Weekend Freewrite, Prompt: Bittersweet

It's more than sin, slightly bigger than life, shallow enough to bury a whale in it. It brings me great pleasure and pain, yet I tarry. Sometimes I ask myself why I'm even going on with this, I'm desperate to put an end to it but not quite, as I love the feeling it gives at the very end.
After all is said and done, I lay bare, clinging to whatever is left of my humanity as I become an empty shell. When the life flows out from my loins and my mind is thrown into oblivion, I find myself stuck at the nadir of my existence as I shamefully pick up the pieces of what's left.

Its a crying shame that I'm here again, staring down the barrel of the ballistic sin that pierces my being; attempting to take a bite and then console my self by saying "this is the last time" for it has been the last time, a thousand times before and at this rate, a thousand more will come. I'm confronted by this juicy piece of life, so tasty, so sumptuous. I plunge a piece into my mouth and say to myself "I will burn the calories". Why does this seem all to familiar?

Please check some of my other write ups
https://steemit.com/beersaturday/@belemo/beer-saturday-story-drinking-game-4c1b2e01b53c4

https://steemit.com/esteem/@belemo/memoir-of-a-lost-boy-c7ddd01559c4b

https://steemit.com/freewrite/@belemo/thursday-freewrite-fried-chicken-950c0f986905b

https://steemit.com/esteem/@belemo/to-my-unborn-son-the-jackals-91152df98f086

And then this video 😁https://steemit.com/untalented-singsong/@belemo/untalented-cover-of-something-like-this-by-coldplay-fd6761dedc4f7