Don’t Tell Anyone That You’re Running a Marathon (or Anything for that Matter...)
Slow and Steady…
One hurdle that everyone has had in life is trying to do something according to your own free will. We all wish to accomplish something that others aren’t achieving without the assignment of a teacher nor order from parents. It is a supremely difficult thing and the main reason most people just work, eat, and watch the tube.
And for every successful personal goal like climbing a mountain or slimming off 10lbs, there are thousands of failed attempts that succumb to laziness and demotivation. We really so much on external pressure like a scale or app that we forget to nurture an internal sense of motivation.
There are a couple of salient ways I try to keep myself motivated (the prospect of revenge being one of them, muahahahaha….) and today, I’ll share one that has always kept me chugging along. Hopefully it helps you out too.
Don’t Tell Anyone
That’s it. Just don’t tell anyone your goals. Not your parents, your friends, maybe not even your spouse. Feel the urge to get advice and some external motivation? Don’t do it! Don’t tell anyone and go out of your way to hide it. Don’t post about it, don’t Tweet the world, and definitely don’t put it up on the Steem blockchain until it’s done and past.
There are some really compelling reasons for this.
1- Getting motivation from others actually takes away momentum.
One of the major consequences of telling someone your goals is that they (usually) congratulate you on embarking on such a worthy journey. Studies have found that this instills a level of accomplishment even before any real work has begun. This is one of the main dangers of “virtue signaling” and receiving debilitating praise before any major headway has been made. The last thing you want to do as an aspiring ‘marathon runner’ is to feel as if you’ve already run it before you begin training.
2- The look of surprise and reaction from your friends and family will be even stronger.
This is one of the most satisfactory aspects of keeping it a secret. Most people are fairly open about their resolutions and goals, mostly to receive the exact praise I outlined above. If you stay hush hush about your long-term ambitions, others will be doubly shocked that you actually did something for you own sake. That quality is rare in people today and will serve as an even higher feeling of fulfillment and uniqueness.
3- Bootstrap your confidence.
One of the most incredible sensations for anyone in this world is knowing that you did everything with your own two hands (or in this case, own two feet). In a world of interlocking social media madness, we’ve seem to forgo this deep satisfaction of bootstrapping by oneself. Try it out, even if its a small goal like fixing an old machine or making your own frames. I promise that the sensation is unrivaled.
I even found this gem on Youtube -
Not-so-humble runners aside, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on all this. What are your strategies for following through with your goals? As always, let me know in the comments below and Steem on!
Well, I noticed that people tend to think all my goals are impossible to achieve at a quite an early age, so they’d just laugh either straightforward or behind my back. That always kept me motivated to keep on going 🤓
Success is the best Revenge @fukako =)
It is indeed 😎
I remember watching a TED talk on exactly this topic - when we talk about a project we want to do, even without much reaction from those listening, our own brain processes, by imagining what and how we will do it, they imprint a faint trail that the brain partly mistakes for "already done".
So even if we talk to the mirror, talking about a project lowers our energy and motivation to actually embark on implementing the project.
Which is a pity in my case because I'm an extrovert and I gain energy from interacting with other - I seek "sounding boards" or "like souls" or what you call them. And I try to engage with them and win them over with the ideas and projects I have ...
저도 이 부분이 맞다고 봅니다.... 주변에 자기 목표를 떠벌떠벌 얘기하고 다니는 사람은 그걸 못 이루고... 조용히 이루고 나서 얘기하는 스타일들이 오히려 더 자기 목표를 초과하는 경우가 많더군요..... ^^ 마음속에 조용히 목표를 세우고 목표치 달성을 위해 노력해 나가야 하는거 아닌가 하는 생각이 듭니다.
저와 비슷한 답장인것 같습니다. 읽어주셔서 고맙습니다 케인님!
오늘도 영어 공부하면서 잘 읽고 갑니다^^
Thank you!
고맙습니다~
You really made salient points. More often than not, we sing our goals to everyone, and eventually bury it at procrastination grave. It's quite hard a task to keep to one self but I think will pay off. I would want to think there might be exceptions if the goal requires some professional expertise one may not possess, in a case you may need to speak to a professional. Thank you for the post. I stand to be corrected.
Seeking out legitimate advice is always a good thing. Projecting your 'virtue' and 'potential' to get a bit of external motivation is not always so healthy.
This is just a "wow" like it was meant for me. I'm someone who always have the urge to tell my parents whatever project I want to embark on even a new relationship. Not only that it makes you feel like you've accomplished something, it makes you so ashamed of yourself when it doesn't pull through and you feel like a failure. I think it is better you keep a secret, aim at it and succeed and wow everybody. Even if it takes 10 failures before the first success, well, nobody knows about it so you are actually on a safe ground. Nice one @hansikhouse. Great message.
It's only a failure if you make it out to be a single-minded goal when you start, hence the danger of telling others. Goals always change and those failures help reach new ones.
오늘은 읽고 느낀게 너무 많네요!! 비밀입니다..
하나는 현재진행형으로 5년째 금연중입니다.
나머지는 비밀로 하겠습니다 ㅎ
한식하우스님 편안한 하루되세요!
다시한번 오늘 포스팅 많이 도움이 된거 같습니다 감사합니다.
고맙습니다 우부님! 그 비밀인것은, 다음에 이루고 공유해주십시오
타인에게 자신의 목표를 말하지 마라 일리가 있는 말씀입니다!!!
요즘 사람들은 공개적으로 자신이 하고 싶은 일을 또는 하지 않을 것을 밝히고 남들에게 인정 받고 싶어하지요
외부의 힘을 빌어 목표를 달성하고자 하는데 정치공학적인 측면이 강하지요
반면에 침묵을 지키면서 추진력을 잃지 않으며 혼자 묵묵히 자신의 목표를 달성해 나가는 사람에게 놀라는 경우도 있지요
전자와 후자는 case by case 사람마다의 고유한 성격이나 주변환경에 따라 정하는 게 좋을 듯하네요
잘 읽었습니다!!!
그런 사람에게는 항상 놀랍습니다! 긍정 힘의 답 고맙습니다!!
So true @hansikhouse. I just realize it. The more I informed others of my goal, the more they expect from and they will not be surprised of what I am capable of. Great @hansikhouse. Thank you for the insight
thank you @leebaong ~
I've recently discovered this kind of mindset of not telling the world about what I'm doing or planning to do. Like you said 'If you stay hush hush about your long-term ambitions, others will be doubly shocked that you actually did something for you own sake.'
Sadly I'm starting to notice that more people around me are doing the opposite. 'This thing happens, I gotta tell the world. I have this idea, I need to alert my followers.'
I guess it is rooted to a confidence flaw or just a desperate need of acceptance by "friends."
This is particularly salient in Korea, where the prospect of doing something impressive is enough to sustain someone's social image...
Those types of friendships are pretty feeble.