"SEC S11W1: Challenging Your Beliefs about Motherhood and Fatherhood"

In the world, many young ones growing into adulthood most at times have one thing running in their minds. And that is-What does it look like to be a father or mother? Some ladies even day dream about it, imagining and practicing out how they would treat their children in the event they have one. They feel that without experiencing fatherhood and motherhood. They are incomplete.

On the other hand, others care less or are indifferent about fatherhood and motherhood. In fact, it is not an issue to them.

But what about me?

Do you think that a man or a woman is incomplete if they are not a father or a mother? Because?

This question is a subjective one. it does not require a no or yes answer. On a personal note, I would say no.

The reason is because, right from creation, a man and a woman were created as complete humans. Their being complete is not dependent on them having children or not. Both men and women can be happy and have all the joy in life without being a mother or a father.

So a man or a woman can entirely be happy and complete without experiencing fatherhood and motherhood.

Again, it all depends on the individual, the family and the culture of the land where one comes from.

I could remember that during courtship, I and my husband to be decided that we will wait a little before becoming parents. But as we got married and see couples who married the same period with us become pregnant and put to bed, I personally felt that we should have not made that decision because people were often asking us why we were waiting, why this and why that. At a time they were even thinking that we were impotent, that thinking even cript into my mind that I became devastated each month that my period flows. It wasn't easy at all. So this type of feeling can cause one to think that a woman or man is incomplete without becoming a father or mother.

Do you think that a father or a mother should put aside their goals or dreams for their children? Explain your answer.

Well all depends on how we view child bearing and training. We need to understand that every goal comes with its own responsibility. If we desire to grow our secular careers, it comes with a cost; the needed sacrifices.

In the same way, becoming a father and mother is a career of its own with attendant sacrifices and responsibilities.

If we are so excited about making it in our secular careers, and also running a family with children, we should know that it comes with a cost, we would excel but the family; children inclusive will suffer the consequences if career comes first.

As a father or mother who pursues a career growth, it will require your time to achieve it. Hence you will not be able to attend to your childrens emotional and mental needs.

That love and bond between parents and children will not exist. You will end up raising adults who are loveless, lacks feeling for the next person and believes that money or career is the most important thing in life. As they grow and marry, such way of life would be passed on to there own children, leading to a generation of unaffectionate persons.

It was due to child bearing and rearing that made me to drop my ambition of becoming a chartered accountant because as at that time, my husband was working in a bank without having much time to spend with us and to crown it all, he was at that time working in a different state while we lived in a different state. So the kids needs to be cared for, this, I gave up my ambition.

So I would say that if you really want to be a good parent (father or mother), you will put aside personal dreams that impacts negatively on the children and work towards successfully building your family.

Unless if the dreams and aspirations works in unison with raising lovely children. Remember No one can serve two masters at a time.

What vision do you have of people who decide not to have children?

In my culture, couples who decide not to have children are not regarded. Sometimes they are mocked and laughed at. They are even referred to as impotent and barren persons.

Personally, it is basically a person's decision. I do not have to mock or question that decision. After all, each one will carry his own load. They have their reasons for that.

Some may sincerely reason that they do not have the patience, time and strength to handle the challenges of being a parent. As for my husband and I, we reasoned that we needed to understand ourselves better before giving birth to kids. It is their decision to make. Gratefully, my environment is gradually owning up to the fact that not all should become a father or mother.

	my husband and I before we started giving birth to our kids

Do you think that to be a mother or father there must be ideal conditions? (economic, social and both physical and mental health) Why?

The answer is no. This is because, Ideal conditions are just like a mirage. It cannot exist presently.

A person can not have all in life. You can have it today and tomorrow it disappears. Unforseen occurrences can happen at anytime. So if that "ideal conditions" ceases to exist, would the children be thrown out on the street?.

There is no ideal condition in the world today, so any who want to enter the world of fatherhood and motherhood should count the cost.

Conclusion

Motherhood and fatherhood comes with great responsibility. Any who wants to embark on it should be aware that it is a 22 years or more project. Thus there is need to reflect and examine yourself before taking up that responsibility.

On the other hand, those who decide not to become fathers or mother should be respected for their decisions and treated with all impartiality.

What about you dear @patjewell @kauba01 and @karianaporras? Please use the contest tips from this contest to tell what you feel about the topic under consideration in this community. I will be waiting! Good luck to you all!