Let's make a deal [my entry to Finish the Story Contest - Week #43!]

in #finishthestory6 years ago

finishTheStory01.jpg


Sharp Clouds in Eden

by @f3nix

As the seasons went on, she had not yet accustomed to that sight.

The expanse of clouds unfurled just beyond the edge of the plateau like a harmonious and yet restless carpet, woven from ranks of industrious angels. Only the blue condor, curious to taste the rarefied ozone flavor, occasionally tried to pierce the milky diaphragm.

An unnamed and timeless plateau. It had always belonged to that celestial ocean, cradled by its waves like the head of a gigantic primeval tortoise, asleep for thousands of years.

The woman sat absorbed on the black basalt edge. Lying on her knees stood a tablet with elusive colors. Her tapered fingers danced over it decidedly, following the counterpoint of secret music. A warm upward current ruffled her thick brown hair until she was forced to give in and stop the dance, hastily moving the curls from her forehead.

She procrastinated, holding back her knowledge on the tips of those solitary fingers that, slowing down, now left room for memories. Now the memories were transmuting, stretching in long meditating axons, which she watched parading before her eyes at the capricious rhythm of the clouds.

The plateau had no name and, at the same time, kept all the names, including those that she wanted to forget.

The fingertips resumed drumming on the iridescent surface of the tablet to stop almost immediately. As always, before even hearing him approach, she had felt his eyes on the back of her head.

"I'm almost done, Heitor." It was not true, but she tried to comfort her husband as her fingers flew frantically, receiving small luminous epiphanies from the device.

“Debes beber, mi amor. Al menos esto.” He sat close and gently pushed forward the cup of muña until the mint's scent convinced her to stop and take a couple of quick sips. Hidden among the gestures of daily care, she could not ignore a note of concern in her husband's voice.

"We were fine here until it lasted, weren't we?" The words came out crumpled, making their way slowly through the wood of thoughts. He raised an asymmetric smile and winked at her the way she used to like.

Her distinctive wrinkle of concentration formed between her eyes, two delicious hazelnut drops, while she sighed.

"You know it does not help us, mi vida. I'll join you as soon as I can." At that moment, the importance of what she had to do was the perfect alibi not to raise her gaze on him. She silently kept repeating to herself that this wasn't a goodbye.

The vibrating bark of the imperial ship came suddenly. As it emerged, the clouds frayed around the cobalt metal frigate like impotent fingers, in the last desperate attempt to hold back a blind, deep-water fish.

She watched her husband run back to the house, as planned.

"Let the show begin, bastards." She thought while the ship's jaws already spewed out a black phalanx, heading at a steady pace in the direction of the woman.

"Kalliska Pan, Imperial Master Grower, you're under arrest on evidence of desertion and high treason. Do not resist and follow us spontaneously or I will not hesitate to order coercive measures against you. "

"The Empire has no sovereignty over this soil. Be careful what you do, Colonel. "

"Master Grower, you have lost all diplomatic immunity. I repeat: do not resist. "

"I know the reason for your visit, Colonel. And I regret having to point out that you are not in the position to order anything. We could save time if you left your pathetic bluff right away. "

In an abrupt gesture toward the guards, the black leather of the colonel's glove stood out against the diaphanous sky. "You all. Back to the ship now."

The warm upward current strenghtened, making the imperial frigade's hull resound like a grim stork. They were alone. She held the Colonel's stare.

"There's still time to fix this, Kal .."

"Since long already you have lost any right to call me like that, Musashi"

While even the clouds seemed to stop, the fingers of the Master Grower continued to dance.

My ending:

Let's make a deal


"So?" Colonel was irritated by her fingers dancing.

"Well... As you know, and as some others knows, your career is fill of stains, Musashi. You can lose your rank easily." Master Grower didn't take a look out of tablet. "Some people are in mood to talk about your side jobs. There's lot of them who wants to take your place."

She spoke while Colonel took a cynical smile.

"The smuggling route goes through the aquatic under your control, Musashi." She continued. "But the route continues through the land territory out of your control. And you're just a servant to the General who gets the main percentage."

"That's why I have to arrest you, Kaliska." Colonel said. "You know too much. You are standing on my way. You know very well that you're not the first obstacle I had to eliminate. Escaping to the island out of sovereignty of the Empire is bad idea. There's deep sea water all around. No one will search for you here."

"And?" Master Grower was looking to the sealine.

Colonel didn't like her cold-bloodedness.

"On the other hand. There's a solid evidence that can provide you many years of imprisonment. You know how much illegal substances you've been produced using imperial resources and put in circulation. No lawyer can save you. If you agree to cooperate, there is possibility to leave the proson some day, maybe. If you disagree... I'm sorry, you're guilty yourself."

His words didn't have any effect. Colonel had to find her weak point.

"I'm sure you don't want your husband to find some things about you."

He exected her reaction.

"Now I know." Master Grower said. "You can't get a lover like me."

"You were just one of many. It's not a problem to me to get any woman I want. My uniform and my rank are strong aphrodisiac."

"Your aphrodisiac makes you dumb, Musashi. It was easy to soften your mettle and persuade you to tell some informations. If you hope to take me to bed again, in vain you hope. You bored me. My husband is much better lover than you are, he makes me reach the sky. As first, he appriciates my personality, he doesn't see me like a fuck body."

"Really?" Colonel laught.

"I don't see anything funny, Musashi. You're dumb again. I brought you in a tough position. You can't arrest me here, 'cause you doesn't have sovereignty. And if you shoot me, there's a possibility of a war being declared. Smuggling routes gonna be killed in that case. It's not in your interest. I can offer you colaboration, Musashi."

"What kind of colaboration can you offer?"

"Intelligence work makes a lot of connections. I can help you to increase you rank rapidly and become General. There's someone who can do a dirty job an eliminate your actual commander to free that place for you. It means much more smuggling routes, much more percetages and much more and much younger women."

"And than hold me in your hand."

"And your commander is in someone's hand."

"No chance!"

"Than, this is good bye, Musahi. See you in hell."

Master Grower tipped red button on the tablet screen. An arrow shot from the house hit Colonel in the neck and he fell dead. The guard boat slipped into the sea and disappeared in deep water.

Sort:  

All that tablet tipping for just a single arrow! Well, thinking about it the result was worth it. I enjoyed how Kalliska played with the colonel like the cat with the mouse. Just try to correct some typos and the story will be great and flow like silk (being myself a non-native English speaker like you, allow me to suggest you Grammarly. It does miracles). Keep it up!

I have to quit using Google's help in translations.

Go for Grammarly trust me 😉

Nice dialogue! I wish I could write lines of speech that seem so natural and realistic.

Thanks. Everyone can writes that kind of lines. Just relax and let the fiction goes itself.

Posted using Partiko Android

Happy to see you writing with us again, Vasigo! 😎
Great idea to have the Master Grower's finger dance with her tablet be a countermeasure against the corrupt Musashi! I liked that you brought in a deeper history between the two, one that turned bitter with his poor performance, sexist attitude and side smuggling. Good riddance to that Colonel!

I didn't think of making two stories in one. Looks like I've done something more interesting than I wanted to. I just wanted to make both of them to be bad.
I'm glad you like the story.

Posted using Partiko Android

So basically, we have a long-overdrawn version of "fuck you, die already" but executed perfectly (of course with some need of grammar changes as @f3nix suggested). Anyways, this is a good story of playing Phoenix Wright (anybody knows the Phoenix Wright games here????) but just that there's no court and the win conditions is that your opponent dies... sorry this was my equivalent of le may-may time here; it still holds true as the imperfect analogy it is.

La filosofía: Anyways, the important substance is the act of duping a person's senses long enough to execute them. It's very much possible (and the story leaves this wide open) that Kal's a criminal and she doesn't give a shit that to feel bad about it. However, playing as basically a half-hypocrite, she then uses her position to light up what much of a shittier bastard the Colonel is in retrospect of talking about her crimes. And if any legal system cares to arrest people doing wrong, it ultimately has failed to do so and there's more than "common sense," life and morality. In fact, the bringing up of economy highlights this very ardent issue of the Colonel's hypocrisy and how his relationship to the Empire is still economically formulated and reinforced. But of course leaving that for things that the Empire's economy depends upon (like its culture and ideology) we can clearly see the ruling ideology and culture as the Colonel speaks, even if he is mediated through military sub-culture and more align to the conservatism of the Empire. All-in-all, the arrow to the neck, the obscenity, marks of not only a literal discussion but also the evidence needed to overthrow the Empire; for which the Empire's state of shock is highlighted with the boat leaving... Now have a Red-Death Spooky.

Upvot'd-n-resteem'd.
Red Death Spooky.gif

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