Steak Dinner for 2- The Socially Inept Edition: How to get yo' romance on!

whattheduck (53)in #food • 6 years ago

Story time folks...

I'm an introverted extrovert.
It sounds like an oxymoron and it is. Let me explain.

From the safety of a screen in my flat in the middle of nowhere, I feel pretty safe. I can be social because I can't read the facial expressions of people I can't see, so readers tend to get me at my most social (I can also pick the time when I want to be chatty, rather than being thrust into uncomfortable social environments unprepared.)

The point is, being socially awkward until you get to know someone is something I've struggled with.
People don't generally find other people who have difficulty articulating things attractive, but delicious food acts as a buffer until I can get my ish together and behave like a normal human.

I know some of you may be struggling with the same interaction ineptitude, so I'm going to try and help, one socially awkward pigeon to another. We gots to stand together! (at a reasonable distance, in our own houses. As completely separated physically as possible)

In a nutshell folks, cooking is how I get peeps to stick around for long enough to get to know me. (Unfortunately, I'm not much less awkward once they do, but by that time they're 7 meals deep and feel bad about leaving.)

This is how I got me a boyfriend.

I hope this steak dinner can help you navigate the intricacies of social interaction, without the comfort of a phone screen to protect you, in order for you to woo the human you want to make kissy noises at.

I wish you luck. (Pro Tip: Don't lock the doors. If you lock the doors that's kidnapping. Just feed them and be friendly. I just want to make that clear.)

As mentioned in previous posts, I'm committing to helping more folks become acquainted with their kitchens, so if you're trying my recipe and get stuck at any point, drop me a comment or message on Insta and I'll Skype or text you to help you through any snags. (Texting is better for both of us. Keep that in mind)

Now without further ado, here's how to make a simple steak dinner that looks good, tastes delicious, and will keep your company chewing for long enough so you can think between responses:

It's also low carb-ish (the carrots are a tad carby, but don't be mad at them), gluten free and contains no MSG, but it isn't Vegan. I'd ask if they're vegan before I cook this.

#The Steak bit of the Steak Dinner (for 2.)

1 Large T-bone steak. (They are tasty and cost-effective. We save the filet for when we done mucked up, more on that in future posts)
Drizzle of olive oil
2 Cloves of Garlic, whole
Sprig of Fresh Rosemary
1 Tbsp Cold Salted Butter
Salt and Freshly Ground Black Pepper

##Method (The doing stuff bit)

Remove steak from fridge about 30 minutes before you start cooking to bring it to room temperature- this helps ensure an even cook, great sear on the outside and a nice warm inside.
2.Pat meat dry with a little kitchen paper and season generously with course salt and black pepper
Drizzle a teeny bit of oil in a heavy pan- preferably cast iron- and heat on highest gas mark until oil begins to smoke.
Lay steak into the pan away from you and allow to sear for about 4 minutes on each side until a lovely brown crust forms. (Brown food tastes good, a grey steak is not what we're aiming for here. For rare, the steak will feel like your chin. For medium, like the tip of your nose. Lastly, if it feels like your forehead it's well done, and you might as well have made chicken. We're aiming for medium rare. Depending on the thickness of the steak, you may have to place it in a hot oven for 3-6 minutes to achieve medium. If the tactile approach isn't working, a meat thermometer stuck in the thickest part of the meat should register 120F/50 C. )
Just before removing from the pan, drop in garlic, rosemary and butter and baste both sides of the steak to amp up the flavour.
Remove from heat and leave to rest on a wooden board, lightly covered in foil for half the total cooking time. (If you don't have a wooden board, warm a plate in the microwave for a minute, ceramic will just cool that steak right down.)
Save the goodies in the pan for your mushroom sauce- the meatiness makes magic!
Meanwhile...make your accoutrements:

Brown Mushroom Sauce

6 Small Brown Mushrooms, wiped clean with dampened kitchen paper
1/2 Tsp Garlic Flakes (Yes, more garlic. If the O.O.Y.O -Object Of Your Affections- kisses you despite your breath of a vampire killer, you know you're on the right track!)
Splash of Brandy (optional)
100ml Heavy Cream
Salt and Black Pepper
Drippings from the steak pan*

Method:

Place mushrooms seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic flakes in the pan the steak cooked in, turn heat on high and saute until softened.
Add a splash of brandy and agitate pan for a minute to deglaze all the fond (the tasty brown goodies from the steak)
Add Cream and warm through for a minute to infuse with the mushroomy flavour.

#Honey Glazed Carrots

3 Small Carrots, the heirloom ones are pretty colours, but orange works too if you have enough faith in your flirting ability.
1/2 Cup of Vegetable Broth
*1 Tbsp Salted Butter
1 Tbsp Honey
Pinch of Salt
Squeeze of orange Juice

##Method:

Scrub off any gritty bits and thoroughly rinse the carrot to get any sand out. You can peel them but I think they're lovely in their natural form (This is a good conversation piece to warn the object of your affections that you don't wear makeup any other time except tonight)
Place in a pan with the veggie stock and bring to a simmer, covering with a lid for 2-5 minutes to steam (this depends on how big your carrots are.)
Remove lid and allow stock to evaporate before adding honey and butter, turn up the heat and agitate the pan so the carrots get bits of sticky goodness all over.
Once little areas become browned and glossy, deglaze with a squeeze of orange juice and keep warm. (You can do this while you're doing the steak, but it takes multitasking)

Green Beans

Handful of Green Beans
Small Pot of Hot Water
Small bowl of Ice Water
Salt and Black Pepper
Drizzle of Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar

##Method:

Bring salted water to a rolling boil
Add Beans and boil for 3-5 minutes (depending on how crunchy you like them)
Strain with a colander and dip into ice water to bring the temp down. (This way they stay bright green)
Drizzle lightly with olive oil and balsamic and season with salt and pepper.

To Assemble:

Lay Carrots and beans decoratively on a warmed plate (the microwave works miracles here, 1 minute and you're good)
Carve Steak from the bone and slice into 2 pieces (the smaller piece for you, larger for them. Giving them more food proves you care.)
Top with mushrooms and microherbs from the garden (everything looks better with micro herbs from the garden)
serve with red wine you decanted from a box into a fancy bottle you've kept under the sink for 3 years. (Rinse the bottle first, practice your cork popping noises before they arrive)
Drink a little wine before they arrive to calm your nerves, but not too much or you'll burn the steak and your bridges.
6 . Go forth and win yourself the love of your life! (This may take several tries, it's not the steak's fault if the other person isn't 'the one.')