Five minute free write - Rain
The first moments of conciousness were confused.
My mind pulling itself from the comforting embrace of sleep. Limbs slowly coming back to life I opened my eyes. Trying to figure out exactly where I was by the hints around the room.
It was raining, hard. Agressive drops slammed against the tin of my rooms roof. Unable to distinguish one from another it sounded like waves crashing on the beach...but metallic, hollow.
The air was damp, filled with salt.
I was deep in my sleeping bag, vision obscured by a mosquito net. Scrambling for reference my brain sought purchase in what it saw.
Where was I again?
Oh, yes, Cambodia. Rather, an island just off the coast. Somewhere...
I took a deep breath.
The sun hadn't risen yet. I was still in my small room on the pier mounted solidly on heavy pillars that stradled the waters I knew to be this crazy shade of aquimarine. At least in the light.
Shaken from my sleep by the ear shattering crashes from outside my window, I was awake, but not. The pull of sleep irresistible but the desire to experience what was going on around me... strong. The loop of lightning, thunder, rain, soothing in it's own way. My whole existence floating gently in-between places.
Six breaths, I think, is what it took before I was asleep again. Just long enough to see, hear, and place into memory this particular moment.
Once again I run away from the multiple prompts put out by @mariannewest for her Five minute free write but I've been wanting to write about this moment for a long while.
It actually happened. I was in a bunk on a pier sleeping underneath mosquito nets on an island off the coast of Cambodia. ...this morning these memories are really strong. Maybe it's because it's raining in LA right now. Maybe it's because I really miss traveling and want to get out on the road again.
I think I'm infected with wanderlust.
Never able to stay anywhere too long. It's a craving that I've been fighting off for a long time. Pretending to be someone who seeks stability, I've been trying to be a part of normal life. Or, what people take to be normal life.
Get a job, find work, become established, put down roots, all that jazz. I've tried it. Been trying it. For something close to 8 years now. And, I've found no success or happiness at all in any of it. I've tried, I can't tell you how hard I've tried. I've done all the things that should make a life like that work, but, it hasn't. It's like the universe keeps on telling me I'm not doing the right thing.
So the question becomes, how do I get back to my life?
The one where I wake up to rain slamming against a tin roof? But, I don't want to just travel for travels sake. That's an occupation of the young. I want to do something more, help people, somehow, use the experiences I have to inspire others to do, not just to dream. Dreaming is great and all, but getting people to do...so much better.
Anyways, as always, I've begun to ramble on. My prerogative though, hehe, since this is @mikesthoughts after all. LOL
Thanks for dropping by and reading! :)
Michael
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Very nice post ...
Nice post
Thanks :)
You are welcome 😊
Wanderlust is a chronic disease, you might forget about it with work and everyday stress, but it never really goes away.
Interesting experience, but most of all nice to have such memories...
Yeah, hope to make some new memories like this soon :)
I loved your view on traveling . Some people travel just to scrub off their extra money and they feel like working during their travel time ,while some people gets a rebirth when they travel , they enjoy every fleck of thing and gets happiness from it . I like your idea of helping people . Good write .
Thank you! :) Yeah, I view traveling more as a religious experience where you dive into another world and absorb as much as you can. That's why I can't do short trips. Not enough time to really get a feel for a place.
Your reasons for wanting to travel in the spirit of helping others and giving are terrific! You've written so much of your unhappiness with the path of your life in the last few years. Are you considering looking into a career with any charitable organizations? With the list of things that you've done, there is a lot that you could do to help so many.
I have been thinking about that for a while. But, you want to hear the stupid part? I have no idea where to start. Like, I start to think about it, and my mind gets lost in where to begin. Then the whole lack of confidence kicks in like a mule and the doubt I have in my skills rises, and then I retreat into my comfort zone. An extremely frustrating process. But, I do want to try that path, I think...
Maybe you could start with what any charities that you support? Find out where else in the world they operate and if there's a call for volunteers needed. Getting started can be hard, especially when the doubt monster rears its head ( I've seen that ugly bastard way too often). As for the skills that you've listed off in some of your previous posts, why wouldn't they be needed, why can't they be used to help others? Maybe one or two places will not have what you're looking for but will be able to send you in a good direction. Hugs
Hehe, until I can make enough money to survive, volunteering isn't really an option for me :\ The couple organizations I've approached have usually rebuffed me because I don't have a certain skillset or background that they feel is necessary, so that didn't help. A lot of organizations I want to help out with are too damn political, as in, because I'm a white male I'll never understand, kind of thing. But, going to keep on trying. Thanks for the encouragement! Whenever that little monster rears it's head, I use the confidence others have in me to reignite my own. If I can't believe in myself, I'll believe in those that believe in me and trust they're right. Strange, but helps, hehe.
I do think that there are lots of opportunities to help and do good. with your skill as a photographer and writer. How about to visit all the eco-type of vacation places. Where people have initiatives to help with poverty, pollution, hunger... and turn it into destinations.
just thinking out loud :)