Weightloss Wednesday: Progress and Thanks for the Memories, Facebook

So this morning I was looking through my ‘memories’ on facebook when they popped up (I’m so rarely using facebook these days, since joining steemit!) and saw this from one year ago.

Man. I have already blocked out at least some of the constant negative thoughts that my body image and my excess weight was causing me. I was struggling a lot with everything anyway, but my body image and the weight was always there and usually in the forefront.

Getting dressed was a pain because in addition to all the weight, I was moving less and less because it was so uncomfortable, so I was becoming less and less flexible. Putting on shoes was a ridiculously difficult chore that left me gasping for breath and usually fighting back tears. I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror on the rare chance that I did look in it. I was so completely uncomfortable in my skin.
I felt like I couldn’t be real about how I felt, because no one would ever understand. If I tried to talk to friends, I heard, “Well I would love to look like you” or “You look fine” At the Doctor I heard, “Well, stop eating white foods and you’ll be fine” or “Well, you are over 40 and you do have 5 kids, so it’s to be expected” Except that I gained the extra 100 pounds when my youngest was 11. I don’t think that can be attributed to ‘baby weight’!!!

At any rate, I was miserable in my skin. I was feeling better emotionally in general about other things, but I could not seem to get the weight to budge. I’d lose 5-10 pounds doing some “diet” (I tried Isagenix, Thrive, Saba, Paleo, Slow Carb, Low Carb, etc.). I tried wraps and cleanses. I tried everything I could think of, and it would sort of almost kinda work a tiny bit, but nothing ever seemed to work for long. I’d work my ass off to lose a few pounds and then gain it back… I could never get to a point where I felt like I could SEE a difference.

That all changed last year at the end of March. I hit rock bottom, and hit it in a way that I finally talked about all of my feelings, stresses, frustrations and my own reality with my husband. I told him that I was just so completely and utterly unhappy with myself and that it was something I had tried to get past. I had tried to learn the whole ‘body acceptance’ and how to accept myself as I was at that time… and I could not do it. I couldn’t do it and I couldn’t escape from it. My body, the extra weight was there all the time. When I sat down and my stomach sat on my lap. When I couldn’t pick something off of the floor without feeling out of breath. When I couldn’t exercise without feeling like I was wearing a giant, weighted fat suit. I couldn’t find any clothes that made me feel even remotely attractive. Wrong or right, that is how I felt about myself and my body.

I was done.

That was the week that I found the fasciablaster. I ordered it and got it the day before April… and that is the thing that changed it all for me. EVERYTHING changed… and I saw so many changes, so much progress over the course of two weeks that I hadn’t seen over the course of 6 months before… that I was finally inspired to take other steps.

• After two weeks, I quit drinking alcohol completely.
• After another week, I started tracking my calories. (I didn’t change my intake at that point, I just started tracking to see how much I was actually eating)
• After the first 6 weeks, I started exercising.
• After a few months, I started working up to intermittent fasting and that was a game changer as well!

All this time, I was using the fasciablaster for a little bit most days. I still saw changes, AND it started helping in other ways as well. An injured ankle that got stiff was released and I was able to heal from that fairly quickly. My carpal tunnel symptoms went away with the blaster and I was able to start getting a decent nights’ sleep. (that was a HUGE change for me!)

All of that was life changing for me… and here I am, 9 months later, 55+ pounds lighter and ready to take it up another notch.
This month I am making a few small changes:

• I’ve added a plank challenge that I am doing daily. I aim for 3 minutes, but vary the type of planks so I’m not doing the exact same thing each day.
• I’m still working on my pull up… ANNNNNNND yesterday I was able to pull myself up HALF WAY!!! (That may not seem like much, but before that, I literally couldn’t even make my body budge At. All. Not even one inch… so that is GREAT progress as far as I’m concerned!
• I’m tracking my protein MUCH more closely. My goal is to focus on getting my protein needs in as a first priority and it’s going pretty well so far.

Stats:

Weight
Starting Weigh: 194
Current Weight: 187.9
Goal: 170 (as far as the steemit fitness challenge for March 1st)
_{Honestly not sure I am going to make this weight goal... I had higher hopes that I wouldn't fail on the weightloss part of the holidays... but that's okay. I'll get where I get and we'll see. Anything is possible, but I am continually putting my mental health first in this journey and I won't do anything drastic or non-sustainable just to hit this goal. If it happens, I'll be beyond thrilled... but I'm not going to make myself crazy over it. Plus, it's entirely possible, as I have lost more weight than that during certain months of this journey!}

Resting Heart Rate:
Starting: 84
Current: 80
Goal: 74

You might also be interested in some of my other posts:

A couple of protein rich ideas and recipes

Meet My Husband/Weirdo/Other Half

Getting Older, Wiser and Crankier

Trip of a Lifetime: Short Story

I Would Stay: An Intense Emotional Short Story