Break- My Entry for #finishthestory
The Church
The air was sticky and they’d been drinking for hours. It was late into the evening of the going away party for Ron and Jenni. They’d been good friends to Sean when he first arrived, but since then they’d grown distant. In fact, it had been awhile since Sean had hung out with anyone. He’d arrived to a room full of people he didn’t know, already well on their way to getting drunk.
“It’s so great to see you,” Jenni said, offering a hug. “Sean, oh man!”
Ron offered a handshake. “Hey man, good to see you one last time.”
“Thanks for the invite,” Sean replied. “And sorry to see you going.”
The room erupted with laughter. A man had slipped and fell on his ass and he was rolling on the ground hollering away. “I’m goanna grab a cigarette,” Sean said.
“Oh wait!” Jenni grabbed his arm. “Let me introduce you to everyone!” She proceeded to bring him through the rooms of the townhome they rented for the night’s going away party. There was a Jack and a Royal and a Jeremy and a Kim and a Karen and more and Sean soon forgot all those names anyway. He finally go outside for a cigarette, his heart racing and his anxiety peaked.
“Fucking…” he mumbled to himself. “Too many fucking people in that space.”
“I know, right?”
The voice startled him. He peaked over and saw a girl sitting with pink dyed hair. “Can
I get one of those?”
“You know Jen and Ron?” Sean asked, offering her a cigarette.
“Sure,” the girl replied. “We met a few times at church.”
“Church?” Sean asked. “I’m incredulous. I didn’t know they were Christians.”
“Oh, it’s not that kind of church.” The girl took a drag on her cigarette and the presumed air of mystery she was attempting to paint annoyed him.
“Okay,” Sean said. “Well, then, what kind of church is it?”
The door to the porch opened and the music blared from inside. Ron came outside with a group of other party goers, all drunk and cheering.
“I’m telling you,” one of the guys was saying. “That girl’s totally into me. I’m going to go for it.”
“Do it!” Ron said. “We all believe in you man. Believe in yourself!” Then, turning to Sean. “We’re going for a swim!” Ron announced. He shouted it again, and the group cheered.
Sean glanced over to the girl, whose name he still didn’t know. She was smiling.
They trekked down the dirt road from the pension then through a dirt path. The ground was rocky, volcanic in some spots in that way typical to Jeju. Drunk, most of them stumbled. They passed by a fish farm, the ponds of which were covered in nets. Then a water treatment plant with rumbling generators inside its deep warehouse.
Then they reached a secret, secluded beach. The pink haired girl stripped down, an obsidian necklace dangling from her neck, glowing in the moonlight. She descended into the water.
“It warm and wonderful!” she said. “Come on.”
The group stripped down, and Sean saw many were wearing the same pendant. He began to strip as well, as the idea of warm ocean waters in such a hot night was intoxicating. He went into the water, swimming till it was deep enough to fully submerge.
When he came back up, he heard screaming.
Sean felt his body instantly tense up, ready to fight or flee. He took a deliberate deep breath Calm Down; calm down he chanted in his mind. Only now he noticed there were two shouts. "Ron, Ron, Ron." and "Bill, Bill, Bill."
Some stupid game. Sean guessed, as he swam, still taking deep breaths. Sean knew what was wrong with him, he had not taken his medication since three days- there was nothing left. The new batch was overdue by a week. He saw the pink haired girl waving at him.
"Come join the Church of Joy."
"No, No. I am getting out." Sean shouted at her.
I should not have come without taking the pills. He grit his teeth in anger.
The shouting was getting louder and frenzied; and Sean had to stop and just hang in the water with fists clenched to his sides. His mind was reeling, reliving the terrible battle which had killed almost the whole company and then the capture by the "rebels"; the torture that claimed his best friend Maron and put Sean in the Military Hospital for seven weeks suffering from severe injuries both physical and mental.
"Kill, Kill, Kill- Kill, Kill, Kill" The shout was wreaking Sean's sanity and he was already loosing his grip on reality; he knew this, understood this helplessly; in no position to recognize that the shouts were not "Kill" but "Bill". Sean started to swim towards the shore, looking to reach the shadows of boulder jutting out on the shoreline. Not Now! He scolded himself. He reached the shadow of the rock where he stubbed his toe on a sharp rock hidden in the foamy waters. Sean bent to pick the rough tear shaped rock, bigger than his fist and with a wicked point. Now trembling with latent violence, Sean bowed his head, beating his forehead with the rock, trying to distract himself. This was all he could do with the dregs of sanity his mind was holding on to.
Something pulled at his arm and involuntarily Sean swung his fist at the intruder. The stone he was holding thudded into the girl's temple with enough force to crack the skull and fatally injure her. Sean stumbled away, his tortured mind recognizing the pink hair. A new frustration welled inside him.
"Aaghh" He screamed as he stumbled down to all fours. "Sean, Hey... Sean. Come on here.." The rest of the sound was drowned out as a wave broke over him. Sean was aware suddenly of hands pulling at him. In his mind he was struggling to go to Maron as he lay dying; blood pumping out of his chest as the animals tore at him.
"No! Never Aga.." He screamed swallowing salt water as another wave attacked him. Panicky for lack of breath and bereft of sanity Sean lashed out with the stone he still held.
When the cops arrived the next morning they found five corpses on the beach. One had a tear shaped jagged stone still in his cold fist.
The Contest: https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@bananafish/finish-the-story-week-56
Photo Credit: Pixabay.com
I perceive the nihilism spreading like poison trough all the story. Liked very much the allitteration between Bill and Kill. In the end the Church of Joy remains in the backstage, beneath the dark waters swallowing the whole scene.
“You can't talk about fucking in America, people say you're dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that's cool.”
― Richard Pryor source
congrats on the @curie vote!
This sounds like a real shit party! I audibly gasped when he struck the woman with the stone.
I thought this was a believable way to induce 'the crazy voices' trope alongside something more realistic.
Poor Sean, and all the others. What a sad night and ending!
Many Thanks @ bananafish.
Yay. Yay. Yay!
hi @sarez, nice story!!
I like it when a story is born in an unexpected context and in a short time it takes on the air of tragedy. a sick boy, sean, who couldn't get out of the black tunnel he was in. only darkness and perhaps some moment of feigned serenity with his medicines. you didn't give him any hope, did you know from the beginning that they would all die?
congratulation for your curie rating
Well said! The Finish the Story contest is all about inspiring and letting the stories take unexpected turns 👍
Sean started off edgy. I tried to build on that dark shadow and tragedy was a natural consequence once I pictured Sean as one more victim of war.
Keep Steemin!!
I like how you've described the state of complete alienation among a group of people. A bunch of shadows masking their loneliness with alcohol and the appearance of having fun. )
This is exactly the idea I was trying to express.
Experiencing violence does damage to the the normal way of thinking. I tired to underlay this theme.
It is nice to see that the story engaged you.
stop peaking into my daily existence!
ahahahah....
Hi sarez,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Thank you!
For Your Support.
That is some smart way of story telling, It looks like i was also in that party and later enjoyed some wet games in the beach except for the fact that everything went smoothly afterwards.
I really thought there was personal grudge behind the plot that sean was trying a revenge by doing this faking a story of no medication...is it so???
Sean went completely wacko! PTSD is not fun and has terrible consequences when left untreated. What a sad tail.