There Will Be No Vagina Today

in funny •  8 months ago

@NoNamesLeftToUse will not have time to put together a proper vagina today.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Vagina.jpg

Hi there!

My name is @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself and there will be a few problems with my vagina today.

Just try to power through this vagina, bear with me here.

I had a different idea for a vagina and I planned on releasing that vagina today but unfortunately that vagina will be on hold.

This might be the most embarrassing vagina I ever put here. The plan was to work on at least one vagina every day so even though my tools aren't functioning properly, I should still be able to finish this vagina and keep the streak alive.

I discovered there was a small problem earlier when I responded to a text from a woman who will no longer speak to me.

This is what she said:

I miss you. Are you busy today?


Then I said:

I'll probably be working on this new vagina all day.


It was quiet for a few hours and that gave me plenty of time to stay focused on my vagina. Then the phone rang, which was odd, because I usually set it on vibrate when I work on my vagina. I put my vagina down for a moment and answered. It was her.

This is what she said:

You're an asshole!


I spent the next few moments after that speaking to my phone and asking it questions until I realized she hung up.

I thought maybe she had the wrong number so I got back to working on my vagina and stopped thinking about the call. My vagina was far too important anyway. The vagina comes first. If I don't finish my vagina on time, I start to rush things and the vagina comes out looking sloppy.

I was digging deeper into my vagina research when I received another text. These distractions were really starting to take their toll on my vagina and I was becoming frustrated with it.

This is what she said:

What's wrong with my vagina, you asshole!


I sat there for a few moments and stared at that text.

I didn't know what the hell was wrong with her vagina. I'm not a gynecologist. I checked myself and everything looked normal down there. I didn't notice a burning sensation when I went to the toilet earlier in the day. So, needless to say, I was slightly confused but trying not to be afraid.

I didn't want to put my vagina down for too long though so I quickly responded.

This is what I said:

I don't know. Itchy? Stinky? You tell me.


Then she said:

Yeah! Typical! Just be a sarcastic jerk and make jokes about it!


I wasn't joking and started to think maybe this woman was smoking crack or something. Nothing made sense but I had a vagina to do and dammit I was about to get to the climax.

Of course, this day wasn't getting any better. My dad sends me a text.

This is what he said:

How's the fence coming along?


So, I told him:

I just have one more vagina to stick in and I'll bring your vagina pounder back tomorrow.


Then he said:

Son, you're not drinking again, are you?


So I said:

No! What the hell are you talking about? The first vagina went in easy but the others took more time than I expected. I'll be finished with the vagina soon and you can have your tool back.


He's always telling me I work too damn slow and I probably have half of his garage in my garage.

So at that point I realized I was starting to fall behind in everything. I had my vagina to finish, one more vagina to pound, and I had to try to figure out what the hell was wrong with her vagina.

Then I get another text. It's dad again.

This is what he said:

Vagina?


I looked at that and started thinking, well who's drunk now?

So I said:

Vagina?


Then he said:

Why did you say vagina?


Then I said:

Because you said vagina.


Then he said:

No, you said vagina! I'm wondering why you said vagina!


Wow! Was I ever confused at that point. I went back to see what the hell he was talking about and sure as shit, the old man was right.

Every time I try to say vagina I just end up saying vagina. It's happening now too. I don't know how to fix it. I sent my friend a text. He usually knows about these things.

This is what I said:

Every time I say vagina it just says vagina. How do I fix that?


I suspect he has something to do with it because I noticed he sent me a drunk text last night at about three in the morning that I had somehow missed.

He said:

How's your vagina coming along. LOL


So yeah. The original vagina I wanted to show you guys today was all about the fence. I had pictures of every vagina and a few more progress shots to share but unfortunately that vagina will have to wait.

It's kind of hard to talk about pounding a vagina into the ground when every time you try to say vagina you just end up saying vagina.

I hope to have this problem solved soon and I should have a decent vagina ready by tomorrow.

I apologize in advance for this mess of a vagina but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Have a nice day.

linebreak1
Credits:
All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
"Nice vagina! Thank you for this wonderful information!"
WhonamezuhStudio@gmail.com

© 2018 Two Insanity Productions. All rights reserved.
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(Click the link for previous posts!)

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Sort Order:  

Thanks for the suggestion for the new tag. #vagina it is!

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I really meant to say vagina but... it's been a rough day. This vagina is a mess...

Free plug!

I'm not sure how many more views I'll get on this vagina but this is worthwhile mentioning. @punchline here is trying to get the attention of all you funny people out there. @punchline also often writes up a vagina asking for people to drop links they find of funny content. If you're funny and original or if you know someone who's funny and original, check out @punchline's blog and speak up, help your friends or both!

Thank you.

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We need as many funny vaginas as we can get our hands on.

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My vote didn't work. I fixed that. Great vagina!

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Sometimes being able to find the right spot on that button can be difficult on a vagina like this.

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I agree, I lost my VAG but I will find it again soon!

This was the funniest vagina I've enjoyed in a while!
Your vagina confused me at first, thinking to myself
"This is a weird vagina... I've spent enough time with the owner and follow the owner of this vagina... I'll get deep into this vagina and see what happens since I think I'm enjoying this vagina..."
Sure enough, your vagina made me smile and even laugh once.
Bringing up your father while I was literally deep in your vagina was a bit of a pattern interrupt, but I kept plowing away at your vagina until I was finished (well, let's be honest here: We both know it was your vagina that didn't have anything left, it was done son!)
I look forward to enjoying your vagina again.
Good effort 👍
P.S. I love how creative you are when you present your vagina, makes me want to really get in there and find out what's up!

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Thanks for visiting my vagina today, kind sir. Sorry if my dad killed it for you. I could have went on and on but I didn't want to stretch out this vagina too much. You know how it is. Gets boring after awhile.

And yeah! When it comes to my vagina, I like to send people down the rabbit hole, if you know what I mean.

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Your vagina is very enjoyable.
Thank you for the care you invest in making your vagina one I've never regretted spending time with 😊

I think I played a drinking game in college that involved saying vagina...other things too, but vagina was definitely the game starter. We really enjoyed playing games with vagina, vagina is so much fun. But speaking of fun ,I must poke it at your vagina.

Hm, that reminds me of one trippy night where my friend Ben and I realized that Diarrhea would be a beautiful name if it didn't mean what it means. It rolls right off the tongue. In fact I think Diarrhea would roll off the tongue into vagina quite nicely.
Oh yeah, I definitely win the grossest sentence of the day award with that one!

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Someone should write a diarrhea vagina. I vote for that vagina. My vagina seems to be getting skunked though! Oh well. I guess I'll just move on to the next vagina!

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I've been looking around, slow today. Howie said that there's a big dip happening and that's likely why. Compared to many others we still held our own pretty well in this deficit.

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Oh I'm not complaining don't you worry. Just wondering if I should do a shit vagina tomorrow or go all out again. What do you think?

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Whatevah floats yo boat...I wouldn't even dream of interfering with your process (mainly because I like to be surprised and you deliver on that pretty regularly ;)

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Maybe I'll get a boat then.

Sometimes there isnt much more to say than vagina. :O)

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Sometimes a good vagina vagina is all can vagina.

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NO, sometimes there's not much more to DO than vagina, especially if you live in GWN this time of year!

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of course vagina is so popular ...
everyone either thinks of vagina or deals with vagina.

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What I love most about my vagina is how I can store all my little things in it

So much confusion about vagina... Now every time I try to say vagina, I end up saying vagina as well! Gosh, how do I fix this vagina problem? haha

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This vagina was a lot of fun to write. I'm still waiting for an answer from buddy though. I hope it's not too late to fix typos!

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This is a real change from DICK jokes I am used to, and I am still adjusting my vagina.

😂😂😂hahaha Amazing and hilarious post.
I haven't laughed this much in a while.
That word can really get you in trubbel and be misunderstood... Lol
Love the comments from your dad.. Lol
Thank you for sharing and good luck with your vagina 😁😁hahaha
Have a wonderful evening. Cheers!

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I should have my vagina problems fixed soon. Thanks for laughing at my vagina today!

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I'm sure you will my friend 😉 no doubt!
My pleasure you made it easy with your funny writing. You really have a way of words I tell ya 👍 cheers!

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Some of my vaginas can get a little hairy but this one turned out good.

Cheers!

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Ohh so no hairy vagina fan then? 😂😂
LOL good thing this one turned out great then... Lol
Your crazy.. Lol
Cheers!

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Here we go, u just opened up a new can o worms and I will not be responsible for your vagina!

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That can of worms are now wide open 😁😁hahaha
Ohh I bet you are responsible to.
LOL kidding

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I agree, I alway like to shave that thing..
No hairy vag 4 me

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No more Bush then? 😂😂

Sometimes there isnt much more to say than vagina. :O)

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This comment was so nice, you said it twice!

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I wanted to give you the opportunity to exercise your poetry!

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I was a poet but didn't know it until you gave me this chance to show it and now look at this flow it seems to just glow.

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@ned should fix this comment system where the same comment with exact same chars is allowed to be posed twice. Does that seem flimzy to you?

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Dammit! Yeah, that was the transaction broadcast error nonsense when posting the first time. That would be a fine idea as there is no legit reason for it

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Did you just say the ned word?

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ANY TIME I WANT A BUG FIXED

I'll be honest, @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself, or should I say, Maude...

The vagina today wasn't my favourite. I've seen many better vaginas of yours in the past. A very low-effort vagina.

Oh, and one more thing....

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I'm sorry. I'll push harder when I work on my next vagina.

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Ah, Christ. You're way too good at this. Thanks for making me laugh today.

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No problem! Thanks for enjoying my vagina.

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The Dude and Vagina are One.

Post, dammit!

Post.

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OMG! You found my vagina!

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Woot! Your vagina is no longer lost.

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Oh vagina! Oh vagina! Oh vagina Clementine! You were lost and gone forever, vagina sorry Clementine.

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Ooooooh! You should hit that vagina with the d...Tube

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I've often thought about dressing up nice and reading my vaginas to people in video format. I'll smoke a sophisticated looking pipe and sit in a cool chair too. Put a bookshelf behind me so I appear to be intelligent. I don't have any books though. Just all these damn vaginas.

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Put the vaginas on the bookshelf beind you...

Boom!

Problem solved.

You were so annoying the way you kept replying to your dad, I wanted to slap you!! And at the end of the day, we didn't even see any vagina in this post.

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How did I know you'd come here and blast my vagina? huh! LOL

@nonamelefttouse you so much confused me that why reading about your vagina, I got late to finish my vagina. hahahahahaha

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I am sorry to hear about your vagina. I truly am. It's been a long day for everyone.

Oh my gosh!!!!!!! LOL BIG LOL
Can't believe I just read this... Thank you hahahaha

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Wow! Somebody sure enjoyed my vagina today!
:)
Thanks for laughing!

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Awww Thanks for sharing. One thing is for sure, your vagina won me over ;-) Followed

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I always knew this vagina would get me places!

I just hope no tools where harmed in the making of this creation. Cat’s and there nine lives and all that I’m sure be fine.

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No tools were harmed in the making of this production. Thanks for having a good look at my vagina today. I truly appreciate it.

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I just don’t have the balls to do that kind of thing you know. No really my owner had me fixed--what a vagina.

You can tell it took you all day of intense mashing to get that vagina texture right you can see the sweat beads all over it.

Those vagina colors are tripping me out it keeps shifting color. That or looking into the deep void of space has finally consumed the great vagina and nothing makes sense anymore.

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I actually had to rub that vagina for awhile to get it to look like that.

First and formost I would just like to say, that "The Dude" would approve...
And so does my vagina.

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My vagina wasn't that bad then, was it? That's good to know for next time.

The Male "Vagina Dialogues"

👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣I think she now understands if she reads you post!
Oh....
🤣🤣🤣 Im just getting cramps in my stomach.

Thank you for making me lough once again!
Resteemed!

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I hope she looks at my vagina... She usually does.

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Let us know if she did.

It reminds me of the old song: "Yes we have no vagina, we have no vagina today!"

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This is only vagina song I know.

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That face is enough to make me swear off them for good... (Nah!)

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I have this one too. Almost forgot!

Lmfao this is too funny. In this age of auto-correct it seems the joke was on you :)
Man, you're lucky to have a vagina pounder - I had to use a mini sledge!
@lonestarpoet

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I used to play a drinking game with friends and one of the rules involved saying a movie title but one word had to be replaced with vagina. This whole thing was loosely based on that.

You're right though, those vagina pounders come in handy!

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Haha great - well I'm glad to have added to the hilarity.
Drinking games are so fun.. We ought to have one

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OMG... Lol great game

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Haha isn't it? I have had the hardest time coming up with any names...
'Remember the vagina" maybe..?

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Forrest Vagina

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😂 lol vagina wood!
Hard to find the vagina for all the trees.. Lol
OK.. I shut up now... Lol

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Star Wars: The Vagina Strikes Back

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Damn you good 😉 how do I top that. 10 points to you 👍
Star trek: Vagina enterprise
... Ok that was lame 😜 lol

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u r 2 fun
f me big time
I like dick jokes

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Yes it is lots of fun and gives a big laugh... Lol

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😂😂 hahaha I belive you!
Remember the vagina? Hey that could absolutely work... Lol
Don't forget your vagina 😁😁lol
OMG you are crazy fun!

This is indeed funny....
at first i couldn't get it and it seems like i was lost, so had to go back and read over but later same thing happened again and i went back up and checked the tag on the post to its FUNNY. This vagina confused me but finally I got to understand that this your vagina is vagina.

lol

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Yes! It's just a little bit of wordplay. Sorry about the confusing vagina. Writing a humorous vagina can sometimes be a little awkward. They catch people off guard. Thanks for laughing!

lol. This is just very funny.

Especially the time when the lady called you.

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That was one of my favorite spots of this vagina as well. Thanks for enjoying it!

phew...!
i think i got my self lost in this whole vagina issue but i ended up lausghing after reading a vagina write up i never understood

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This vagina was mysterious indeed. Laughing at my vagina was the goal here. Thank you for laughing.

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Haha
you are welcome

Vagina! O vagina! This is hilarious @nonameslefttouse. Would you believe I was entrapped in the text till the very end. I hope you have a decent vagina ready by tomorrow hahaha #OWB

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Yes, I actually do believe you. This vagina was constructed to near comedic perfection intentionally. I wanted to surprise as many people with my vagina as possible. I'm glad you had fun.

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Your creativity is always on point. Thanks for sharing and I'm looking forward to your next post.

By the way, thanks for the upvote even though I really have nothing to offer 😢

This was my very first "visit" to a vagina. Never thought I would visit such destination lol. Thanks for having me...Hope to see your vagina soon again :P

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It was my honor to be able to introduce you to a vagina such as this. Plenty more where that came from!

It was a bit strange and unexpected post for me. But this is the most original thing I saw today) Health and successes to your vagina :)

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Yes, a vagina like this will most certainly catch a few people off guard. I've been more focused on my comedy lately. Taking a few risks, pushing a few boundaries... just so people can smile at my vagina.

very good post friends. I like people like you guys .. if you have time to visit my blog once my friend yes

Everything is very open with a clear description of the issues. It was really informative. Your post is useful. Many thanks for sharing!

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Yes. My vagina was informative.

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yap no dought ! your #vagina is very informative :P

Vagina?
What you say

Good post friends, do not forget to upvote my blog yes

I hope to have this problem solved soon and I should have a decent vagina ready by tomorrow.
¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿? lol ¿??¿?

holy shit how did i miss this post? ok, this will need to go into the hall of game in COM Discord channel #pussy-room-meow

https://discord.gg/5JZSm44

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You should see today's post. LOL! People missed that one as well!

Beautiful vagina. Very clean and leaves you with a nice taste in your mouth.

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You're a little late, but thanks for looking at my vagina.

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Better late than to never have seen it. It was brought to my attention in COM discord.

So nice and smooth. I can't help myself.

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