How I choose my friends and why it is so important for you to know?

in #friends7 years ago (edited)

So here is another article about myself. I keep writing these articles describing myself for people to know more about me who enjoy reading my work, and this one is going to be interesting as everyone who wants to friendship with me will understand why I don't befriend them all and why I am not cruel or egoistic for doing so . Haha. Also another main reason is that if you hang out with some people and never gave it a thought whether your friend deserves to be with you or if he/she is a good company, then you might be taking whole your life directed towards a deep ditch.

Earlier in my childhood, I tried everyone to be my friend because I thought that more the number of people you know, more would you be able to make them help you whenever required. May be that's why I was called jugadu (makeshifter) by many people and it is true also. The more contacts you have, the more you are likely to receive help. But hey, this is only half the truth.

Trying to make everyone your friend doesn't work out for anybody. Even if you are an extrovert, having so many friends comes at its own cost. So what happened with me was that I tried to be nice to everyone, I never use to say anything to anybody in my defense to keep the relationship strong, no matter what they said or did to me. But every person is different and not everyone can understand each other. There would be some who would criticize you, some who might think you are weird, some might even make fun of you, some may appreciate you as well, some won't understand you, some would be obliged to just get a chance to speak to you and moreover, when you are somebody like me, totally weird, philosophical, imaginative, deep, different and an individualist, it becomes very tough for you to hold on to such people around you because all they will do is make fun of you.

I had a totally different perspective to literally everything in this world and all my friends(well most of them) would make fun of it. I used to think what's so funny in my deep talks. Whenever I used to realize something and awaken to a new theory, I was very much excited that it got revealed to me and I had a tremendous urge to let other people know about it whenever a universal or artificial phenomenon revealed itself to me. But who was going to believe it anyway, so one day, I stopped.

I just stopped making friends and I even stopped speaking to my old friends. I stopped to have the will to be called a make-shifter anymore, because I realized that having more friends can't help you. They are your friends for their own benefit. They won't care to help you if they criticize you, make fun of you, do not understand you and more. If they don't take you seriously, they would never help you when required. The people who would actually help you would be some real close friends of yours who might not be having many contacts but still will anyhow find a way to help you.

So I dropped all my contacts in the gutter and went deep into finding more truths of the cosmos. I got indulged in meditative practices and while my eyes were closed during the process, it was then when I got awakened. Life is ironic. I stopped telling people about the truths and instead, I started writing those and it is working pretty well until now.

I am now very selective when it comes to making friends and talk to new people, or even talking to my old friends. I see that most of the people in India are very much into Drama. Yes, and I stay away from dramatic people, people who over react and stretch small issues.

Next, I can't talk to people who talk about meaningless things. Talks which don't have a purpose, which are made just to satisfy emotional needs. I see people talk s**t about others to make the other person agree to them, thus satisfying their urge to be proved right in front of somebody. I can't indulge in such talks and so I stay away from these kind of people. I have attained an emotional and logical balance and may be that's why I can not stay around people having an imbalance of either emotions or logic. I can only befriend people who can talk sensible, about those things which really matter.

I would still befriend people who are unable to understand my theories. It's not easy to digest such concepts of mine without experiencing so I understand that, but those who completely restrict themselves from listening to whatever I have to say about deep things, are erased of my friend list. I understand that these things are not easy to apprehend but even when I present logics and facts and they are unanswerable to it, but still do not want to understand things, I would prefer not to be around any such person anymore. After-all, why should we be with someone who can not accept that he was incorrect. We all are humans and we can not always be right.

I don't befriend people who DO NOT change every 3 months. Now, people look for those who do not change, but I do the opposite. One who doesn't change quick does not upgrade and is already dead. Change is necessary. It is important that one keeps on learning which automatically will prove their old opinions wrong and will thus allow new blood enter their brain and keeps them upgraded, awakened and on the path of enlightenment.

I don't make friends with people who always praise me !! Yes, it certainly means that they find me worth being with them and that is why they are with me. They are with me for themselves, because they consider me good enough. Don't take me wrong here, I don't mind to be friends with people who appreciate me but with those, who always keep on blabbering that I am one in a million. It shows their selfishness in being with that special one, which is I in this case and not exactly for me and my qualities but for their own satisfaction.

Neither those people who care too much about me, who in reality just show that they care so that I can allow them to come closer. A person who defeated their ego can't be impressed by an act of showing care. Those people who keep digging to know more about me, who try to have a conversation where I am the topic. I don't want to talk about myself, I want to talk about the world, universe, our purpose, reason of our existence and topics as such !!

I never make friends with people who do not understand me. What's the point to be with someone who is always arguing with you on every topic. I don't argue with people. What I believe is that every body have their own perspective and so we should not fight each other or argue to prove who is right and who is wrong because no body is never right or wrong, it is just a matter of opinions which are impermanent.

That is a whole list of points I see with choosing my friends. Well it might not seem to be that important to be so selective but you have no idea how much important it is to select wisely the people who you wanna keep around. A group helps in shaping each other's opinion. A good company can make you and a bad one can break you. Don't be around those people who don't know what they want with their life.Don't ever be with those who make fun of you. They will let you believe that you are worthless. No matter how rich they are, how popular they are, how many contacts they have, how they CAN help you when required because they won't. There is so much a person can do but they simply won't do it. Only be with people who are sensible and think big, who are understanding, open minded, no matter how poor they are, how lonely they are, how unpopular they are, or how much they are made fun about.

This is very important for everyone reading it because friends can either bring out the best of you and can also kill it if not chosen wisely. I hope you will make a decision to cross out all the useless people you hang out with. Don't waste your time. There is an amazing world out there filled with super amazing people. Let us go out and find each other, change each other and change this world together !! All the best !!


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I don't want to befriend you now 😊.
You were very sweet in your childhood. I'd have befriended you then but not anymore.

This statement sounds a little incoherent to me:

I have attained an emotional and logical balance and may be that's why I can not stay around people having an imbalance of either emotions or logic.

I hope, this will go away when you attain a little more maturity & balance. Then probably you won't care staying around these people too.

BTW, much of your article makes me feel that you want friends who can listen to your philosophies or come to your help whenever you need any help. These two looks more important to you 😜

But why you want to teach your philosophies to your friends. Let them discover it on their own. If you just act upon your own philosophies, it should be enough for you!

It's a good statement that

I don't befriend people who DO NOT change every 3 months.

But it also means if you find someone not changing over time then YOU too haven't changed.

Well, it was a long read for me but I took only one major conclusion out of it. It's that I shouldn't befriend you. You have given me several reasons of me being unworthy of your friendship. I also concluded that with time you will befriend everyone. A person who has defeated her ego can not keep any enemy and will make friends with one and all. So why should I care how you choose your friends. I'll qualify one day anyway 😊

Pura time nikaal kr pdhungi. :p Tum ek kaam kia kro :p Comment ki jgah article likh kr link paste krdia kro :p so that u can earn from your posts :p :p

Welcome to Steem :)

Welcome to Steemit! I wish you a good day and inspiration to create in our community! Please follow me :) and upvote all my post and i do the same.
upvote and comment on my new post.
https://steemit.com/math/@xamir5/answer-if-you-are-genius-question-6

I feel I can really relate to your post it would seem now that the less I know people the happier I am. I am english and live in Bulgaria and to be honest it makes me sad when I speak to other english people in the country, because its not what I am here for. Thank you for posting this.

You will find people like you don't worry. When you know that you have to choose people, even that is a great achievement. To find what we are looking for, we need to ignore and delete what we aren't looking for. That's how life is. Thanks for the comment :)

welcome to the steemit community, hope you will enjoy it and have a wonderfull time here^^ followed you and upvoted…

I think staying away from drama prone people is very good advice. I know far to many people who only create drama and they are never happy. It sounds like you are much smarter than a lot of your older friends. It's good you seek out those who are of equal intelligence so you can discuss things you enjoy.

True, drama is for the dumb. An intelligent person will discuss things, not create a drama about it. Thanks for your comment :)

Hi dear friend, welcome to Steemit. I want to welcome you on this amazing platform. If you have any questions concerning how to start here do not hesitate to ask, I will be more than happy to help you as much as I can.
I am a spiritual leader here on steemit, should you need to read God's word or receive a prayer, you are welcome on my blog as well.
You can Follow me too at @pastorlea
God bless you in your new journey on steemit...

Thank you :)

you are welcome...

Very Impressive

This post is the truth, I swear.

Another set of points I'm really glad you figured out for yourself.
It took me some time, and the lower bulk of my teenage years, but I eventually wound up figuring out all this stuff as well, and I agree with everything you've said here.

Trouble for most people who still haven't realized this yet, is that for those of us who share the attributes you mention about yourself here, companionship and friendship are so important because of how much our views differ from the norm, and we need people to be able to talk to about them, except there's always trouble finding them, especially because of the kinda mockery we all face, and the growing need they experience to hide stuff like the kind they're into.

I was in college for almost a whole year with this one dude called Kabir, and it wasn't until after countless chats with him about all kinds of stuff, that I realized he was into spirituality too :P

It was almost maddening cause I had to leave that very year.

But yeah, you made some seriously valid points here, and it is important to select your friends wisely, cause some of the ones I had before, were just too damn negative to my overall picture, and it wasn't until I started becoming selective that a crew of true friends started to form around me. Brothers and sisters who could be themselves around me and each other, and who I could be myself around each other...nothing hidden.

Friendship means nothing if it only shows but isn't felt.

So, good on you for making this post, and sharing your experience with this too, and so others who learnt this lesson could as well. And any who don't may potentially learn a thing or two. Odds are low given how introverted these kinds of people can be, and how reluctant they can prove to try and do something different when it comes to this stuff sometimes. But still...at least there's something out there.

Thanks for reading it such thoroughly @callistanix, and your detailed reply. Your replies are equivalent to an article I must say😅😅. It happened with me also once that I was suspicious about a very close friend of mine as he used to remain too calm. I had a doubt that he is into spirituality and later when I opened up in front of him and he too spoke about chakras and all, i was damn surprised!!

Thanks for your comment. I find very relaxing when people actually go through these but I wish I could help the general public as well through these articles. Still finding a way to do that.

Thanks for reading it such thoroughly @callistanix, and your detailed reply.

You're most welcome :)

Your replies are equivalent to an article I must say😅😅.

Yeah, they can get kinda long.

It happened with me also once that I was suspicious about a very close friend of mine as he used to remain too calm. I had a doubt that he is into spirituality and later when I opened up in front of him and he too spoke about chakras and all, i was damn surprised!!

And then you had cause for party :P
Its always exciting when you find a fellow spiritualist. Better late than never, right?

Thanks for your comment. I find very relaxing when people actually go through these but I wish I could help the general public as well through these articles. Still finding a way to do that.

Well, become a permanent whale and everybody on Steemit will stumble upon your articles eventually in their time here XD

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