The many flavors of Carl 2 in 1 FUNDRAISER POST and (probably NSFW) Comedy Open Mic round 27 entry

in fundraiser •  27 days ago

So many flavors...

We have spicy Carl :)

NOT to be confused with "Hot Carl". That is a different thing entirely LOL

Carl sarong smaller.jpg
Spicy Carl is not exactly sure what he is doing with his mouth

My photographer instructed me to lift my chin up more and open my mouth slightly. This modeling stuff is harder than it looks!

Wait haven't we already seen your banana once this week?

Well yes, it is true, but there is an old saying that two bananas in the hand is better than one in the... wait that isn't quite how it goes. But you get the point, right? Or the tip as it were ;)

Believe it or not, there was even some popular clamor for more banana pics.


@d-vine & @stellabelle clearly are connoisseurs

But what's all this about a fundraiser then?!?

Step right up, ladles and jelly beans...

to the "Get @llfarms to SteemFest" fundraiser sideshow tent! See the bearded man perform feats of modeling! Can't handle the beef? Get out the kitchen!

100% of ALL author post rewards from this post (I will match the SP portion with liquid Steem) will be donated to @llfarms toward Justine's trip to SteemFest! This includes @comedyopenmic prize money (if any).


@llfarms is awesome and totally deserves your support in her quest to attend SteemFest entirely funded by Steem! Watch her video and you will see why :)


bananarama.jpg
I pointed my finger. That is how you can tell I am a classy bitch.

Spiffy GIFy Shimmy

carl shimmy gif.gif
Wurk it :) If you look carefully you can see the incredibly rare Carl attempt at a duck face during the course of this GIF masterpiece

Flex!

Carl flex gif.gif

carl flex smaller.jpg

I hear angels calling...

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Oh what you didn't think I was going to go fully monty?

Carl Sunbeam.jpg
Seriously, how do models keep from cracking up the ENTIRE TIME?!?

Cameo by Yeti the Dog

carl shades 7 yeti.jpg
Yeti I am not 100% sure that is appropriate. But then I remembered what the rest of this post was like and I am going to let the tongue slide this time LOL

Butt seriously...

I know this has been a firmly tongue-in-cheeks post up to this point, but I do hope the underlying body positive message comes through. There is not a single part of my body that could possibly be described as skinny. According to the extremely widely used BMI (Body Mass Index), at 5'7" and 215 pounds I am squarely in the "obese" category. I am also an active and physically fit 38 year old man and I am not at all ashamed of how my body looks. I love my body. It hauls me up mountains and climbs me up trees and dives me to the bottom of the swimming hole. It carries my two sons when they are tired. It is a good body. And thorough*

Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes...

Love your body, people!

It is the only one you have.

Much love - Carl

carl sarong 3 smaller.jpg

I nominate...

@artisticscreech because I bet he could write an amazing Comedy Open Mic entry; and I nominate @hiddenblade because she is a badass


Also mad props to my beautiful photographer and wife @dillemma for not only putting up with my shenanigans, but actually encouraging and enabling them <3


*Bonus points if you can tell me what the heck that non sequitur of a reference is from LOL

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Can you do a calendar spread to raise money for curation? :)

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I really don't need any encouragement LOL Actually this entire photo shoot came about because I floated the idea of a "Men of Curie" calendar in the curator lounge... you are in, right? ;)

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I would buy this. They all need to be in the water with sunlight thought and wearing sarongs and flowers

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OR they could be themed in different ways but still with water and light and softness lol
I wonder who else would be brave enough?? Half the people dont show their face... I bet @buttcoins would do it but his wife would have to allow it lol

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we are working on it :)

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Yes!!! This!! 100% this ... come on Carl, this is the true goal here.. get your ass naked and save curation 🙌🏼

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Putting this here for transparency :)

Plus I sent over SBD prize money from Comedy Open Mic a few days ago but I forgot to screencap that before it disappeared from my recent transactions. All funds paid from this fundraiser post plus a donation. You rock @llfarms!

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Ha! Classic carl is now a steemit art form!

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Hahah, that was a lot of fun though!

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It needs to become a tradition monthly where is waldo....aaaah @carlgnash

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Hahaha I love how the sarong was removed... Didn't you feel a bit awkward tho? Undressing Carl?

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I already undressed @carlgnash with my mind countless times!

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Ok, I might have felt a little bit awkward

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Dude.....

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It's okay darling, I don't bite... hard... okay that is a lie LOL

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This is so awesome! Nice strategic leaf placement. Thanks for undressing me but leaving me some dignity at same time LOL This is cracking me up :) :joy: <3

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Need the finger scene as well, but pointing towards.. well you know what. :D

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Creation of Carl.jpg

Is this what you mean by the 'finger scene'?
Sorry Carl, I had to do it!

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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OMG!!! Wow! Great work!

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on further reflection this is my favorite part of the entire post. You killed it :) I love how well you matched my skin tones into the painting. And the sarong.

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Because you are art. :P

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OMG hahahahahaha this is on fire!

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y tu eres la aproxima, si?

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siiii lo intentare! :)

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jiji donde lo esta ???!?!

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soon soon! XD

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Hahaha! Im GOING TO DIP IN!

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This is now thing :D tuen carl into a painting :D

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ah aha ha that is a great idea! Or a terrible idea. One of those LOL

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hahhahahahaha hilarious! Well done!

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ERMAGERD wow. Divine!!! Also this seems scandalous. What exactly are those ladies doing to me?!?

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What happens in the pond stays in the pond!!! ;)

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ooo i think you're being groomed lol

This is so hilarious!! And magical.. you look like a Disney princess.
True, love your body! Hahaha!
And dannngg I actually planned on making another entry for COM but I just couldn't pick the energy. Now I am pressured!!! LOL Thanks for thinking I am badass ;)

wtf dude, hahaha.

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Don't worry dude, we had the People for the Ethical Treatment of Sausages rep on site while we were shooting and no sausages were harmed in the making of this post.

Well hot damn Carl!! You are quite the model, I am super impressed.. and the duck lips are Kardashian level!! Tell your wife she freaking rocks for her contribution here. 😍

Love the positive message as well and agree 100% .. love your body people!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You are too kind to include me in this, and I don’t even know how to express my gratitude for the thought that went into it. 🤗 Hilarious but sweet all the same.

I think I’ve gotten over being tagged everytime someone wants to post a photo of their hot bod... 🤔 I’m starting to enjoy it a bit.... maybe it will become a thing on the platform... Hey, gonna post a shirtless photo? Make sure you tag LL!

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"Hey, gonna post a shirtless photo? Make sure you tag LL!" should be your blog footer, no?

this is funny as heck and for all that you say you are overweight (according to BMI - screw them) dude you got it goin on! oh and the yellow spandex - lol!

it's about time the ladies got some spicy photos to gawk as i'm quite tired of looking at all the perfect boobs and butt twerking I normally see in the chat channels.

your message is righteous as is the cause! LL farms I hope this bags the ticket! thanks for the giggles :)

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Oh to be clear, I didn't say I was overweight :) I said, according to the BMI, I am obese. I am obviously not obese LOL My point was that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. A one size fits all approach for health or beauty is ridiculous. But thanks for the vote of confidence! And the other kind of vote as well, of course - this one is for a great cause. Much love

EDIT the other bit you say is actually important as well I think - positive, healthy examples of normal male sexuality are few and far between. Images like this are a needed counterbalance to the sort of perfect boob and butt twerking memery you are talking about. I am happy to objectify myself for a good cause. And also, of course, because I am a total exhibitionist LOL

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totally agree. BMI says I should be 130 pounds, which in my reckoning means I would be a twig with no boobs or butt, and to get there I would need to exercise and never eat. as I love eating and have no time for exercise, that is obviously not happening ... I wonder what percent of americans actually fits into their outdated parameter? shrugs

You got a chuckle out of me gnasher. Next time twirls and barrels rolls please. <3

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Hey nice thanks for stopping by @sammosk :) I will work on my moves for next time LOL

what. did. i. just. see.

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A: A piece of art
B: A piece of work
C: A piece of _______ (fill in the blank)

LOL

Hey you are partially to blame for this dude the whole photoshoot idea sprang up as a fundraiser for @llfarm's Steem powered trip to SteemFest

You sir, are my spirit animal for this week. <3 <3 <3

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Oh what? Sweet!!! Engaging spirit protection now :)

hahahah I'm going to agree in the fact that bathing naked in the river is a must from time to time... And joke apart, I have pictures in your exact pose "about to crack) hmm I think I was dressed in that one... but see? not that easy!! we´re all posers! hahah You look all peaceful and think... my back is breaking!! :)
But I can say I do enjoy nature... and also the naked barefoot kind hahaha

pd. that pareo is a teaser LOL

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yes! And the true skill of the model of course is to not let any of that strain or ridiculousness of the pose come through in the face. I am terrible at it, I was grinning like an idiot most of the time :) For instance, I couldn't get a single shot of me trying to kick up water without huge grin LOL
Carl Splash.jpg

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Hahaha true
Now you will understand LOL
Similar situation
https://www.instagram.com/p/BVIFqoYhZsx/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=14stqk68dleih

Pd: you have better legs
Pd 2 I just laughed at myself now, yeah probably was not so serene. I cant do that now, i have a disjointed shoulder lol but not due to posing awkwardly lol

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That is a great shot :) Having beautiful flowing hair makes that pose work a little better I think LOL

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I think yours was a braver one lol, but you made me laugh at myself (it is a good thing). Here fighting my pc for the first time premiering a videoclip on blockchain filmed these last months. Proves that playing harp in the fields looks easy until you return home with butt ache and a few ticks lol should be up tonight if i do not smash my pc into pieces

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It is all too real and I love it!

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am truly inspired! Carl :]

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hahahahahahah lololololol

Looking good Carl.
Looking reeeeaaaallll good.

Sexy Beast

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Thanks dude! It is good to see this post has broad reach with the gentlemen as well as the ladies. LOL

Hahahaha. I just had the best sleep I've had in ages and then woke up to this.

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sooooo wait... are you saying I ruined your good night of sleep, or this was more like the cherry on top? LOL

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I was deliberately being ambiguous. :)

haha this post made my day! thanks man! :)

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thanks brother!

Amused me to death!

Thanks a bunch!

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the pleasure was all mine, I am sure! Any time <3

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Undoubtedly!

Funny! And I like the action shots...are they gifs? How did you do that effect?

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Yeah they are GIFs, to be honest I don't even know how to do that myself LOL My wife's camera (cell phone) puts those together automatically if she takes pictures in rapid succession. I am sure any modern phone can do this but in some respects I am still a caveman LOL I have used some websites online to make GIFs out of photos you upload but they all turned out super low resolution

The Carlgnash Calendar coming 2019. Nothing at all to do with that other CC ;)

Now that you have that summer portion done I’m guessing we can expect to see a fall and winter at some point.

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Yeah man I was trying to find some old pictures of me in my boxers standing on top of a beached iceberg up in Alaska but I couldn't find them. I was originally actually going to do a 12 month calendar post but in the end this is what happened LOL

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I'm starting to think you should be in those beer commercials where there is that "Most interesting man in the world."

Sounds like you need go back to Alaska at some point hehe.

Probably the best entry I have come accross, thus far! This made my day, Carl! 😄☺😁

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Wow thanks! High praise!

jajajajaja I loved your photo shoot, it's great, I congratulate you for that message you leave, let's love our body without any kind of complexes, also you look great. pd: I loved the ninth picture.😉❤

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Thanks! It is a message that we can all be reminded of. Yeah I am a bit of tease in that last picture LOL

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You are such a goof ! Love it :)

I heard the angels calling too - I must be in heaven!

Well as this is of course a fundraiser post for @llfarms I vote a 100% .. so my 3 full cents are contributing to get your ass to Steemfest :-)

But of course I also vote for your modeling skills, and your photographer @carlgnash! I mean that are some serious banana/ orange poses you are showing us here.. We can learn from that!

<3

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yes I think there is something here for everyone :)

Hahaha, I am crawling on the floor laughing <3 Thank you for the mention @carlgnash <3

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LOVE YOURSELF <3

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AHHH!!!! I can't stop watching that bottom GIF. Holy cow. I think I am about to become enlightened. Or something. Here this is my best effort in a similar vein:

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LOL 😂
You got that Burt Reynolds going @carlgnash 🤘🕺✊️💕

Hi carlgnash,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

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Thanks, I will assume the position!

I think my laptop is turned on by your spicy hotness you sexy man

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your "laptop"? Is that what you call it? LOL

Lololololololol lololololololol

Posted using Partiko iOS

Wow this went waaaaaaaaaaay beyond my program! Too hawt!

Posted using Partiko iOS

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yes this banana grew wings and flew off and took on a life of its own LOL :)

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I can’t wait to see you in that yellow wig!

Posted using Partiko iOS

Awesome! You need to make a COM calendar...I'd buy one and proceeds to to the Steemfest tix LOL

An "Angel" calling "HOT Banana" to "Flex" some "Donald" face for "Carl" modelling....
you got it absolutelly perfect poses....👍

Posted using Partiko Android

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You know I really owe all the credit to my photographer LOL My wife was a great sport and told me exactly what to do LOL

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Great to know...some naughty mind behind hot carl..👍

Posted using Partiko Android

2sxy4me

XD

complete amazeballs

<3

very funny and also a great message, yes ! love your body, people !

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thanks spider, I know you have a great eye ;) so your stamp of approval means a lot to me LOL LOL


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

Oh I just have to love Yeti, I'm sorry ... :') And of course I support @llfarms on her trip to steemfest.

Now that I've gazed upon the hairy man sweater that is Carl Gnash I'm not sure I can ever be the same. XD

You sir have earned yourself a follower. Great work in this insanity.

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I can't promise that all of my posts are like this LOL I may have set an unreasonable expectation here

Hahaha, if this is 'Spicy Carl' I can't wait to see 'Hot Carl'!!!! :D This is one of the funniest posts that I've seen in a long time! Thank you for making me laugh!

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You don't want to see the "hot Carl". Don't google that term, honestly, if you don't already know what it is! LOL but seriously, don't

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Oh, I don't know what it is! :D And now I really don't know if I want to know, lol.

Dude that's a healthy Dad bod! Way to be an inspiration to your sons, by living an active lifestyle and being proud of the man you are. That is our job as fathers.

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Thanks for the nice comments dude :) And you have summed it up really nicely - that is exactly what our job as fathers should be, and it feels good to do it :) Much love - Carl

Brilliant! You're a natural 😉

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Thanks! Some of those poses felt pretty ridiculous but it was a ton of fun :)

Btw that beard is glorious!

Damn! Way to go Carl

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now you gotta provide the beats for the next sexy photo shoot LOL

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Hehehe Kanabeatz got you

Damn! Way to go Carl

You are a sexy fracking beast! Mate you are beautiful.

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Awww thanks! That never gets old LOL

Carl! it's always nice to read your posts and see you but this time I saw too much! please cover your fat ass!
haha... just jocking! I disagree with the BMI obesity thing!
Good luck with the fundrasing!

Good job. I wish I could resurrect my trash the dress post to help out. I will pull something from the archives to try and raise a couple more bucks for the cause.

HAHAHAH CARL! Oh my... XD I think I've torn apart the corners of my mouth because of this post. LOOOOL

LOL best non-NSFW NSFW post ever! .....from the awesome Carlster!

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Thanks DJ - really the reaction from the community here in the comments has been priceless :)

I haven’t seen so much cock since I went to my uncle’s farm

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Or went through pictures for inspiration to write the cock song.

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Also, I don’t know how late I am to the party. But my next COM Entry will serve as a fundraiser for @llfarms as well.

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Not too late for the party at all, @llfarms is still fundraising for SteemFest trip :) You rock!

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LOL I was just thinking about the cock song when I read your original comment - I was thinking, dang, even more cock on Amir's uncle's farm than the cock song!

Now I know where you come from .bosch.jpg
Where's Waldo?

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OMG this is AMAZING and it took me an embarrassingly long time to find myself LOL

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Did you say embarrassing??? hahaha That’s the real surrealism!
My pleasure. Your place ;)

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Dude you have to enter this in @tygertyger's contest! It is so perfect
https://steemit.com/whereiscarl/@tygertyger/where-is-carl-contest

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Just do what the muse asks.

Wtf :D