You might have to wait awhile for a new post with it....but you may see it if you go back 4 months in my blog, to "dirt roamer" a tricycle story. I'm wearing it on my trike, to stay safe. It's a blue image, with a hand-drawn bike for a thumbnail. Even more spiffy...

I'll check your blog to see you and your helmet accordingly! ;)

I'm sure it will be a moment of grand excitement ( :
I must go to bed now, and will discuss further with you tomorrow. Have a nice day.

Have a sweet dream! See you tomorrow! ;)

Congratulations @ddschteinn! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of comments received

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honnor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

Excellent work dear friend @ddschteinn as always the crativate abound in their statements, you are extraordinary doing research with positive results, should work for some body.
Thank you very much for your creativity and your beautiful works.
have an excellent week

I'm hoping somebody hires me to do something with my somewhat's of Science. Thus far, not many calls, but I remain positive in the possibilities. Thanks for the view and very nice comment. Very apprreciated, and have a nice night, what is left of it.

An area best avoided. Maps should be altered and read "Here be huge moles". Maybe the National Guard can come and have a look, from their APCs, of course.

O :
I feel they are a dangerous sort, advice shall be heeded, post haste

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.18
TRX 0.13
JST 0.030
BTC 58102.40
ETH 3065.94
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.26