The Hawker [5MinuteFreeWrite]
Hawk Source & Background Source
The hawk screeched, as it flapped its wings, while gliding across the hawker centre. Most of the onlookers were terrified, but the regulars had gotten used to the winged predator. Bird feces on the seats and tables was the price they pay to be rid of the vermin swarm that plagued the kitchens. It was a trade-off everyone was willing to make. Without anything in its talons, the bird perched itself on top of a bearded man's shoulder, who was just outside the food hall.
"No more rats!" an elderly woman remarked to the bearded man, who had his wares sprawled out on top of a bedsheet at the side of the road. "No more free food! Thank you, but you go now!"
"Could I just—"
"No, no, no. You go now!"
The bird had done it's job. Too well, one might argue. In exchange for the pest extermination, the man had been given free food and was allowed to hawk his goods in front of the centre, rent-free. The truth was, the goods he sold were not his own. They were all given to him by his hawk as payment for saving its life when it was but an eyas.
The bearded man accepted his eviction, gathered his things and headed towards a nearby alleyway. He sent his hawk away for a bit so that it could forage. Meanwhile, he busied himself by gathering a mischief of rats that nested on nearby trash bins. He then returned to the hawker centre an hour after it closed, releasing the rats that he had collected.
The next day, he casually passed by and found himself, once again, employed by the hawker centre. He let his hawk loose, and then sat on the nearest, clean table to wait for his food. After a few minutes, the elderly woman approached him, carrying a bowl of his usual noodle order.
"Ahh yes!" the bearded man exclaimed as he rubbed his palms in excitement. He broke off the chopsticks and started to slurp down on the hot dish.
As he neared the bottom of the bowl, he couldn't help but notice a noodle strand thicker and darker than the rest. He followed the strand and discovered that it was, in fact, connected to a tiny rat. His hawk screeched.
This was inspired by @improv's 5-Minute Free Write Series. The mechanics are simple: you set the timer to 5 minutes (no more, no less), sit in front of your computer, and you write your ass off until you're told not to, but then you bargain for just a little more and then your phone slaps you in the face while telling you 'NO.' Check his profile out for more of these wonderful freestyle fiction! :D
Nicely done. This is quite an achievement for 5 minutes. And a wonderful creative exercise to undertake. One in which you have succeeded. The story flows well, with a power pack of an ending.
You should go create one yourself, mate! I'm sure that you're going to absolutely crush it :D With your spectacular momentum, I'm sure you're going to go through this in a breeze! Would be great for those days when you're lacking lengthy ideas. Five minutes and you've already created a whole world.
Thanks for the compliments, mate! As always, it's highly appreciated :D
** Places thinking cap on **
We'll see what I can come up with. Although you've set the bar quite high for me :)
The bar is set exactly my height. Fortunately for you, you're way taller than I am, and filled to the brim with creative juices for days. You're going to make way better FreeWrites, that would motivate me to churn out improved versions, which would challenge you. It's a cycle of awesomeness, a gift that keeps on giving :D
Ohhh, I love this idea! Definitely have to check out @improv, and that being off the cuff in five minutes, color me super impressed!!
Make one of your own, sis! I'm sure you're going to think of something amazing :D When the ideas flow in those 5 minutes, it's pure magic. Could be stressful, but I'm sure you'll manage haha! Definitely check out @improv! Such a great commenter as well, I'm sure you two will hit it off :)
I did check her out, and I'm glad you just told me she was a she, haha :)
Hmm? Did the male-female post have anything to do with this? I didn't say "she" anywhere :P
Haha, I don't know how I read your comment about him as her! Ironic! But luckily he's got all kinds of pictures :)
I think it's because of you men-women ratio post. I'm 99.99% sure of it! :D
That does make sense, LOL, of course my gender questionning would have my head on backwards!
Maybe you can ask the more experienced analytics guys if they could take a look. It's an interesting metric, too.
Nevermind, you didn't say she, I have no idea why I thought you did LOL, thank goodness for the beard post hahaha!
HAHAHA!! It's alright :D A completely honest mistake. Heck, I kept referring to you as bro before, remember that?
Karma exists dear friend @jedau, if you are evil you always pay the consequences, the rat at the end of the plate was the fruit of his planting, excellent work dear friend, thank you very much for another reflective material.
Have a great day
Indeed it does. I'm glad you caught that in my tiny parable. I didn't want to let bad acts go unpunished, not even if it's fictional. I think this story rings true in a number of different situations. Evil doesn't pay, and it's not that hard to do good things. Thank you for stopping by, my dear friend! I appreciate all the kind words :D
I get this interpretation... but I think it was a pleasant surprise to the Hawker. His grateful hawk had given him a gift in his soup, a little extra protein!
A surprise indeed! There's debate whether it's pleasant or not, but if it were me, I'll consider it karmic justice as I'm vomiting on the pavement haha
Nah, I'm all for punishing those who punish folks for doing their jobs too well.
Bonus protein!
That's a great way to look at it. Protein, whatever form it comes in, is still protein anyway haha!
And fiber!
Yes, the fiber. Now, we couldn't leave that off the diet of course!
It's amazing what you're able to come up with in just 5 min....
When the creative dam doors open, it's hard to put a lid on it haha! I know you know what I mean ;) This was but a mere trickle. I'm hoping for rain in the coming months so that I could really let it flow. I hope you enjoyed reading it, pare! :D
Upvoted and also resteemed!
Thank you so much! Wow! Definitely appreciated :D I hope you enjoyed reading the story!
If you write this in 5 minutes, show what you can do with more time, my friend.
I was not expecting the end of the story! And please put the address of that place, and if one day I go to your country to visit you, I want to taste those delicious black noodles...
And maybe I give you my dog for one night.... I think it's a good deal, do not you think?
Your dog for the whole night? Hmm... DEAL! Hahaha! Sadly, it isn't my country, my friend. These stories take place in Singapore. If you happen to visit there, let me know and I shall send you the directions to the tasty tasty treat ;)
I have written more stories that aren't restricted by 5 minutes. Check them out :) Singa-1 2 3 and 4 will wait for you when you free up your schedule, mi amigo!
Eeewww! Can't feel too sorry for him though.
While technically not part of the series, I wanted to sneak this one in at the very last minute. I wrote this in exactly 5 minutes, so I wasn't afforded time to think of a deep philosophical story. So, I opted for a parable instead. If he was a smart enough guy, he should've seen that karma a mile away. I bet his hawk did though ;)
EW LoL well then! Maybe he shouldn't have done that, I know for a fact there's about a million hawker centres in Singapura XD
It's funny, my codename for the series is indeed SINGAPURA hahaha! Quit looking at my notes, mate! I wanted to end this series with a cheeky parable. With the little time I had to write, that's all my tired brain could come up with. You can't go wrong with hawker haha! :D
LoL XD I'm not looking at your notes that's just what the place is called! XD (even though I usually say Singapore because everyone else in the area does)
Haha! I know what you mean. I love referring to the original names of places, too. It kind of honors the legacy without being too snooty about the new name. The old names are almost always better as well.
Wow nice one man, I got a bit confused at first still got it tho
Awesome! It can be confusing at first, mainly because I rushed it. But, because of the length, it's way easier to read than most of my other stories. Glad you enjoyed it, man! :)
Yeah, I often find that when you just start writing, it can take a beat to find your story, but that's the beauty of it, too. You get to see your brain process things and find patterns as you write.
This makes me so happy.
I really hope this entices people to make their own FreeWrite stories. I've written a culmination post advertising it more, which I have scheduled to be posted soon. I was in luck that everything clicked, as it could've easily gone the other way and I would've just rambled on. If that would've happened, I think I would've still posted the end result.
Yeah, my own are hit and miss, but it's mesmerising just how the brain flows, regardless.
Yeah.. Definitely a good brain workout for sure!