The Last Witness - [A Short Story]
(story preview only)
This is an entry for @gmuxx's Art Prompt Writing Contest #8
Photo prompt image by @sad-dad
Title image by @negativer from @sad-dad source.
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A great community of writers there, helping each other get better at what they enjoy doing.
This story made me cry, and I keep thinking about it with how cold it has been the past couple of weeks. Perhaps it hit a bit too close to home :)
I feel like we got dangerously close to this situation a number of times the past couple weeks.
I imagined you slipping getting out of the hottub and just lying there, looking up at the night sky, thinking of me and the kitties and hoping we were safe...sob
And I'd imagine you staring at me through the window as I lay in the snow, freezing to death, and you're thinking 'If only he was closer...I could maybe reach out and pull him inside. Oh well.'
"I told him not to go out in the hottub." shrug
Lol, hilarious exchange you two.
Many thoughts and feelings came and went away as the story was unfolding. The first part felt like an adventure, the second one as an apocalypse, the blockchain fragment felt funny, the last part sounded to me kind of philosophically. I was asking myself what's the reason of him not being able to live without his server :) I was perceiving him first as a man of duty and will, but this impression was then blurred by him being incapable to fight for his life to the end. This vulnerability felt more human, maybe some hints to it in the beginning could help me get on the right wave.
Thanks for your comments! You're right, I did cover a lot of territory in the story, but I did have a lot of things to say :) Thanks for the feedback!
You're welcome ! Keep up the good work!
@negativer!!! WHYYY??
I love how you incorporated the block (or some other group you belong to that I'm not familiar with) in the story.
Thanks for another great read to pull me out of, ya know, life.
The chat room in here is SIMILAR to the current writersblock, but I've been doing chat rooms since the mid 90s, so there's any number of memories to draw from. Write what you know! :) Thanks for reading!
Interesting to know about you!
I was a fetus in the late nineties, so I definitely don't 'know.' :P
Gripping story, Neg...
Interesting how "witness" has a new context in the blockchain universe! And I don't think I'd ever go from the prompt photo to ...Florida...? Very imaginative. :O
I also think I'd have abandoned the blockchain and gone with my wife and son... I think civilization is highly overrated. ;)
Well done!
😄😇😄
Sorry for the delay in responding; was traveling back to Florida! It is decidedly less cold here than my story predicted, but winter is not yet over :)
I am pretty sure I'd abandon the blockchain too in favor of my family...although MAYBE it would depend on the value of steem at the time.
Thanks for reading!
No worries on any delay, ever. It's the nature of network interaction. ;)
Glad it ain't that cold there yet... ;)
That was nothing short of fantastic. With N.America under this cold spell, it seems like the whole world is freezing over. And what if it did? Where would people be? What would they do?
The most admirable of us would cling to the things they hold dear; the things they derived their meaning and purpose from. In Jon's case, he saw himself as the last light in the dark, and was going to fight until he too was snuffed out.
I love the title too. Well done.
That was my thought as well, as I'm freezing my bits off in Wisconsin; the whole world might as well be under a sheet of ice.
I'm not sure if I'd be self-sacrificing enough to stay behind to help others. I'd like to think I would. I hope I don't have to be tested that way, because I'm not sure I'd like the answer.
Thanks much for reading and commenting, @jordan.lesich!
Oh my, this was riveting!! And I can see why it made @morodiene cry. This is such a well-written and powerful piece of fiction. How do I get you nominated for something cool so this story gets a nice whale upvote?
In real life, does this mean you’re going to become a witness? Speaking of real life, it is so cold here in the Midwest that I fear your apocalyptic tale may come true.
Thanks @jayna! I wish I knew how to swim with whales and partake in their magical effervescence. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing the boat by not taking advantage of those things.
No 'last witness' action for me, but I feel like I've stepped very close to that edge the last couple weeks here with how cold its been.
Thanks for reading!
Ha ha, I see what you did there... swim with whales, effervescence, missing the boat. All water themed. 😊
There’s definitely something odd going on with our arctic blast up here plunging down through the south. I can see why you were inspired to write this story!
Well done! Are those names of people in your writers guild? I could see a prequel to this one...
Not specific names, no. Random names, but they parallel real people. You'll see I have a reference to Arkansas :)
Always makes things a little more interesting when you write about people you know, even if they're only tangentially involved in the story :)
This is true. Truth is stranger than fiction. I was busy focusing on the @ names and missed the name Jason in there. Funny! But hey, nice to be included, though maybe next time it will turn out better for us :)
Sorry to have killed off the lot of you. But there was a glimmer of hope; you may have made it. Jason, however...may not have. Sorry about that :(
It's okay. You can't help it, you're Negativer! Most people meet their untimely ends very poetically. I enjoyed the read. :)
My goodness, what a fascinating piece of writing! This is intriguing, well-worded, and has a wonderfully executed plot! Many, many kudos to you for this work! 😊
Thank you for reading, and I'm happy you enjoyed it!
A very moving story! A dismal ending to be sure, but realistic and believable.
Thanks! :)
Hi again, @negativer,
I'm back because I stumbled across a fascinating article that you may find interesting in the context of your story:
It just seemed like more than a coincidence that I'd come across that the day after reading your story! ;)
Hoo boy, I hope I don't turn out to be right. I like being right, but not on this.